Part 4 (1/2)
”I dare not marry him and leave those letters in your hands.”
”Why not? You have trusted me with more than your letters.”
The brutality of the remark was emphasised by the harshness of his tone. But she replied, quietly--
”And you taunt me with my trust! Surely that is reason enough.”
”You are afraid that I shall use them!”
”I don't know. I only know that if you keep them, I may be his wife, but you will be my master; and I dare not face that.”
The explanation appeased Hawke. It warmed his vanity and disposed him to reward so clear an appreciation of his power. Only the reward she asked was nothing less than the renunciation of that power. He paused over that.
”Tell me,” Kate continued, ”why did you force me to come here?”
”I am not sure,” he replied, musingly. ”Perhaps I wanted to see you again.”
”No! That was not why. You would have come to me yourself, if that had been the cause.”
”What was the reason, then?” Hawke smiled indulgently. This scrutiny of his intentions added to his satisfaction. It lifted him in his self-esteem, attributed to him an unusual personality. For, as a rule, people find the twenty-four hours barely long enough to discover what their neighbours do, and so are compelled to leave their thoughts and aims alone. Hawke loomed larger on his own horizon, the more particularly because the a.n.a.lyst was a young woman and well-favoured.
”What was the reason?”
”Just my marriage. You felt that I was slipping out of your grasp--escaping you. I know you so well.”
”But it's almost a year since I have seen you. I have left you alone during all that time. So, even if I had possessed any power, you can't urge that I have used it.”
”No! But because you possessed it,” Kate insisted. ”Because you were certain you possessed it; and so you were content to let things lie.
Now, however, everything was changing. I was escaping you; and you made me come here at night, across that horrible lonely pa.s.s, just to a.s.sert your mastery over me--just to convince yourself it was real.
Don't you see? I dare not go back and leave those letters with you.”
Hawke wavered. If he gave her what she wished, she would escape him, as she had said. She would pa.s.s clean beyond his reach. She would have no fear of him--no strong feeling of any kind.
”Suppose that I give you your way,” he said, hesitatingly; ”what is going to happen between you and me?”
The unexpected question scared the girl, and she answered, catching her breath--
”Everything was over between us--ages ago, it seems to me. You have not seen me for a year. You said so yourself.”
”Yes! I know,” he replied, slowly, and Kate felt that he was watching her keenly. ”But now that I do see you again, it is like meeting you for the first time without the trouble of having to make friends.”
Kate half rose to her feet, with a slight cry.
”Don't get up!” Hawke exclaimed, and he smoothed her hair caressingly with his hand. ”You look so pretty like that.”
She clenched her nails in her palms. Her whole nature rose against the man. The mere touch of his fingers turned her sick. At last, however, she forced herself to meet his gaze. She saw that he was going to speak, and began first, coaxing him, while a deadly humiliation set her cheeks ablaze.
”Friends? Yes! We might be friends. Only give me the letters, and I will think of you as a friend!”