Part 1 (1/2)
Intra Muros.
by Rebecca Ruter Springer.
PREFACE.
The pages of this little volume contain no fancy sketch, written to while away an idle hour; but are the true, though greatly condensed, record of an experience during days when life hung in the balance between Time and Eternity, with the scales dipping decidedly toward the Eternity side.
I am painfully aware of the fact that I can never paint for others the scenes as they appeared to me during those wonderful days. If I can only dimly show the close linking of the two lives--the mortal with the divine--as they then appeared to me, I may be able to partly tear the veil from the death we so dread, and show it to be only an open door into a new and beautiful phase of the life we now live.
If any of the scenes depicted should seem irreverent in view of our religious training here, I can only say, ”I give it as it came to me.”
In those strange, happy hours the close blending of the two lives, so wrapped about with the Father's watchful care and tender love; the reunion of friends, with the dear earth-ties unchanged; the satisfied desires, the glad surprises and the divine joys, all intensified and illumined by the reverence and love and adoration that all hearts gave to the blessed Trinity, appeared to me the most perfect revelation of that ”blessed life” of which here we so fondly dream. With the hope that it may comfort and uplift some who read, even as it then did, and as its memory ever will do, for me, I submit this imperfect sketch of a most perfect vision.
R.R.S.
”_Shall we stop at that poor line, the grave, which all our Christianity is always trying to wipe out and make nothing of, and which we always insist on widening into a great gulf? Shall we not stretch our thought beyond, and feel the life-blood of this holy church, this living body of Christ, pulsing out into the saints who are living there, and coming back throbbing with tidings of their glorious and sympathetic life?_”
--_Rt. Rev. Phillips Brooks, D. D._
CHAPTER I.
When the holy angels meet us, As we go to join their band, Shall we know the friends that greet us, In the glorious spirit-land?
Shall we see the same eyes s.h.i.+ning On us, as in days of yore?
Shall we feel their dear arms twining Fondly 'round us as before?
Shall we know each other there?
--[Rev. R. Lowry.
I was many hundred miles away from home and friends, and had been very ill for many weeks. I was entirely among strangers, and my only attendant, though of a kindly disposition, knew nothing whatever of the duties of the sick room; hence I had none of the many delicate attentions that keep up an invalid's failing strength. I had taken no nourishment of any kind for nearly three weeks, scarcely even water, and was greatly reduced in both flesh and strength, and consciousness seemed at times to wholly desert me. I had an unutterable longing for the presence of my dear distant ones; for the gentle touch of beloved hands, and whispered words of love and courage; but they never came--they could not. Responsible duties, that I felt must not be neglected, kept these dear ones much of the time in distant scenes, and I would not recall them.
I lay in a large, comfortable room, on the second floor of a house in Kentville. The bed stood in a recess at one end of the apartment, and from this recess a large stained-gla.s.s window opened upon a veranda fronting on the street. During much of my illness I lay with my face to this window, and my back to the room; and I remember thinking how easy it would be to pa.s.s through the window to the veranda, if one so desired. When the longing for the loved distant faces and voices became more than I could bear, I prayed that the dear Christ would help me to realize his blessed presence; and that since the beloved ones of earth could not minister to me, I might feel the influence of the other dear ones who are ”all ministering spirits.” Especially did I ask to be sustained should I indeed be called to pa.s.s through the dark waters alone. It was no idle prayer, and the response came swiftly, speedily.
All anxieties and cares slipped away from me, as a worn-out garment, and peace, Christ's peace, enfolded me. I was willing to wait G.o.d's time for the coming of those so dear to me, and said to myself, more than once, ”If not here, it will be there; there is no fear of disappointment there.” In those wonderful days of agonized suffering, and great peace, I felt that I had truly found, as never before, the refuge of ”the Everlasting Arms.” They lifted me; they upbore me; they enfolded me; and I rested in them, as a tired child upon its mother's bosom. One morning, dark and cold and stormy, after a day and night of intense suffering, I seemed to be standing on the floor by the bed, in front of the stained-gla.s.s window. Some one was standing by me, and, when I looked up, I saw it was my husband's favorite brother, who ”Crossed the flood” many years ago.
”My dear brother Frank!” I cried out joyously, ”how good of you to come!”
”It was a great joy to me that I could do so, little sister,” he said gently. ”Shall we go now?” and he drew me toward the window.
I turned my head and looked back into the room that somehow I felt I was about to leave forever. It was in its usual good order: a cheery, pretty room. The attendant sat by the stove at the farther end, comfortably reading a newspaper; and on the bed, turned toward the window, lay a white, still form, with the shadow of a smile on the poor, worn face. My brother drew me gently, and I yielded, pa.s.sing with him through the window, out on the veranda, and from thence, in some unaccountable way, down to the street. There I paused and said earnestly:
”I cannot leave Will and our dear boy.”
”They are not here, dear, but hundreds of miles away,” he answered.
”Yes, I know, but they will be here. Oh, Frank, they will need me--let me stay!” I pleaded.