c1 (2/2)
In short, every few years in the country region I live in, Eastern Magic Alliance, there would be a periodic selection for adventurers, who would act as a reserve army, as preparation for the fight against the demon king after his resurrection.
Young men, who were between 16 to 25 years of age, had to submit their information to the responsible official of their region and afterwards the adventurer guild would send men to each region for further inspection.
Those who pa.s.s the requirement would be given a C-rank adventurer t.i.tle, whereas those who failed would be given the t.i.tle Reserve adventurer.
In other words, this meant that everyone would unconditionally become Adventurers~
Excellent~ Excellent~
Applause, please!
Is the brain of this country king filled with tomatoes? His brain is full of liquid. (TL note: Author meant the king's brain is useless.)
As for the responsible official of our village, she was this woman, the village head’s daughter, the number 1 beauty of this village, the high and mighty Di Yana.
Please don’t be mistaken, this was basically the third time that we had spoken with each other. The first time I was informed to fill in this form. The second time was when handing in this form. As such, there is no possibility of a romantic past.
I might as well say, that between the two of us, I’m the one that had an [injured past] from her.
“See for yourself, the jokes that are written on this form. Do you any idea of the severity of this doc.u.ment?”
Of course, I know… to seriously make all the people of this country to become Adventurers, this kind of seriousness really made one scared.
“Let me read it out for you.” Holding the form with both her hands, like reciting a lovely poem, Di Yana started to read out the wonderful words written by me.
“Name: Fa’mu Potato…”
However, after finis.h.i.+ng the first sentence she abruptly stopped and stared at me like an eagle staring her prey.
“…Continue? Why did you stop? Is something wrong?”
“Why are you the one with the puzzled look on your face? The one that's puzzled should be me!” Di Yana growled and proficiently picked up a stone from the ground, before throwing it at me without any hesitation.
Ah… I finally remembered. She was the sister of Wu De, and has thrown stones at me in the past!
“What did you not understand? Is something wrong with my name?” I retorted, while using my arms to block the stones that she was throwing at me. However, how could this fragile body of mine withstand against the barrage of those evil stones? But I wouldn’t surrender under such an abuse of authority.
“What’s the deal with your surname being Potato?”
“Is there a problem with Potato being my surname?”
“… You, you’re simply unreasonable.”
“What do you mean unreasonable? As a man, one must have the mentality to be willing to sacrifice everything of his to the love of his life. If you can’t even forsake yourself, can you still call yourself a man? Isn’t it normal that if I love potatoes, my surname will be Potato? If you can’t even understand such simple logic… What kind of pitiful woman are you then?” Although I’ve said such words with confidence, but I had already prepared myself to defend against the heavy blows that were about to come from Di Yana.
“Isn’t your brain the one that is pitiful? I really have lost to you.” Di Yana gave out a long sigh, as she was apparently too lazy to hit me anymore. With an expression of a headache, she continued, “The fact that your surname is Potato can be overlooked, but the following is the most problematic part.”
“Hmph… I’m curious to hear what is also not to your liking.”
Seeing as Di Yana didn’t kill me just now, I recovered some confidence and crossed my arms, while sitting on my potato heap, listening to her lovely voice.
“Gender: Male Age: 19
Marital Status:
Married Spouse Name: Dolly Freya, Anna Dia… (Total 548 names)”
Hehehe… listening to someone else calling the names of my wives was kind of embarra.s.sing. I shyly scratched the back of my tilted head and giggled.
However, Di Yana seemed to be angry about this, no, you could call her irrational now.
“… What the h.e.l.l have you written! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”
After only reading a few lines of the pages that were filled with my wives’ names, Di Yana was fed up. Growling with all her might, she tore apart my short white hair, and pressed the form against my face, using her knee to kick towards my jaw, making me regret being born in this world.
I understood now… This was a trial that the G.o.d of Potato had prepared for me. If I could endure through this – HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO ENDURE THIS?!
“OUCH! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! I’m going to die! And bald! Even if I’m bald, I won’t become strong so please stop now!” [TL note: One pun man.]
“HUH? After tearing your hair out, you can finally allow this moldy brain of yours to bask in the sunlight, right?” My desperate pleas had no effect on Di Yana and instead, they had the opposite effect on her. She forcefully continued to tear my hair out, as she was seemingly determined to tear my scalp away along with the hair.
“Sorry! It’s all my fault! I apologize! Please stop!”
I had no idea what I had done to provoke Di Yana, but now was definitely the right time to apologize.
“Hu… Fine… It’s fine if you know where you are wrong, so stop joking around. You’re single, right? Write down the facts.” Di Yana let go of me and pa.s.sed me the form, exasperating heavily with beads of sweat flowing down her white skin onto the ground. Meanwhile, she was looking at me as if I was a r.e.t.a.r.d who was only good for rolling around in a pile of potatoes.
“Obviously…” I curled up in the shape of a potato on the ground and said in a low voice.
“Did you say something?” Di Yana questioned me, as she didn’t clearly hear my small mumbling just now, with a savage look in her eyes.
“Like I said… I’m obviously married… with all my wives… lovingly…”
As if she had not seen such a shameless person before, Di Yana’s anger was reaching a boiling point, but she still managed to restrain herself from going berserk.
“Oh? Where? Where are your so-called 548 wives?”
“There they are, they are my harem, total numbering 548 of them.” I pointed at the heap of potatoes below me, as I spoke with a justified, yet slightly angry, voice.
“You…” With a dark face, almost like she was acc.u.mulating her anger value so as to unleash her ultimate move on me, Di Yana’s whole body was trembling.
“I’m wrong!” A feeling of enlightenment suddenly hit me and my face suddenly turned serious.
“You finally understand…” Di Yana broke into a gentle smile, as she was under the impression that I had finally attained enlightenment from my moldy brain. But her smile soon became frozen at my next sentence.
“Yesterday…I seem to have eaten Lian Sai… Sorry, I only have 547 wives left now.”
“You ate… your wife?”
“Yup! I love her, she’s delicious.”
Bang! –
“Wah!” I shrieked, as my nose almost got broken off from my handsome face by the flying kick that Di Yana had launched. Luckily, however, because she was wearing a farmer’s long skirt, my line of sight followed her voluptuous white leg upwards and finally saw her panties.
They were white.
But…
Since it wasn’t the pattern of potatoes, there wasn’t much to be seen.
Yup, it was time to erase that from my memories.
Like she had had enough of my antics, Di Yana took out another form and gave me the last warning. “Fill this form in properly! When I come by tomorrow, I don’t want to hear any more things about potatoes! I only want to know the THINGS ABOUT YOU!”
What… was that a confession of love just now? What a daring confession…
But like I said, I won’t accept your feelings. Neither you nor your brother is a potato.
So before I dump you two, you two should give up. Or else, the ones that would be hurt in the end would be you.
Stomping angrily, Di Yana left my potato sanctuary. What a shy child. No wonder she was so angry looking at the love between me and my wives. Was her heart in pain being so close to me, yet unable to obtain my love?
Sigh…
But what's really in pain is… my face.
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