Part 6 (1/2)

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Don't miss the chance to have G.o.d speak to your heart about the following questions.

Am I a contented person?

I know some will say, ”Look to eternity? Yeah, I guess I think about death once in a while, but what does it mean to think eternal thoughts? What's that?” Well, here's an example: If all the grains of sand on all the beaches in all the world reprsent eternity, then you could say that one grain of sand represents life on this earth. And all the rest of the grains of sand on all the beaches in all the world represent that same amount of time in eternity. We're over here grinding this one grain of sand, our time on earth, to get everything out of it (and failing miserably)! But too often we ignore all the rest G.o.d has in store for us. To be content, focus on eternity. Let enough be enough. Learn by example. Get to the place where you can say yes to the question, ”Am I a contented person?”

Am I seeing the blessings of contentment in my life?

Contentment brings blessings. Blessings such as joy in the present, and health and satisfaction in the simple things of life. Contentment brings a settled sense of sufficiency and a peaceful pace that proves ”more” is not the focus of your thinking. You have life. What a privilege to be alive in this world! Contentment brings joy in the present.

Contentment also builds our capacity to enjoy ordinary pleasures. If you're content, simple stuff makes you happy. Like a nice walk. Go for a walk today with a member of your family, and hold his or her hand. Talk about important things. Enjoy a simple pleasure; for example, a loving conversation or a good meal without racing to your next appointment. Simple things: a nice piece of music savored. Cultivate your capacity to enjoy ordinary pleasures.

Contentment also promotes true joy in eternal things. You know, the angels have a party when one sinner is saved (see Luke 15:10). How phenomenal is that? They know how to have a good time!

If you antic.i.p.ate picking up your Bible and can't wait to hear G.o.d speak, that's contentment. If you can sit quietly rejoicing in a simple pleasure and not need to think of what you will do next, that's contentment.

Am I choosing contentment over covetousness moment by moment?

Contentment is a choice. When you choose contentment repeatedly, you create a lifestyle. Don't expect to replace covetousness with contentment in a moment. You don't wake up in the morning and say, ”Wow, I think I got contentment last night. It just happened. This is so cool-.” No; contentment begins with a choice. And then another choice. And then another. It happens moment by moment.

Put off covetousness; put on contentment. It's a choice. Thus, a desire for something comes into my mind. ”Not necessary,” I respond. ”I have enough.” That's contentment.

Paul said in Philippians 4:11, ”I have learned to be content in whatever circ.u.mstances I am.” ”I have learned to be content in whatever circ.u.mstances I am.” Contentment is something you learn. You can practice it. G.o.d wants us to improve at this every day we live. Contentment is what replaces wilderness att.i.tude number two. Take a moment to pray about that. Contentment is something you learn. You can practice it. G.o.d wants us to improve at this every day we live. Contentment is what replaces wilderness att.i.tude number two. Take a moment to pray about that.

Look Up Father, thank You again today for the truth of Your Word. Lord, I've learned by experience that hearing Your Word is not enough. I know I need to act upon Your Word. It's doing what it says that brings results! Lord, don't let me deceive myself today into thinking that I am changed because of what I have read. Let me be changed because of what I do in response to what I have read. Let my home and my place of work and my life this week be filled with contentment.

Lord, I do have enough-I have You. I have Your promises. I have Your faithfulness. I have Your strength and wisdom to pursue change in the hurtful areas of my life. I know I can trust You with my burdens. Forgive me for thinking that my happiness is in anything external. Help me to embrace the truth that G.o.dliness with contentment is great gain. All that I pray, I pray in the name of Jesus, who is my ultimate example of true contentment. Amen.

NOTE.

1. 1. Randy Frame, ”Same Old Benny Hinn, Critics Say,” Christianity Today Christianity Today , 5 October 1992, 52. , 5 October 1992, 52.

CHAPTER 5:.

REPLACE A CRITICAL ATt.i.tUDE...

NUMBERS 12:112 SAY IT IN A SENTENCE: SAY IT IN A SENTENCE:.

A continuously critical att.i.tude toward those around me will consume all that is healthy and joy-producing in my life.

A farmer stood by the road one day and observed a large wagon filled with household goods moving toward him. Dust flew as the wagon pulled to a stop and the driver shouted, ”We're moving from Brownsville to Jonestown. How much farther is it?”

”About thirty miles,” said the farmer.

”And what kind of people shall we expect to find there?” asked the traveler.

”Well, what kind of people did you leave behind in Brownsville?”

”Oh, they were so negative and so cheerless, so deceptive and so ungrateful, just a G.o.dless bunch, all of them. That's the main reason we are moving. What kind of people will we find in Jonestown?”

”The very same kind, I'm sorry to say,” said the farmer.

And he was right. He knew the traveler would find in the next town the same kind of people he perceived lived in Brownsville. Far more often than we care to admit, outlook determines outcome. The way that we look at a matter, the att.i.tude that we choose, has direct bearing on how we experience reality. Two people can look at the very same circ.u.mstance and experience it entirely differently based upon the att.i.tude they choose-the patterns of thinking that they have formed over a long period of time.

THE SPECK AND LOG SYNDROME.

Are you familiar with the words of Christ regarding a critical att.i.tude? He asked His followers during the Sermon on the Mount: ”Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?” ”Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?” (Matthew 7:3). (Matthew 7:3).

I have made a pretty big deal thus far focusing on the truth that we choose our att.i.tudes. I have focused upon that because it is true and because until we accept responsibility for our att.i.tudes, we will never be able to change. However, that concept of personal responsibility is in no way intended to ignore the role of background on our att.i.tude. Some of us struggle more with certain att.i.tudes because of the cultures we are from, the kind of homes we grew up in, or the kind of churches we attended during our formative years. Those factors have certainly influenced my tendency toward certain att.i.tudes.

Maybe you grew up in a home that was forever picking at the imperfections of others and finding fault with anyone and everyone. Maybe you sat through countless Sunday dinners of ”roast preacher.” Maybe you were endlessly criticized yourself and now hear that same att.i.tude in the way you talk to your children. Possibly you struggle in many public settings to simply relax and enjoy what is going on, because all you have known how to do is inspect and examine and form opinions about what you see and experience. If you grew up learning to criticize the speck in others' eyes while a logjam formed in your own, keep reading. If any of this rings true, you could be in for a breakthrough chapter. We're looking at ”Replacing a Critical Att.i.tude,” so let's get G.o.d's heart in the matter by opening His Word.

Back to the desert . . . And Wilderness Att.i.tude Three Open your Bible to Numbers 12. We've been going back and forth between the Old Testament and the New Testament, between failure and victory, between wrong att.i.tudes and right ones, between the wilderness and the Promised Land. Here we go again. Numbers 12 records one of the five events that led up to r ow#x2019;s decision to thrust the children of Israel into the wilderness because of their murmuring, murmuring, a summary term we are using for five wrong att.i.tudes. a summary term we are using for five wrong att.i.tudes.

Verse 1 begins, ”Then Miriam and Aaron spoke against Moses because of the Cus.h.i.+te woman whom he had married.” ”Then Miriam and Aaron spoke against Moses because of the Cus.h.i.+te woman whom he had married.” The words The words spoke against spoke against are translated in the are translated in the New Living Translation New Living Translation as as criticized. criticized. No doubt as he faced the heavy burden of leading the Lord's people, Moses needed leaders he could rely upon to help him shoulder the load. Miriam and Aaron were Moses' sister and brother, the people closest to Moses and the ones he trusted most. For a while it seemed like everything was going great. Then, all of a sudden, Miriam and Aaron made some choices. They got sideways on the tracks. Very quickly and without warning, the leader they were supporting-their own brother- became a target for their criticism. No doubt as he faced the heavy burden of leading the Lord's people, Moses needed leaders he could rely upon to help him shoulder the load. Miriam and Aaron were Moses' sister and brother, the people closest to Moses and the ones he trusted most. For a while it seemed like everything was going great. Then, all of a sudden, Miriam and Aaron made some choices. They got sideways on the tracks. Very quickly and without warning, the leader they were supporting-their own brother- became a target for their criticism.

A CRITICAL ATt.i.tUDE DEFINED.

We made a distinction in chapter 3 when we noted that complaining relates to situations, whereas criticism relates to people. Our negative thinking that relates to people is called criticism. Miriam and Aaron had definitely fallen into it big-time in regard to Moses.

Here's a definition of destructive destructive criticism, so we will be clear as we discuss this painful subject. Criticism is criticism, so we will be clear as we discuss this painful subject. Criticism is dwelling upon the perceived faults of another with no view to their good. dwelling upon the perceived faults of another with no view to their good. That's what we're actually doing when we engage in criticism. We're dwelling upon the perceived faults of another with no view to their good. That's what we're actually doing when we engage in criticism. We're dwelling upon the perceived faults of another with no view to their good.

Let's break down the definition. First, note the word perceived. perceived. The reason why I say ”perceived faults” is because my perception of what is wrong with you is not necessarily accurate. There may be circ.u.mstances that I don't understand, or maybe the problem is actually with me, not you at all. In reality, we can become very critical of others, yet be entirely wrong in our opinion. Now let's move away from the issue of whether the faults are real or perceived, because either way the att.i.tude is destructive to us. So that's the first thing- The reason why I say ”perceived faults” is because my perception of what is wrong with you is not necessarily accurate. There may be circ.u.mstances that I don't understand, or maybe the problem is actually with me, not you at all. In reality, we can become very critical of others, yet be entirely wrong in our opinion. Now let's move away from the issue of whether the faults are real or perceived, because either way the att.i.tude is destructive to us. So that's the first thing- the perceived faults. the perceived faults.

Now consider the words dwelling upon dwelling upon the perceived faults of another. That's the key issue, isn't it? Some people are very positive, upbeat, and encouraging. the perceived faults of another. That's the key issue, isn't it? Some people are very positive, upbeat, and encouraging.

But others are often critical of people and their actions. Are you a person who walks through life saying to yourself; ”That's not right!” and ”Who thought that looks good?” and ”Someone should have taken care of that”? If you think that way, then you're dealing more directly with the dangers of a critical spirit than a person who is more positive and upbeat. Whether it's one fault in one person we lock into, or we get ourselves to the place where we can't see anything right, we are in danger of the wilderness att.i.tude called criticism.

Does this ever happen to you? You sit through a wors.h.i.+p service with your church, and you make mental notes. That's not the way that I would do that That's not the way that I would do that or or Why would they do that? Why would they do that? or or Why is he moving around that way? Why is he moving around that way? You think, You think, I would never do it like that. I would never do it like that.

If you're an a.n.a.lytical person, there is a lot of data surfing on those brain waves. You can't necessarily stop that general way of thinking. It's the way G.o.d made you. The problems come when you choose to dwell upon your observations-when you can't set them aside.

You might ask, ”But how can I help a person if I don't dwell upon what they are doing?” Great question. That's why I added that last part to the definition: with no view to their good with no view to their good. It's not criticism to dwell upon a fault you observe in someone, provided: 1) you're gonna pray about it, and/or, 2) you pursue a solution. You have to dwell on the problem to pray about it, don't you? If you observe a brother or sister who is struggling in a certain area, it's not a negative, critical att.i.tude if you begin to pray for them and ask G.o.d to help them. Also, if you know them personally, it's not a critical att.i.tude to focus long enough to decide, ”You know, I'm going to try to help her. I'm going to go to her and I'm going to talk to her.”

SHOULD YOU TALK WITH SOMEONE ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE?.

When teaching about criticism, someone will inevitably ask, ”What about talking to a third party about a person's fault? If I see something that's wrong in my friend's life, would it be wrong for me to talk to another friend about what I observed? Is that a critical conversation?” Not necessarily. It's only wrong if my intention is not to help the friend in whom I observe the fault. It's only wrong if my intention is not to help the friend in whom I observe the fault. It's not a critical conversation when the goal is trying to help. It's not a critical conversation when the goal is trying to help.

Has this ever happened to you? You want to help somebody, but you wonder, ”Am I crazy? Am I just imagining something wrong here?” You feel like you want to go to someone else for some counsel. That's not wrong, provided the reason you're talking to the third party is to do a better better job of going to the person you want to help. You say, ”That's kind of sticky.” Yes it is! Here's how you keep from getting stuck. When you go to Sue about Sally, if you can't stop at the end of your conversation about Sue and say, ”Now let's just stop for a moment and pray about this situation, because I really want to help Sally,” you've got a problem. If you are not clear about your motives in sharing the situation with a third party, then you're probably practicing gossip and not a genuine, helpful spirit. job of going to the person you want to help. You say, ”That's kind of sticky.” Yes it is! Here's how you keep from getting stuck. When you go to Sue about Sally, if you can't stop at the end of your conversation about Sue and say, ”Now let's just stop for a moment and pray about this situation, because I really want to help Sally,” you've got a problem. If you are not clear about your motives in sharing the situation with a third party, then you're probably practicing gossip and not a genuine, helpful spirit.

By pulling all of those factors together, we should have a clear picture of the difference between constructive criticism and a destructive att.i.tude. A critical att.i.tude is a choice to dwell upon the perceived faults of another with no view to their good.

MEANWHILE, BACK IN THE WILDERNESS ...