Part 13 (1/2)
Noel remained silent, wondering if this was more joke therapy.
”I've been racking my brains,” JJ continued, scratching his copper hair with the nutcracker. ”I still can't figure out who would've done it. Did you hear Nor's theory?”
”Yeah.”
”He said it was the Head of Women's Studies, who was out to get him.”
”I think that was a joke.”
”Oh.”
”You're sure you've got no enemies?”
JJ paused to reflect for three or four seconds, which for him was a lot. ”Well, the cemetery's been trying to get rid of me for years. But they've got lawyers working on that. Arson's hardly their style.”
”You don't think it was bikers?”
JJ slurped his camomile tea. ”It's possible, I guess.”
”Is that why you wouldn't let us call the police? Or fire department?”
”Well, I've got a few electrical ... illegalities, and some stuff the cops would ha.s.sle me about, even though it's legal. Which reminds me-I lost some of my best kits in the fire. And flood. Along with my journal for Dr. Vorta.”
Noel's photographic memory conjured up scores of red magic-marker letters scrawled like hieroglyphs on the boxes. ”So what else went up in smoke? What were those flashes and strange smells from the bathroom? What was that from?”
”Cheese.”
”Cheese? You keep cheese in your bathroom?”
”Cheese powder, which explodes in those aluminum packets. I had a carton of Kraft Dinner. Six dozen boxes. E-bay auction. Got a wicked deal. Ten cents a box.”
Noel was trying to hide a smile, but when JJ began to giggle, Noel exploded, laughing for longer than he had in months.
”They should put a flammable warning on that stuff,” said JJ.
”You lose anything else? I mean, more valuable than macaroni and cheese?”
”My journal. Did I mention that? I used to keep it right beside the toilet, where I do my best thinking. Oh well. Thanks again, by the way, for rescuing my letters-and my sc.r.a.pbook. You're a hero. I don't know how you remembered where they were. They would've gone up for sure.”
”Could it have been a prank of some sort? I mean, kids are always hanging out there at night. Vandalising, desecrating tombs.”
JJ pointed to an object on the floor. ”I doubt it-that thing looks pretty serious. A customised device. What did you say it was?”
”Formulated mercury, at least in one of them.” Noel picked up one of the two arson weapons, a 37 mm Ferret barricade-penetrating projectile. ”It's a tear gas sh.e.l.l that was altered, filled with some flammable liquid, I'm not sure what. I'll find out tomorrow.” With a kitchen knife he began prying open the other device, a film canister, which for some reason had not gone off. Inside was a half-sheet of paper smudged with black: puter, her memory's there somewhere-it never disappears, you just need a good technician to restore the data. Unerase, undelete.”
Noel nodded bleakly. ”I hope you're right.”
”It might be too late for a whole new cerebral hard drive, but you're never too old for a simple upgrade.” JJ took a Kleenex from his pocket, then a wad of gum from his mouth, put one inside the other. ”So you two are quite a pair. How ironic, eh?”
”The irony, I a.s.sure you-”
”Your mom's overdrawn at the memory bank, while you're a millionaire.”
Noel winced at the metaphor.
”So you've got to find a way,” JJ extended, ”of transferring some of your capital.”
Noel sighed. ”I had the same idea.”
”I've got a terrible memory. A memory like a ... What's the expression again?”
”Like a sieve? Or goldfish?”
”Yeah, like a sieve.”
Mine's like a hermetically sealed jar, thought Noel, a radioactive-waste container.
JJ slurped down the last of his tea. ”A guy goes to a doctor. 'I think I'm losing my short-term memory,' he says. 'Really?' says the doctor. 'Just how long have you had this problem?' The guy looks at the doctor. 'What problem?'”
”Right, I've heard-”
”I've got a memory like a sieve, you've got a memory like an elephant.”
”Well ... I think that's a myth. Elephants don't really have great memories.”
”They don't? You sure? Which animal has the best memory?”
”The sea lion. It seems they never forget.”28 JJ paused, recalling the time he went to MarineLand in Niagara Falls with his parents, when he burst into tears while watching a sea lion balance a ball on its nose. His mother thought he was frightened and tried to pull him away by the hand, which made him resist and wail even louder, hysterically. But it had nothing to do with fright; it was simply too much beauty to bear, too much joy, and something had to give. ”It's not Alzheimer's, is it Noel? Please don't tell me your mother has Alzheimer's.”
”I'm afraid she does.”
”Oh my G.o.d. I'm so sorry, Noel, I ... That must be so hard-on both of you. To see your mom change before your eyes.”
”Yeah, she ... she's not the same person.”
JJ put his hand to his cheek, like a bad actor. ”Like in Total Recall Total Recall. You remember?”