c3 (1/2)

Do you guys know the cla.s.sic story of [head hanging on a beam, awl poking b.u.m ]? (An idiom to describe studying a.s.siduously and tirelessly.)

If not, let me explain it to everyone.

A long, long time ago, there was a youth that adored potatoes.

To become a potato master, he worked hard to learn about everything concerning potatoes.

However, blocking his path towards seeking that knowledge lies a tremendous enemy.

The enemy is like a huge mountain stopping all forward attempts in his road.

And that mountain is the evil clutches of Di Yana.

Ah, wait... this is not the story of the youth.

Cough...cough. Let me start all over again.

A long, long time ago, there was a youth that adored potatoes.

To become a potato master, he worked hard to learn about everything concerning potatoes.

However, blocking his path towards seeking that knowledge lied a tremendous enemy.

The enemy was like a huge mountain stopping all forward attempts in his road.

And that is the devil called ”sleepiness.”

The devil seeks to ruin the youth incessantly, preventing him from learning the world's most valuable knowledge.

As a result, the diligent and a.s.siduous youth decided to tie his hair with a rope hanging on a house beam and stuck nail-shaped potatoes into his legs to fight against the sleepiness. (Basically a device where if one nod off sleeping his hair got pulled by the rope and feels pain)

And at last, he was able to completely win against the mountain.

This is the story of [the old man moving mountains] (An idiom to describe where there's a will, there's a way)

What? Something's amiss? I don't care anymore.

Don't ask me why I know this story.

Anyway, the reason I would mention this story is simple.

That's because the situation that I'm in now is somewhat similar to the story.

Di Yana's right hand is grabbing my hair while her left hand is choking my neck from the back. This puts me rigidly in place beside the desk and I'm forced to write that adventurer information form.

If my hand movement stops ever so slightly, even if only by a little, she would use her fingernails to carve and dig into the neck muscle from my back without any hesitation. As if she wants to pull out a little man that lived in my nape. (Reference to Attack on t.i.tans) At the same time, I've no idea why is she so obsessed with my poor white hair like a frenzied demon seemingly wanting to pull them out one strand at a time and keep them as collectibles.

Simply put, I've already lost all of the joy and freedom of my life.

Where's the human rights? Doesn't the country of Eastern Magic Alliance have something called human rights?

”Hurry up and write... don't you run around all over the place... if you don't finish writing this form, don't bother thinking about leaving this place for your entire life.” A low husky voice sounded from Di Yana's throat, making the temperature of the surrounding air fall by more than 10 degrees, there's even white mist stemming out.

Recalling the incident just before, I can only feel a sense of helplessness in my lamentable life more and more.

In the first place, I was going to complete the form at my place before I got aggroed by Wu De and chased him around half the village. And just at the moment where I was going to catch up with him, I got dropped to the ground by Di Yana's attack. Mistaking me for not writing the form, she dragged me to the living room of the village head like some sort of war trophy. And finally, I am contained in this place like some criminal that is wicked beyond redemption, removing my rights to freedom and mocked at by Wu De 's laugh.

What is this? S&M Prison Play? Have the love of this woman and her brother finally reach the point of desire where they wish to imprison me forever? That is to say, for the rest of my life I'm unable to express my love and endearment to potatoes and indulge in sensual pleasures with them anymore?

I gasped as the thought of it sent a chill up my spine.

No!

Please save me! Potato G.o.ddess! Your most loyal servant is now suffering under the tyranny of the evil iron fisted demon.

The speed of my writing decreases as my thoughts are running wild. Instantaneously, Di Yana's keen eyes have caught on to it and 2 acute pains are transmitted to me from my scalp and the back of my neck at the same time.

”Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! My nape muscle is almost gone! It's almost gone! Even if you pull it out, I will not shrink any more! (reference to attack on t.i.tan) I cried and increase my hand speed in my struggling state. And only then, did Di Yana decrease the force of her grip.

Shoot... the force she used just now can easily crush a boulder.

It's you right? The hero that killed the demon king a few years ago should be you right Di Yana da ren? (Da ren is a respectful tone to address someone)

There is nothing to be done but to focus all my energy on this hateful form.

The form consists of two parts. The first part asked about basic information while the second part contains some weird things.

Sorry, let me correct myself.

The second part is asking about some incomprehensible rubbish questions.

[Question 48: When you are eating, do you eat vegetables or meat first?]

What if potatoes are the only things I eat? How am I supposed to know which should I eat first? Are you looking down on poor people having only potatoes as food? Moreover, does it even matter whether I eat vegetables or meat first?