Part 17 (1/2)
”You studied medicine?”
Noel nodded before swallowing. ”For two years. Then I got interested in experimental chemistry, pharmac.o.kinetics, pharmacodynamics, that kind of thing. I guess because of my dad.”
”Did you graduate?” She watched Noel shake his head, his mouth full again. Has he eaten in the last week? ”It wasn't up your alley?”
Noel swallowed, broke the yolk on his second egg with his fork. ”No, I liked it, I found it quite easy. It's just memorisation, really. And as for lectures and interacting with my fellow students and stuff, I'd learn to control my ... You see, I didn't start university until I was in my late twenties, and by that time I'd learned to control, more or less, my problems. Inside my head. But I ... you know, had other problems.”
”Such as?”
”Well ... Mom started having her her problems, the ones inside problems, the ones inside her her head, and I couldn't really do both, deal with both. So I quit school and moved in with her. I have no regrets, mind you-none whatsoever. It was no great sacrifice. I wouldn't have made much of a doctor anyway. Or pharmacologist or neuropathologist or whatever.” head, and I couldn't really do both, deal with both. So I quit school and moved in with her. I have no regrets, mind you-none whatsoever. It was no great sacrifice. I wouldn't have made much of a doctor anyway. Or pharmacologist or neuropathologist or whatever.”
”I think you would have. It's never too late.”
Noel took a sip of his Scottish Breakfast Tea. He was feeling better than he had in months. And the words, uncharacteristically, flowed. ”My father always wanted me to be one. A writer or doctor or preferably both. He liked to remind me how many great writers were also doctors, or were first drawn to medicine. He had great respect for people like that, and for the Renaissance ideal of excelling at both science and art.”
”Which authors were drawn to medicine?”
”Maugham, Chekhov, Joyce, Keats, Smollett, Goldsmith, Celine, Hoffmann, Duhamel, Campion ... I could go on and on.”
Samira laughed. ”Do. I'm curious.”
”Oliver Wendell Holmes, A.J. Cronin, Arthur Schnitzler, Aldous Huxley, Ethan Canin,Walter Percy, Robert Bridges, Leonid Tsypkin, Sihan Seyhi, Neree Beauchemin, Moacyr Scliar, John McCrae, Josephine Bell, James Bridie, Fernando Namora, Alfred Doblin, Georg Buchner, C. Louis Leipoldt, Heinrich Stilling, Lenrie Peters, Guimares Rosa, Yusuf Idris, Dannie Abse, Hans Carossa, Francesco Redi, F.R. Kreutzwald, Jacques Grevin, Enrique Gonzalez Martinez, Saul Tchernichowsky, Justinus Kerner, Gottfried Benn, T'ao Hung-ching, Firishtah, Nahmanides, Nicander, Empedocles and scores of other Greeks and Romans ... The list goes on and on.”
Samira burst out laughing. ”You forgot an Iraqi.”
”Mazloom?”
”Very good.”
”My father always regretted not being among them, so I suppose that's why he encouraged me to try.”
”Norval mentioned that your father ... died when you were young?”
”Yeah, he drowned himself when I was nine.” When I was 3,639 days old, Noel nearly specified. ”I've often thought of doing the same.”
Just like Norval! ”You're not serious, are you?”
”Yes.”
”So what's stopped you?”
”My mother.”
”Thank G.o.d for mothers. So do you know what your father ... what prompted him or ...”
Noel's features, until now stoical, revealed pain. ”It's a mystery. A dark curtain that falls from nowhere. I sometimes get it myself. I don't think I'll ever understand it, not entirely. All I know is that he used to have these heavy, oppressive dark periods. 'The black dragon paying me a visit,' he once said. Sometimes for days on end he'd hole up in his office in the bas.e.m.e.nt. But the curtain would always lift, the dragon would move on ...31 Sometimes I think that being a gifted scientist wasn't enough for him, that he wanted other things, more spiritual things. He wanted to be a gifted artist as much as a gifted scientist. A Leonardo or Raleigh or Primo Levi. He wanted so badly-and failed so badly in his view-to be a Renaissance man.” Sometimes I think that being a gifted scientist wasn't enough for him, that he wanted other things, more spiritual things. He wanted to be a gifted artist as much as a gifted scientist. A Leonardo or Raleigh or Primo Levi. He wanted so badly-and failed so badly in his view-to be a Renaissance man.”
”Didn't Levi commit suicide too?”
”Yes.”
Noel became conscious that Samira was staring at him. She was sitting at the foot of the bed, her tilted head against the wall, watching him through half-closed eyes, like a painter looking at a canvas. He wanted to reach out and touch her black hair, blacker than the raven wings of midnight, as Poe would say.
There's a suggestion of Norval in his face, Samira thought, but it's like a bronze sculpture copied in wood, or a melody sung slightly out of key ... How cruel, she thought, to think like that. It would be so much better, in fact, to be in love with him, not Norval. So much easier. ”Does it bother you when people say you look like Norval?”
Noel sighed. ”I used to be sensitive about it. It was always that I looked like him, of course, that I was a pale imitation of him-which is only natural, I suppose, since he was the famous one, the more attractive one ...”
”What does your mother say about the resemblance? Doesn't she think he could almost be her son?”
Noel slowly emptied his cup of tea. ”She's never met him.”
”No? Why not?”
Noel paused, examining the faint rings inside his tea-stained mug. ”Sometimes I wonder if, subconsciously, I didn't want her to see a betterlooking version of me. Or if I didn't want to share her with him. But I don't think that's it entirely. I suppose I didn't want him to make fun of the way my mother and I got along, our intimacy, the fact that we're each other's best friend.”
”Why would he make fun of that?”
”Because he despises his mother. Unnaturally, psychotically. He'd never understand our closeness, and besides, I just didn't want to explain ... you know, everything, her illness. I kept putting it off, in any case.”
”Putting off introducing them?”
”Yeah. For some reason I didn't want him to see all that. He's come over a few times-but I just couldn't open the door.”
Samira remained silent as Noel finished his last crumpet, her gaze resting on various objects in the room.
As in Norval's loft, the walls were covered with peculiar images. There was Kandinsky's Blauer Ritter Blauer Ritter, Hockney's ill.u.s.trations for Six Fairy Tales of the Brothers Grimm Six Fairy Tales of the Brothers Grimm, a sepia image of Solomon Shereshevski,32 a multicoloured drawing of Iris, the rainbow G.o.ddess, and a large poster of the Nine Muses, with their names and domains written beneath them: CALLIOPE, Muse of Epic Poetry (holding a writing tablet); CLIO, Muse of History (holding a water clock); ERATO, Muse of Lyric and Love Poetry (playing a lyre); EUTERPE, Muse of Music (playing a flute); MELPOMENE, Muse of Tragedy (wearing a tragic mask); POLYMNIA, Muse of Sacred Poetry (a pensive look on her face); TERPSICh.o.r.e, Muse of Dancing and Choral Song (dancing and holding a lyre); THALIA, Muse of Comedy (wearing a comic mask); URANIA, Muse of Astronomy (holding a globe). a multicoloured drawing of Iris, the rainbow G.o.ddess, and a large poster of the Nine Muses, with their names and domains written beneath them: CALLIOPE, Muse of Epic Poetry (holding a writing tablet); CLIO, Muse of History (holding a water clock); ERATO, Muse of Lyric and Love Poetry (playing a lyre); EUTERPE, Muse of Music (playing a flute); MELPOMENE, Muse of Tragedy (wearing a tragic mask); POLYMNIA, Muse of Sacred Poetry (a pensive look on her face); TERPSICh.o.r.e, Muse of Dancing and Choral Song (dancing and holding a lyre); THALIA, Muse of Comedy (wearing a comic mask); URANIA, Muse of Astronomy (holding a globe).
Samira sat with her legs ajar, her black skirt draped between them as she examined each figure in wordless absorption. In the frame of an oval mirror, she then spotted a wedding picture, presumably of Noel's parents, as well as a Polaroid of Norval, with longer hair, standing regally before the red curtain of a theatre. Her heart trampolined. ”Norval looks like a decadent prince in that photo,” she said trying to hide a tremor in her voice. ”He's not an aristocrat or something, is he? He certainly acts the part.”
”Yes, a certain majesty is a.s.sumed.” Noel set the silver platter on the floor. ”But in fact he does have some blue blood in him. The de Blaquieres were minor and poverty-stricken Norman n.o.bility who arrived in Quebec in the eighteenth century. A violent, dissolute and pathologically irascible bunch-at least, so he tells me.”
”But he was born in France.”
”His father studied in France in the sixties, where he met his wife, returned to Quebec, then eventually became head of an engineering firm in Paris.”
”And his mother? What's she like? Have you met her?”
”No. In Norval's words, she's a vulgar, nether-cla.s.s banlieusarde banlieusarde, given to hysteria and lovers. Which he's never forgiven her for-that and the fact that she spends most of her time at a nudist resort and votes for Le Pen.”
”But that's not enough to hate hate her, surely?” her, surely?”
”She cheated on his father when Norval was a little boy. So he feels betrayed, neglected-especially when a parade of men, one after the other, began to fill up the house.”
Samira nodded, bit her lip, began to think of something else. Dissolute, pathologically violent Dissolute, pathologically violent? Is that what he said? Which may explain ... She watched the beside clock blink greenly from 8:59 to 9:00. ”Do you know what 'K' is?”
”K?”
”I found a vial of it ... somewhere, and I want to know what it is. Could it be pota.s.sium? It's a white powder.”
”Well, pota.s.sium is silver-white. But it's explosively reactive-it oxidises when exposed to air and reacts violently with water, so it's always stored under a liquid that it doesn't ... you know, react with. What kind of vial was it in?”