Part 72 (1/2)
Annja sat down on the ground. ”You think your life is tough, Jenny? You should try seeing things from my side of the coin. I don't have any family. I don't have many close friends aside from folks like you.”
”Yeah, but you've got a career in television. That's got to count for something. Lots of fans and all that.”
”I don't have many fans. The coanchor on that show gets more fan mail in a day than I do all year. And it's all because she lost her top once during filming. You think I want to sacrifice my journalistic integrity for some pieces of mail? And yet that's the world we live in these days.”
”You're paid well, at least.”
”Sure. The money's nice. But it doesn't make all the loneliness go away when it's just me alone in my bed at night.” Annja shook her head. ”You think I have the life, don't you? That all of this travel is a great adventure for me.”
”Isn't it?”
”No, it's not. Did you ever wonder why I spend so much of my time traipsing around the world?”
Jenny shrugged. ”It's pretty obvious, isn't it? You love what you do. The quest for relics and all that stuff. It's your obsession.”
”Yeah, it's my obsession.” Annja sighed. ”That's only part of the story, Jenny. The other part is that I am so scared of ever settling down and committing myself to one thing, one person, one ideal, that I run away from anything that even remotely looks as if it could be a solid foundation in my life. And I run right toward danger and anything else that looks as volatile as nitroglycerin.”
”If that's the case, then why did that sword choose you to be its holder and caretaker?”
”Isn't it obvious? It knows I'll never stop running toward the bad guys. That there will always be a chance for me to fight and use it for the powers of good. Of course it chose me. The last thing that sword would ever want was someone with a regular job, a spouse and two kids at home. Can you imagine that? It would never get used.”
”And presumably evil would triumph,” Jenny said.
”That's my guess.”
Jenny shrugged. ”All right, so you've got a c.r.a.ppy life, too. Why don't you change it?”
”Who says I can?”
”I do.”
Annja smiled. ”Yeah, I wish it was that easy. It's not. The same powers that brought this sword to me will make sure that I never have a moment's rest as long as I try to avoid my destiny and that of this sword.”
Jenny sighed. ”I wish I could take it from you.”
”Don't say that. You don't want this thing. I don't even know if I want this thing.”
Jenny lowered the gun. ”I don't want to hurt you, Annja.”
”You don't have to hurt me. But you don't have to take those drugs, either. There's always a better way.”
”Is there? I've heard people tell me that all the time. And I never seem to find it. People say to have faith and yet my faith is never rewarded. I've prayed to every deity I can think of. I've prayed to every ancestor in my family. I don't ask for much. Just a little bit. And yet, time after time, there's no help from beyond. No help from those who are supposed to have the power to help us.”
”I know what you mean.”
Jenny frowned. ”And then every day I hear stories of people who are bad, unjust or evil who are living a great life. Criminals with more money than G.o.d. Women falling all over themselves to be with them. Even law-abiding people who are frugal, cheap b.a.s.t.a.r.ds and would never give a dime to charity. Even they have the life.”
Annja nodded. She'd seen it enough times to know that Jenny spoke the truth. Her friend took a stuttering breath and then continued.
”So when does it all end, Annja? When do I get the rewards of living an honest, hard-working life? When do I wake up and see that all the struggle has been worth the pain and agony that I've endured? When?”