Part 3 (2/2)

Then there came to him, at the poste restante of one of the towns he regularly visited, a letter from Sarojini.

Dear Willie, Our father is seriously ill and all his ashram work is suspended. I know you will feel that this is no great loss to the world, but I have begun to have other ideas. The ashram was a creation, say what you will about it. I suppose that is the effect the prospect of death has on us. The other news, which is just as bad, and perhaps even worse from your point of view, is that Kandapalli is not well. He is losing his grip, and nothing is weaker than a revolutionary who is losing his grip. People who admired the strong man and wished to share in his strength run from the weak man. His weakness becomes a kind of moral failing, mocking all his ideas, and that I fear is what is happening to Kandapalli and his followers. I feel I have landed you in a mess. I don't know whether it is possible for you to get back to Joseph, or whether Joseph himself is part of the problem.

Willie thought, ”It is too late now to worry about Joseph and his vicious son-in-law, filling that flat with tension. No one is more vain and vicious than the low wis.h.i.+ng to set the record straight. I was worried about that son-in-law as soon as I saw him, with his twisted self-satisfied smile.”

BHOJ N NARAYAN SAID one day, ”We have an interesting new recruit. He owns a three-wheeler scooter-taxi. He comes of a simple weaver-caste background, but for some reason-perhaps a teacher, perhaps the example of a friend or distant relation, perhaps some insult-he was granted ambition. That's the kind of person who's attracted to us. They've begun to move, and they find they want to move faster. In the movement we've done research on those people. We've studied caste patterns in the villages.” one day, ”We have an interesting new recruit. He owns a three-wheeler scooter-taxi. He comes of a simple weaver-caste background, but for some reason-perhaps a teacher, perhaps the example of a friend or distant relation, perhaps some insult-he was granted ambition. That's the kind of person who's attracted to us. They've begun to move, and they find they want to move faster. In the movement we've done research on those people. We've studied caste patterns in the villages.”

Willie thought, ”You are my friend, Bhoj Narayan. But that's your story too. That's why you understand him.” And then a little later, not wis.h.i.+ng to betray his friend even in thought, this extra idea came to Willie: ”Perhaps it's my story as well. Perhaps that's where we all are. Perhaps that's why we are so hard to manage.”

Bhoj Narayan said, ”He sought our people out. He invited them to his house and gave them food. When the police repression was bad he offered his house as a hiding place. I think he might be useful in our courier work. We should go and check him out. His story is like Einstein's, but without the brilliance. He went to a little town to study, but he didn't get a degree. The family had to call him back to the village. They couldn't afford the ten or twelve rupees' rent for a s.p.a.ce in the town, or the twenty or thirty rupees for the boy's food. It's pathetic. It makes you want to cry. He suffered when he went back to the village. He had got too used to town life. Do you know what town life was for him? It was going to a little tea shop or hotel and having a coffee and a cigarette in the morning. It was going to a half-rupee seat in a rough little cinema. It was wearing shoes and socks. It was wearing trousers and tucking in his s.h.i.+rt and walking like a man, not flopping about with country slippers and inside a long s.h.i.+rt. When he went back to the family's weaver-caste house in the village he lost all of that at one blow. He had nothing to do. He wasn't going to be a weaver. And he was bored out of his mind. You know what he said? 'In the village it's pure nature, not even a transistor.' Just the long, empty days and the longer nights. In the end he got a bank loan and bought a scooter-taxi. At least it got him out of the village. But really it was his boredom that brought him to us. Once you learn about boredom in the village you are ready to be a revolutionary.”

One afternoon a week or so later Willie and Bhoj Narayan went to the scooter-man's village. This wasn't a village of uneven thatched roofs and dirt roads, the village of popular imagination. The roads were paved and the roofs were of local red curved tiles. Weavers were a backward caste, and the dalit or backward-caste area of the village began at a bend in the main village lane, but if you didn't know it was a dalit area you would have missed it. The houses were like those that had gone before. The weavers sat in the late-afternoon shade in the yards in front of their houses and spun yarn into thread. The looms were in the houses; through open front doors people could be seen working them. It was an unhurried scene of some beauty; it was hard to imagine that this spinning and weaving, which looked so much like some precious protected folk craft, was done only for the village, for the very poor, and was a desperate business for the people concerned, run on very narrow margins. The spinning wheels were home-a.s.sembled, with old bicycle rims for the main wheels; every other part seemed to be made from twigs and twine and looked frail, ready to snap.

The scooter-man's scooter was in his front yard, next to a spinning wheel. He lived with his brother and his brother's family and the house was larger than the average. The two bedrooms were on the left, the rooms with the looms were on the right. The rooms were no more than ten or twelve feet deep, so that you were hardly in the house when you were out of it. At the back of the house on one side was the open kitchen and a large basket with corn cobs, bought for fuel. On the other side was the outhouse. Some richer person's field came right up to the plot, right up to where the scooter-man's brother had planted a fine-leaved tree, as yet quite small and slender, which in a couple of seasons would be cut down and used as fuel.

s.p.a.ce: how it always pressed, how in all the openness it always became minute. Willie was unwilling to work out the living arrangements of the house. He imagined there would be some kind of loft in each of the bedrooms. And he understood how, to a young man who had known the comparative freedom of a small town, to be reduced to the small s.p.a.ce of this weaver's house, and to have nothing to do, would be a kind of death.

They brought out low benches for Willie and Bhoj Narayan, and with ancient courtesies, as though they were very rich, they offered tea. Old deprivation showed on the face of the wife of the brother. Her cheeks were sunken and she looked about forty, though she could have been no more than twenty-five or twenty-eight. But Willie at the same time was moved to notice the care with which the brother's wife had dressed for the occasion, in a new sari of muted colours, grey and black in a small oblong pattern, with a fringe of gold.

The scooter-man was beside himself with pleasure to have Willie and Bhoj Narayan in his house. He spoke a little too freely of his admiration for the movement, and from time to time Willie noticed a kind of disturbance in the brother's eyes.

Willie thought, ”There's a little trouble here. Perhaps it's the difference in ages, perhaps it's the difference in education. One brother has been a trousers-man and has learned boredom. The older brother hasn't. He or his wife may feel that they are sinking too deep in something they don't understand.”

Afterwards, when Bhoj Narayan asked Willie, ”What do you think?” Willie said, ”Raja is all right.” Raja was the name of the scooter-man. ”But I am not so sure of the brother or the brother's wife. They are frightened. They don't want trouble. They just want to do their weaving work and earn their four hundred rupees a month. How much do you think Raja borrowed from the bank for his scooter?”

”A scooter costs about seventy or seventy-five thousand rupees. That's new. Raja's scooter would have cost a good deal less. He's probably borrowed thirty or forty thousand. The bank wouldn't have given him more.”

”The elder brother probably thinks about that every night. He probably believes that Raja is over-educated and has got above himself and is heading for a fall.”

Bhoj Narayan said, ”They adore Raja. They are very proud of him. They will do what he wants them to do.”

TWO OR THREE times a month they called out Raja to do some work for the movement. He took Willie or Bhoj Narayan or some others to where they had to go in a hurry. And, having this facility now, Willie went often to the post office in small towns, to check his poste restante letters from Germany. They got to know Willie in these post offices; they didn't always ask him to show his pa.s.sport. That had seemed to him charming, the Indian friendliness people spoke about; it occurred to him only later to be worried. times a month they called out Raja to do some work for the movement. He took Willie or Bhoj Narayan or some others to where they had to go in a hurry. And, having this facility now, Willie went often to the post office in small towns, to check his poste restante letters from Germany. They got to know Willie in these post offices; they didn't always ask him to show his pa.s.sport. That had seemed to him charming, the Indian friendliness people spoke about; it occurred to him only later to be worried.

And then, after some months, Raja began to ferry supplies, with Willie or Bhoj Narayan, or on his own. There was a s.p.a.ce below the pa.s.senger seat of the scooter, and it was also easy to fit a false floor. The pick-up and drop-off points always changed; it was understood they were only stages in a kind of relay. Bhoj Narayan acted as a coordinator; he knew a little more than Willie, but even he didn't know everything. Supplies, mainly weapons, were being a.s.sembled for a new front somewhere. After all its recent losses the movement was cautious. It was using many couriers, each courier being used only once or twice a month; and supplies were being sent in small quant.i.ties, so that discovery or accident would result only in a small local loss, nothing to alter the larger plan.

Raja said to Willie one day, ”Have you ever seen the police headquarters? Shall we go, just to have a look?”

”Why not?”

It had never occurred to Willie to go looking for the adversary. He had lived for too long now with his disconnected landscapes, his disconnected duties, with no true idea of the results of his actions. It hadn't occurred to him that this other, well-mapped view of the area was also open to him, would be as easy as opening a book. And when they were on the main road, heading for the district headquarters, it was for a while like returning to an earlier, whole life.

The landscape acquired a friendlier feel. The neem and flamboyant shade trees beside the road, though for stretches the line of trees was broken, spoke of some old idea of benevolence that was still living on. The road acquired another feel, the feel of the working world, with the pleasures of that world-the truck stops with big painted signs, the cola advertis.e.m.e.nts, the smoky black kitchens at the back with earthen fireplaces on high platforms, and the brightly painted plastic tables and chairs (everything painted the colour of the cola advertis.e.m.e.nts) in the dusty yards at the front-so different in mood and promise from the self-sacrificing pleasures Willie had been living with for more than a year. Where there was water there were friendly small fields of paddy, maize, tobacco, cotton, sometimes potatoes, sometimes peppers. The fields of the liberated areas Willie knew had fallen into ruin: the old landlords and feudals had run away years before from the guerrilla chaos, and no secure new order had been established.

It was easy for Willie to return to old ways of feeling, and it was a shock when they came to the district headquarters, to the police area at one end of the little town, in a terrible noise of twenty or thirty taxi-scooters like Raja's, and in a brown-blue billow of exhaust smoke, to see the stained old sandbags (speaking of sun and rain and sun again) and machine guns and the crumpled, much-used uniforms of the Central Reserve Police Force outside police headquarters, uniforms that spoke of a deadly seriousness: to see this effect of the disconnected things he had been doing, to understand in a new way that lives were at stake. The police parade ground, perhaps also the playing ground, was sandy; the kerbstones of the roads within, the camp roads, were newly whitewashed; the shade trees were big and old: like the rest of that police area, they would have had a history: they probably came from the British time. Raja, shouting above the screech and sc.r.a.pe of scooters, excitedly told Willie where in the main two-storeyed building the police commissioner's rooms were, where the police guest rooms were, and where elsewhere in the compound, at one side of the parade or playing ground, the police welfare buildings were.

Willie was not excited. He was thinking, with a sinking heart, ”When they were telling me about what the guerrillas were doing, I should have asked about the police. I never should have allowed myself to believe that there was only one side in this battle. I don't know how we make mistakes like that. But we do.”

Not long after this Raja was admitted to a training camp. He stayed for a month, then went back to his scooter work.

It was then that things began to go wrong for him.

Bhoj Narayan said to Willie one day, ”It's terrible to say, but I think we are having trouble with Raja. Both his last deliveries of supplies were captured by the police just where he deposited them.”

Willie said, ”It might be an accident. And possibly the people who received them were to blame.”

Bhoj Narayan said, ”I have another reading. I feel the police have been bribing his elder brother. Perhaps bribing both brothers. Thirty thousand rupees is a big debt.”

”Let us leave it for the time being. Let us not use him.”

”We'll do that.”

Two weeks later Bhoj Narayan said, ”It's as I feared. Raja wants to leave the movement. We can't allow that. He'd have us all picked up. I think we'll have to go and see him. I have told him we are coming to talk it over. We should aim to get there just when the sun sets. We'll take another scooter.”

The sky was red and gold. The few big trees about the weavers' area were black. In a house about a hundred yards away there was a cooking fire. It was the house of a family who made bidi leaf-cigarettes. If they rolled a thousand cigarettes a day they made forty rupees. This meant they made twice as much as a weaver for a day's work.

Bhoj Narayan said to Raja and his brother, ”I think we should go inside the house.”

When they went in the elder brother said, ”I asked him to leave. I didn't want him to get killed. If he gets killed we will have to sell the scooter. We will make a loss on that and we will still have to pay off the debt to the bank. I wouldn't be able to do it. My children will become paupers.”

The elder brother's wife, who on the previous occasion had worn her best sari, with the gold fringe, but was now wearing only a peasant woman's skirt, said, ”Maim him, sir. Take away an arm or a leg. He will still be able to sit at a loom and do something. Please don't kill him. We will become beggars if you do.” She sat on the floor and held Bhoj Narayan's legs.

Willie thought, ”The more she begs and pleads, the angrier he will get. He wants to see the fear in the man's eyes.”

And when the shot was fired, and Raja's head became a mess, the elder brother's eyes popped as he stared at the ground. That was how they left him, the elder brother, staring and pop-eyed next to the home-made looms.

All the way back to their base they were grateful for the stutter of the scooter.

A week later, when they met face-to-face again, Bhoj Narayan said, ”Give it six months. In my experience that's what it takes.”

FOR SOME WEEKS afterwards Willie marvelled at himself. He thought, ”When I first met Bhoj Narayan I didn't like him. I was uneasy with him. And then somehow when we were together in the street of the tanners, and I was very low, I found a companions.h.i.+p with him. That companions.h.i.+p was necessary to me. It helped me through a bad patch, when I was sinking into old ways of feeling, old ways of wis.h.i.+ng to run away, and that feeling of companions.h.i.+p is now what is uppermost when I think of him. I know that the other Bhoj Narayan, the man I distrusted, is still there, but now I have to look very hard for him. The later man is the man I know and understand. I know how he thinks and why he does what he does. I carry the scene in the house with the looms in my head. I see the scooter in the yard next to the spinning wheel with the old bicycle rim. I see that poor elder brother with the popping eyes, and understand his pain. And yet I do not think I will willingly betray Bhoj Narayan to anyone. I do not think there is any point. I haven't worked out why I feel there is no point. I could say various things about justice and people on the other side. But it wouldn't be true. The fact is I have arrived at a new way of feeling. And it is amazing that it should have happened just after fourteen or fifteen months of this strange life. The first night, in the camp in the teak forest, I was disturbed by the faces of the new recruits. Later I was disturbed by the faces at the meetings in the safe houses. I feel I understand them all now.” afterwards Willie marvelled at himself. He thought, ”When I first met Bhoj Narayan I didn't like him. I was uneasy with him. And then somehow when we were together in the street of the tanners, and I was very low, I found a companions.h.i.+p with him. That companions.h.i.+p was necessary to me. It helped me through a bad patch, when I was sinking into old ways of feeling, old ways of wis.h.i.+ng to run away, and that feeling of companions.h.i.+p is now what is uppermost when I think of him. I know that the other Bhoj Narayan, the man I distrusted, is still there, but now I have to look very hard for him. The later man is the man I know and understand. I know how he thinks and why he does what he does. I carry the scene in the house with the looms in my head. I see the scooter in the yard next to the spinning wheel with the old bicycle rim. I see that poor elder brother with the popping eyes, and understand his pain. And yet I do not think I will willingly betray Bhoj Narayan to anyone. I do not think there is any point. I haven't worked out why I feel there is no point. I could say various things about justice and people on the other side. But it wouldn't be true. The fact is I have arrived at a new way of feeling. And it is amazing that it should have happened just after fourteen or fifteen months of this strange life. The first night, in the camp in the teak forest, I was disturbed by the faces of the new recruits. Later I was disturbed by the faces at the meetings in the safe houses. I feel I understand them all now.”

THEY WENT ON with the slow, careful labour of taking supplies to where a new front was to be opened, working like ants digging out a nest in the ground or taking leaf fragments to that nest, each worker content and important with his minute task, carrying a speck of earth or a bitten-off sc.r.a.p of a leaf. with the slow, careful labour of taking supplies to where a new front was to be opened, working like ants digging out a nest in the ground or taking leaf fragments to that nest, each worker content and important with his minute task, carrying a speck of earth or a bitten-off sc.r.a.p of a leaf.

Bhoj Narayan and Willie went to a small railway town to check that the deliveries there were secure. This town was one of the places where Willie picked up his poste restante letters. He had last visited it with Raja, and had had the feeling then-from the too familiar, too friendly clerk-that he had been overdoing the trips to the post office in Raja's scooter and had been making himself too noticeable there as the man who got letters from Germany. Until then he had thought of the poste restante as quite safe; very few people even knew of the facility. But now he had a feeling of foreboding. He examined all the dangers that might be connected with the poste restante; he dismissed them all. But the foreboding remained. He thought, ”This is because of Raja. This is how a bad death lays a curse on us.”

The railway workers' colony was an old settlement, from the 1940s perhaps, of flat-roofed two-roomed and three-roomed concrete houses set down tightly together in dirt roads without sanitation. It might have been presented at the time as a work of social conscience, a way of doing low-cost housing, and it might just about have looked pa.s.sable in the idealising fine line (and fine lettering) of the architect's elevation. Thirty-five years on, the thing created was awful. Concrete had grown dingy, black for two or three feet above ground; window frames and doors had been partially eaten away. There were no trees, no gardens, only in some houses little hanging pots of basil, an herb a.s.sociated with religion and used in some religious rites. There were no sitting areas or playing areas or was.h.i.+ng areas or clothes-drying areas; and what had once been clean and straight and bare in the architect's drawing was now full of confused lines, electric wires thick and thin dipping from one leaning pole to the next, and the confusion was fully peopled: people compelled here by their houses to live out of doors in all seasons; as though you could do anything with people here, give them anything to live in, fit them in anywhere.

The safe house was in one of the back streets. It seemed perfect cover.

Bhoj Narayan said, ”Stay about a hundred feet behind me.”

And Willie dawdled, his heels slipping off the smooth leather of his village sandals and trailing on the dirt of the street.

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