Part 36 (1/2)
[Ill.u.s.tration: ENTERTAINING THE GUESTS WITH A SONG.]
Observe scrupulous silence while others are playing and singing. If you possess any musical accomplishments, and are asked to contribute your share toward the entertainment of others, do so without waiting to be urged; or, if you decline, decline absolutely. Urging should not be resorted to by the hostess, which custom would soon cure a certain cla.s.s of performers from the disagreeable habit of holding back for repeated solicitations. If you consent to play or sing, do not weary your audience. Two or three stanzas of a song, or four or five pages from a long instrumental piece are sufficient. If more is greatly desired it will always be called for.
Remember, it is only the lady of the house who has the right to ask you to play or sing, and to all other requests give a smiling refusal.
Beware of too Much Reserve.
Remember also, that, for the time being, owing to your mutual acquaintance with the host and hostess, you stand on a perfect equality with all the guests present and should, therefore, without further preliminaries, converse freely with any.
Never commit the blunder of stealing away to a side table, and there affecting to be absorbed in some volume of engravings, or finding some unlucky acquaintance in the room, fasten upon him or her for the entire evening. These are social crimes that no shyness can or should excuse.
Where the party is a small social gathering and various parlor games are resorted to for amus.e.m.e.nt, one should always join in when asked, even while not caring so to do. Exercise skill, appear pleased, and while, perhaps, not enjoying the evening greatly one's self, there will be at least the consciousness of having contributed to the happiness of others. In reality, there is no better field for employing the Golden Rule than in the whirl of social life--no wider field for unselfishness.
A superficial knowledge of the etiquette and rules that govern the various social games of cards will be found a great advantage in society, since, if one does not dance or play cards, he will be forced to content himself with other wall-flowers like himself. A gentleman should never let even urgent solicitation induce him to play for stakes at a party. There is a code of right and wrong beside which the code of society has no weight.
Hours of Arrival and Departure.
An evening party usually begins about nine P.M. It is supposed to end about midnight unless the devotees prefer to remain later. Some, who do not care for this amus.e.m.e.nt retire immediately after supper.
When to leave at a ball is a very elastic rule which varies to suit the circ.u.mstances of the case. To leave as soon after supper as may be or to stay until the ball is actually over, are equally correct courses to follow. Half past one is a very good time to depart. Here in this busy country where the gallants of the evening will be the business men of the morrow, earlier hours are usual than among the leisure cla.s.ses of the Old World.
In retiring from a large party it is sufficient to bow politely when expressing the pleasure you have received. And if the hostess or host offer the hand, shake it cordially, but not too roughly.
An after call is required the same as after a ball or dinner party.
RECEPTIONS.
For informal receptions, invitations are most frequently written on the left hand corner of the hostess's visiting card: MRS. CHARLES GREY, Thursday, from five to eight o'clock.
At an evening reception, the lady should be dressed in handsome home toilet, and receive standing. If several ladies receive together, their cards should be enclosed with the invitation. The simplicity of the occasion leaves the hostess the more time to devote to the enjoyment of her guests. Music, both vocal and instrumental, is a great addition to an evening reception.
Refreshments are generally served informally. The table should be set tastily in the dining-room, and supplied with coffee or chocolate at one end and a tea service at the other. Besides these, daintily prepared sandwiches, buns, cakes, ices and fruits are served. If the reception is very select, and the number of guests small, a servant presents a tray with tea, sugar and cream, while another follows with the simple refreshments that should accompany it.
A wedding reception, or a very elaborate evening reception, of course admits of much more ceremony, as well as more substantial refreshments, than small entertainments.
Ladies attend evening receptions in _demi-toilette_, with or without bonnets, and gentlemen in full morning dress.
[Ill.u.s.tration: RECEPTION TO A DISTINGUISHED GUEST.]
Invitations to evening receptions, lawn or musical parties are informal, but require an answer, as it is agreeable to every hostess to know the number of her expected guests.
[Ill.u.s.tration:
_To meet their Royal Highnesses,_
_The Infantes Eulalia_
_And_