Part 64 (1/2)
”You did not tell him, Henrik?” Mrs. Nielson rocked back and forth in the blue cane chair, breaking green beans into small pieces and throwing the pieces into an enamel wash-basin.
”No.”
”He never was to one--there never was one in Mt. Sinai since I can remember.”
”Once when I worked for the fruit company it came here but we were very busy and I could not go.”
”Henrik, do you think, will it _really_ be good for him?”
”Good? Mama, you do not know. When I went to that one in Snohomish I did not have a job to work or money. I just went to look and I didn't spend anything. But there was all the people, everybody in the town, and all laughing. Everybody, laughing. And so much to see!” Mr. Nielson began to chuckle.
”Shows and machines and good livestock like you never saw. And funny, crazy people in a tent. Oh Mama, when I went home I was happy too. I didn't worry. Right after, I got a job and met you!”
Mr. Nielson slapped his knees.
”How many? Twenty years ago, but see, see how I remember! Lars will be no more like this when he sees all the laughing. He will come home like I did. But I didn't tell him. He don't know.”
A cat scratched at the screen and Mrs. Nielson rose to open the door. She sniffed the air.
”Raining.”
Mr. Nielson took up his newspaper.
”Henrik, he can't go on the rides.”
”So? I went on no rides.”
”What can he do?”
”Do? He can see all the people laughing. And he can see the shows and play with the dice--”
”No!”
”Mama, he is sixteen, almost a man. He will paly with the dice, he will say, and I will throw them.
And he will see the frogs jump. And I will take him to the tent with the funny people. The brain, Mama, the _brain!_ That is what enjoys the carnival, not arms and legs. That is what will make Lars understand.”
”Yes, Henrik. We must cheer him up. Maybe after, we can bring him the dog and he will play with it.”
”Sure, certainly, he will. He will be happy, not alone in this house, feeling sorry for himself.”
”Yes.”
”It will start him to think. He will think about how to make for himself a living, like anybody else.
And he will read books then, you'll see, and find out what he wants to do. With his brain!”
Mrs. Nielson paused before speaking.
”Henrik.”
”Yes?”
”What _can_ he do, like you say, with his brain, without arms and legs?”
”He has arms and legs!”
”As well not, as well no back, no body.”
”Hilda! He _must_ do something, something. Look at that blind woman who can't hear, like we read in the magazine--she did something. Can't you see, Mama, can you not understand? I would take care of Lars, even if it is wrong. But you know the railroad will give only enough for you when I die, and I am not young. We married late, Mama, very late. If Lars does nothing, how will he live? Is it an inst.i.tution for our boy, a home for cripples where he sees only cripples all day long, no suns.h.i.+ne, no happiness? For Lars? No! At the carnival tomorrow he will see and begin to think. Maybe to write, or teach or--something!”
”But he has not been from the house, since--”
”More reason, more!”
Mrs. Nielson broke beans loudly. Kindling crackled in the big cast-iron stove.”This blind woman you say about, Henrik. She has feet to walk.”
”Lars has eyes to see.”
”This woman has hands to use.”
”Lars has ears to hear, a brain to think, a tongue to talk!”
The cat scratched sharp sounds from the linoleum.
Mrs. Nielson rocked back and forth.
”This woman has money and friends. She never saw or heard, she cannot remember.”
Mr. Nielson went to the sink and drew water from the faucet, into a gla.s.s. He drank the water quickly.
”So, then Lars has a heavier Cross and a greater reward.”
”Yes, Henrik.”
”You will see, Mama, you will see. After the carnival, he will know what he wants to do. He will begin to think.
Mrs. Nielson rose and dusted the bean fragments from her lap, into the washbasin. She picked up the cat and went outside onto the porch. Then she returned and snapped the lock on the door.
”Maybe you are right, Henrik. Maybe anyway he will like little dogs and talk to me. I hope so, I hope so.”
Mr. Nielson wiped his hands on the sides of the chair and listened to the rain.
Lars felt his body pushed by strong invisible hands, felt himself toppling over like a woolen teddy bear onto Father's shoulder. He bit his lip and closed his eyes.
Mr. Nielson laughed, applying the brake.
”There now, the turn too sharp, eh Lars? I will be more careful.”
The car began to move again, more slowly, jerking, rattling. Lars looked out the winds.h.i.+eld at the fields and empty green meadows.