Part 63 (1/2)
”That's the worst. But there have been other little symptoms--little warning notes which all mean the same thing. Yesterday I went into the bank, to get some money. As I began to fill in the cheque Conscience whispered to me, 'That's the third five pounds you've had out this week.'”
”Well, of all the impertinence--What did you do?”
”Made it ten pounds, of course. But there you are; you see what's happening. This morning I answered a letter by return of post. And did you notice what occurred only just now at tea?”
”Of course I did,” said Miss Middleton indignantly. ”You ate all the m.u.f.fins.”
”No, I don't mean that at all. What I mean is that I only had three lumps of sugar in each cup. I actually stopped you when you were putting the fourth lump in. Oh yes,” I said bitterly, ”I am getting on.”
Miss Middleton poked the fire vigorously.
”About the lunges,” she said.
”Ten to the east, ten to the west, ten to the nor'-nor'-east, ten to-”
”Yes. Well, I should have thought that that was just the thing to keep you young.”
”It is. That's the tragedy of it. I used to BE young; now I KEEP young. And I used to say, 'I'll insure my life SOME day'; but now I think about doing it to-day. When once you stop saying 'some day'
you're getting old, you know.”
”Some day,” said Miss Middleton, ”you must tell me all about the Crimea. Not now,” she went on quickly, ”because you're going to do something very silly in a moment, if I can think of it--something to convince yourself that you are still quite young.”
”Yes, do let me. I really think it would do me good.”
”Well, what can you do?”
”Can I break anything?” I asked, looking round the room.
”I really don't think you must. Mother's very silly about things like that. I'm SO sorry; father and I would love it, of course.”
”Can I go into the kitchen and frighten the cook?”
Miss Middleton sighed mournfully.
”ISN'T it a shame,” she said, ”that mothers object to all the really nice things?”
”Mrs Middleton is a little difficult to please. I shall give up trying directly. What about blacking my face and calling on the Vicar for a subscription?”
”I should laugh in church on Sunday thinking of it. I always do.”
I lit another cigarette and smoked it thoughtfully.
”I have a brilliant idea,” I said at last.
”Something really silly?”
”Something preposterously foolish. It seems to me just now the most idiotic thing I could possibly do.”
”Tell me!” beseeched Miss Middleton, clasping her hands.
”I shall,” I said, gurgling with laughter, ”insure my life.”