Part 40 (2/2)
For small evening parties, the host and hostess during the early part of the evening remain near the door to receive guests. Later they must mingle with the company to a.s.sist in entertaining. A late arrival, however, should be noted, though it is their place to search out their hostess and offer the greetings of the evening.
As guests enter the room the hostess should advance a step to meet them. Her words of greeting should be first addressed to the elder ladies of an incoming group, then the young ladies, lastly the gentlemen. The hostess should be perfectly at her ease, having apparently no thought beyond the reception rooms.
The Entertainment.
Where the entertainment is mixed, a little music is appropriate, a little dancing and a little card-playing. It is well to engage some one to play for the dancing, since guests usually do not care to preside at the instrument. A violin is a great addition.
If, however, the dancing is an afterthought, any gentleman who is a good pianist may offer his services to relieve any lady at the instrument.
The hostess should see that conversation does not lag. She must not interrupt an entertaining _tete-a-tete_, unless it last too long; but, if conversation languish between a couple thrown together, she should bring in a third person, or draw away one, while subst.i.tuting another.
Invitations.
If invitations are issued a week or ten days in advance, the hostess has a right to expect that her guests should arrive on time, and carefully attired.
The form of the invitation is similar to an ”At Home,” as: MRS. EMMONS VAN ZANT, At Home, Thursday, June sixteenth, at eight o'clock. 2040 Westmoreland Street.
Duty of Guests.
The hostess may ask her guests to sing or play; but, if they refuse, it is bad taste to urge them. The hostess, if she plays or sings, may favor the guests with a single selection after others have been heard.
It is well for amateurs to master a few pieces that they can render without the notes. This relieves one of that time-worn excuse--”I haven't my notes.” This is also the case with those who sing. By ceasing to urge performers, the company will be freed from much of that repeated, coy refusal that only needs sufficient coaxing to comply.
When a lady is asked to play or sing, the gentleman nearest her should at once escort her to the piano, remaining near her while she plays, and turning the music, if he be competent. He will also take charge of her fan, bouquet and gloves, and when the music is finished, he will again offer his arm for her return to her seat. At the same time he will thank her for the pleasure she has given himself and the company.
Other guests, together with the hostess, should also express their gratification. Never comment on the quality of the instrument. Never offer to turn the sheets of instrumental music unless familiar with the notes.
When any one is playing or singing, let the company preserve silence, and if they should converse, let it be in the lowest tones. To interrupt a performer is the worst possible taste. Instrumental performers have as much right to expect the courtesy of silence as vocalists. The hostess has the privilege of indicating, to a noisy group, by a gesture, her desire for silence. Those who will talk should at least withdraw from the immediate vicinity of the instrument. If asked to play an accompaniment, do so, not to display your own accomplishments, but so as to afford the best possible support for the singer.
MUSICALES.
A musicale, or a musical reception, is a difficult entertainment. A program must be arranged, and sufficient amateur performers secured to make a success of the affair. Herein comes the difficulty, amateurs, after a very unwilling consent has been wrung from them and their name and selection placed upon the program, are so little to be depended upon. Would that there could be found some way of oiling the machinery at a musical entertainment and of soothing the ruffled feelings of a hostess when those most depended upon to render a.s.sistance withdraw at the last moment for some vague reason. When one firmly refuses at the first to appear upon the program, no offence can be taken, but to withdraw for any but the most urgent reason is an actual breach of etiquette.
For this reason, those hostesses whose purses are of sufficient length, are driven to employ professional a.s.sistance upon these occasions. Another objection to amateur performers is the semi-professional jealousy existing between them as to precedence on the program.
Performers should arrive punctually, and while the order of the program should be followed as far as possible, no one should be offended at being asked, when it is necessary to play or sing out of the order agreed upon.
Arranging the Program.
If the musicale is to be entirely professional, much trouble will be saved by seeking some prominent musician, and with him arrange the program, and letting him act for the hostess in the matter.
A professional artist should not be kept beyond the time agreed for, neither should he be urged to render selections entirely different, or largely in excess of those arranged for. The hostess should express her pleasure, and may request some little favor. Applause is allowable, but it must be within limits.
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