Part 7 (1/2)

a.s.sume Everyone Is Intelligent Ask any woman how she feels about going on a second date with a guy who went on and on about himself and then acted in a rude manner with the waiter. A managing director told me she talks with her front-office staff after interviewing a consultant/job seeker. She trusts her staff to inform her how you acted around people you didn't think were worthy of your courtesy. That's indicative of how you will ”fit” into her company. Who do you consider beneath you?

Have a Pa.s.sion for What You Do I have divorced friends who have a habit of making unkind comments about their ex and about marriage in general. ”All women are after my money.” ”Men are such pigs.” Then they ask me to keep an eye out for any dating opportunities. I am honestly reluctant to do this. Dumped from your last job? Worked for a psychotic boss? Feeling sorry for how your life has turned out? Find a good friend (or a counselor) to discuss your troubles. But don't don't use your next date or your next job interview to moan and vent. use your next date or your next job interview to moan and vent.

Get Over Yourself Pastor Joe Palusak is an extraordinary guy I met 7 years ago. Joe ministered to the needs of police and firefighters at the World Trade Center after 9/11. He shared with me a sentence that I have said aloud each week since then: ”You would care less what other people thought about you if you knew how little time they spent thinking about you.” Write this down and keep it on your desk.

In job seeking and date seeking, the days seem like weeks and the weeks seem like months. You start to think, ”She didn't return my call because of something I did,” or ”They didn't like my resume and that's why they're not calling.” Don't give up because one person or one company doesn't get back to you right away. Until I hear a client say, ”No, we don't need you this year,” I always a.s.sume they are busy doing other things (and it's not about me).

You've got too much time on your hands. Get over yourself. Keep busy, keep the pipeline filled, volunteer at a school or immigrant-a.s.sistance program and put your experience and knowledge into helping others. Join a Toastmasters group and meet amazing and motivated people. (). How would you answer this question on your next date/job interview? ”So, you got divorced 2 years ago, what have you been doing since then?”

One Last Thing Start asking couples how they met. Start asking employees how they got their job. You'll find a lot of similarities. Opportunities are around us every day. Treat job hunting like looking for a date. Make other people look good and they'll send leads your way. Then tuck your new business card inside your wedding invitation.

Dave Howlett is founder and managing director of pany culture. He can be reached at

HOW TO STAY MOTIVATED

Everyone acknowledges that rejection is a fact of life when you are job hunting. It pushes all the wrong b.u.t.tons-not once-but sometimes hundreds of times. What is even worse than the rejection letters is dead silence-the lack of acknowledgment that you even exist. The fundamental truth of job hunting is that it's not pleasant. It is all about being rejected and ignored. Eventually the stress gets to everyone. You can lessen the sting and develop that critical can-do att.i.tude by taking the following 4 empowering steps.

Step 1: Take Charge of Your Job Hunt

Only you know your strengths and weaknesses. Only you know what you really enjoy doing. Only you know where you want to work and why. Only you know how you can help a prospective employer. Only you can articulate your interests and strengths in a cover letter and resume. Don't let anyone else do your resume or your cover letter. You need to do it yourself. You can ask people to review it but it must come from you-even if you are receiving outplacement counseling. Come interview time, you need to mirror the person you have portrayed on paper or you will strike out. You can sell yourself better if you own every word on the page.

Step 2: Adopt a Tough Mindset

Surround yourself with positive people. Get rid of anyone who sympathizes with your plight and is eager to commiserate. You do not need sympathy. You need support, and there is a huge difference. Supportive, helpful, optimistic family, friends, and reputable professionals remind you of your strengths and give needed encouragement and feedback. Sympathizers zap your energy and self-esteem. Staying inspired requires the input of inspiring people, so find a trusted confidante who can help you polish your presentation, provide moral support, and strategize.

Step 3: Stay Focused

You need to feed your opportunity funnel in the same way that sales-persons feed their sales funnel: so many leads, so many calls, so many interviews. Like a good salesperson, you need to track and record your efforts. You must keep a record to show yourself that you are making progress. If you can visually see progress, you will have an extra incentive to keep at it. If you've completed 10 calls today, then record it. If you have sent out a batch of networking letters, note that, too. I encourage my friends to chart their accomplishments on the wall as I do because ”seeing is believing.” Note how many interviews you've scheduled, calls you've made, callbacks you've noted, and research you've completed. It is critical to be able to view your job-hunting funnel to ensure you have adequate leads to provide a steady supply of interviews.

Step 4: Think Positive

As Henry Ford once said, ”Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't, you're right.” It is important for you to believe you'll succeed. You must convince yourself, through your own self-talk, that you are successful. Write out positive affirmations about your job-hunting skills such as the following: * I interview well.* I come across with confidence in interviews.* I find the perfect positions that use and grow all my talents.

Keep your statements in the present, not the future tense. Read your list every day. Post it at eye level as a subliminal motivator. You can be your own worst enemy or your biggest fan. Give yourself credit for what you've completed and don't beat yourself up over what you haven't yet accomplished. Work at a steady pace with your end goal in mind. Your new job, and the burst of self-esteem that comes with it, will be worth all the effort. I'm not kidding. Start doing this right now.

GUERRILLA TIPS.

* Regard every ”no” as a ”not today” and a step closer to ”yes.” Regard every ”no” as a ”not today” and a step closer to ”yes.” This book explains how to repackage and repitch yourself until the persuasion works. This book explains how to repackage and repitch yourself until the persuasion works.* Monitor your self-talk. Monitor your self-talk. Only you have the power to change your att.i.tude and your perspective. Keep a vigilant eye out for negative self-talk. Notice what you are saying to yourself as you move through your search. Your mental dialogue can boost your esteem or drag you down. Only you have the power to change your att.i.tude and your perspective. Keep a vigilant eye out for negative self-talk. Notice what you are saying to yourself as you move through your search. Your mental dialogue can boost your esteem or drag you down.* Measure yourself by your own standards. Measure yourself by your own standards. Avoid comparing yourself with others. People aren't going to tell you things are tough in their lives. When you ask how they are doing, they usually will say, ”Great, never better,” which will make you feel like c.r.a.p. That's just their game face; they are not doing any better than you are. You are the only person you need to please. If you stick with your plan, you will achieve success. Avoid comparing yourself with others. People aren't going to tell you things are tough in their lives. When you ask how they are doing, they usually will say, ”Great, never better,” which will make you feel like c.r.a.p. That's just their game face; they are not doing any better than you are. You are the only person you need to please. If you stick with your plan, you will achieve success.* When someone suggests you try something new-do it. When someone suggests you try something new-do it. Guerrillas aren't afraid to try new things and fail. I recently had a woman tell me that none of my ideas would work, although she hadn't tried even one of the 50 suggestions I gave her-which might explain why she has been unemployed for 2 years. Guerrillas aren't afraid to try new things and fail. I recently had a woman tell me that none of my ideas would work, although she hadn't tried even one of the 50 suggestions I gave her-which might explain why she has been unemployed for 2 years.* Stay healthy. Stay healthy. Get enough sleep, eat well, and exercise. A brisk walk at noon will burn off the ”blues” and ward off the flu. See your doctor if you are always sad. If it is wintertime, you may not be getting enough sunlight. Get enough sleep, eat well, and exercise. A brisk walk at noon will burn off the ”blues” and ward off the flu. See your doctor if you are always sad. If it is wintertime, you may not be getting enough sunlight.* Be social. Be social. Get out and see your friends and don't talk about your job hunt all the time, but do let people feed you leads and encourage you. Get out and see your friends and don't talk about your job hunt all the time, but do let people feed you leads and encourage you.

GUERRILLA INTELLIGENCE.