Part 8 (1/2)
Never hand your own card to your hostess. If it be necessary, introduce yourself verbally, doing so quickly and clearly, and being sure to mention yourself, if a young lady, as ”Miss.”
Busy, elderly, and even young men are very p.r.o.ne to leaving their cards in the hands of mother, sister, wife, or any other lady of the house for distribution, though after an elaborate entertainment it is much more indicative of good breeding that a young man should pay his respects in person to his hostess.
Calls upon Young Ladies.
Young men in this country leave cards for the young ladies of a house, but they should always leave one at the same time for her mother or chaperon. In Europe they are never permitted to leave a card for a young lady at all. They call upon the mother or chaperon, and while they may offer to send for the young lady, she is never asked after.
If a gentleman, in calling where there are several young ladies, especially wishes to see one of the number, he may ask for her, but, before the call is over, should say he would be pleased to see the other ladies; more especially is there no excuse for ignoring the existence of the mother or chaperon of the young girl.
If a gentleman knows the ladies of the house well, it is not necessary for him to send in a card if they are at home, unless it be the first call of the season, when it is well to leave one in the hall. In a household consisting of two or more ladies not closely related a card should be left for each one.
When ladies are visiting in a house where the caller, whether man or woman, is unacquainted, he or she always leaves a card for the lady of the house and requests to see her: a request which she may not grant, but one which it would be a marked slight to omit.
In leaving a card for a friend visiting at a private house, never write her name upon it; depend upon the servant, or whoever opens the door, to remember for whom it is intended. This is only permissible when your friend is at a hotel. In doing this write the name above yours.
When a newly-married man sends cards immediately after his marriage to his bachelor friends it may be expected that he wishes to retain them as such in his new life. Upon the reception of these cards they are expected to call upon the bride at once.
How to Send Cards.
Cards sent by messenger are enclosed in a single unsealed envelope; sent by mail this envelope is enclosed within another and larger one which is sealed. Cards handed in at the door are received by the servant on a salver to prevent being soiled by handling.
When to Leave Cards.
First Calls of the season necessitate the leaving of cards. Let them be left quietly in the hall. This custom a.s.sists the lady of the house in revising her visiting list.
Letters of Introduction necessitate that those who have received courtesies in response to such, should, upon their departure, send P.P.C. cards to those that have thus remembered them.
A Change of Residence renders it desirable to send cards by mail to one's friends with the new address engraved thereon. However, should there be unpaid calls, the cards to these should be left in person.
The Return from an Absence, including any length of time, should be announced by sending out cards having the address and reception day engraved upon them. Where P.P.C. cards have been issued previous to departure these should always follow the return.
Preceding a Debut. Previous to the date decided upon for the presentation of a _debutante_ to the social world, the young girl's mother calls upon those of her friends whom she desires to be present upon the occasion and leaves them her own and her husband's cards, and, if she have grown sons, their cards also.
Reception Invitations to a full dress reception are preceded by a call by card upon all the acquaintances to whom the hostess may be indebted.
After Cards is the name applied to those that are sent to friends after a marriage and are engraved thus:
MR. AND MRS. CHARLES E. SMITH.
Later on, however, when the bride returns visits, she usually leaves her own card with her married name engraved upon it, thus:
MRS. CHARLES E. SMITH.
at the same time leaving her husband's separate card with her own.
Before Marriage, the bride expectant in paying her farewell calls, leaves her own separate card, together with that of her mother or chaperon, with all acquaintances she may wish to retain in her new life.