Part 14 (2/2)
The girls giggled.
”He kind of looks like Ross from Friends Friends,” Dylan said.
”Ithinkit'smorelikeSandraBullock,” Carrie said.
Everyone cracked up.
”Okay, focus.” Ma.s.sie clapped her hands, then proceeded to give them the same lesson Claire had given her. She taught them to wait for the moment that didn't need words, to inch in, and to close their eyes like they were being controlled by a switch. Everyone pa.s.sed Doose around and did their best despite the wiry whiskers around his lips.
”Very nicely done,” Ma.s.sie congratulated them.
”Now that our lips are on his, what do we do?” Livvy sc.r.a.ped the gloss off her lips with her teeth, then reapplied more.
”Well that's up to you,” Ma.s.sie said. She was very impressed by how well this was going. They were definitely looking to her for the answers, and she had them. ”This is where you have to decide if you want to keep it a closed-mouther, which is fine, or if you want to take it to the next level and go for tongue.” Ma.s.sie avoided Claire's eyes. It was one thing to fake like you had experience but it was another to do it in front of someone who knew knew you didn't. It was like openly cheating on a test while the teacher was looking. you didn't. It was like openly cheating on a test while the teacher was looking.
”Tongue.” Olivia beamed. ”Teach us about that.”
”Ew.” Livvy winced. ”Can you end up with food in your mouth?”
”Only if you're kissing Alexandra,” Ma.s.sie joked.
Everyone laughed while Alexandra ran her fingernail across her braces. Her face was bright red.
”When using tongue,” Ma.s.sie became serious again, ”it's important to keep it relaxed. No guy wants a stiff, pointy tongue poking around the inside of his mouth. You have to soften it and follow your partner's lead.” Ma.s.sie made a mental note to write author William Cane a thank you e-mail when she got back home. She'd sign Olivia Ryan's name, of course. ”Everyone stick out your tongues,” she insisted. ”Now relax them.”
They did what they were told.
”Ood.” Ma.s.sie responded with her tongue sticking out of her mouth. ”Now move it around ut eep it re-axed.”
Ma.s.sie pulled her tongue in so she could speak clearly. ”Now move it left, center, right, center, left, center, right, center.” She clapped out the beats and they followed perfectly. ”Do your best to avoid the igloo's walls or you'll get stuck.” She gave them a few more minutes to practice, then told them to relax. ”Those of you who want to tongue-kiss should be running these drills at least three times a day.”
Livvy's hand shot up in the air. ”What about those of us who just want to lip kiss?” she asked shyly.
”I suggest you put a little Vaseline on a toothbrush and scrub your lips twice a day to keep them supple. Oh, and work on holding your breath. When you're dealing with the closed-mouth variety, you've basically taken an oath not to breathe. If you do, you run the risk of being labeled a dragon, which is just as bad as having a stiff, darting tongue. So practice, practice, practice.”
Carrie raised her hand.
”Yes.” Ma.s.sie pointed to her.
”HowlongdidyoupracticebeforeyoustartedkissingDerrington?”
”Unfortunately, I didn't have that luxury,” Ma.s.sie replied. ”He caught me off guard and I just had to wing it.”
”When exactly did this happen?” Dylan asked. ”Was it at the OCD Tree-lighting Ceremony?”
”No, I bet it was after the tree-tr.i.m.m.i.n.g gala,” Alicia jumped in. ”There was tons of mistletoe around.”
Ma.s.sie looked at Claire and then at the sheepskin rug below her feet. She hadn't prepared for these questions.
”I'd rather hear about the kisses, not the parties.” Claire came to her rescue.
”Me too,” Alexandra agreed.
Ma.s.sie looked at Claire and thanked her with a soft half-smile. Claire gently closed her eyelids to say, ”You're welcome.”
”Did you go straight to tongue, or did you stay closed for a while?” Livvy asked.
”We went straight for the tongue,” Ma.s.sie said. ”Thank Gawd he knew not to poke or dart, or I would have dumped him on the spot.”
”How did you you know?” Livvy asked. know?” Livvy asked.
”I have been studying the art of kissing forever,” Ma.s.sie said. ”I've picked up some pointers from Pa.s.sions Pa.s.sions and and One Life to Live.” One Life to Live.”
”Likewhat?” Carrie asked.
”Like always tilt your head right.”
”But what if you both go right?” Olivia was confused. ”Won't you b.u.mp noses?”
”No, Oh-livia.” Ma.s.sie rolled her eyes. ”His right and your right are opposite if you're facing each other.”
”Right, but what if you're not not?” Olivia looked at the others with a c.o.c.ky grin, like she had just found a big, gaping hole in Ma.s.sie's theory.
Ma.s.sie paused while the others laughed at Olivia's stupidity. Eventually Olivia laughed with them, but it was obvious from the flat expression behind her eyes that she had no idea why.
The drops of water started coming down a little faster now, and the girls were getting distracted. They'd have to pat their heads dry before their hair frizzed and their mascara ran.
”What'sgoingon?” Carrie asked.
”It's getting hot in herrrrrre,” Alexandra sang.
Suddenly everyone broke into Nelly's old hit.
”Shhhh,” Ma.s.sie hissed. ”We'll get busted.”
”Ehmagawd.” Alicia lifted her gray cashmere Ralph Lauren coat over her head. ”It's pouring on me.”
A steady stream of water was falling on Alicia's head.
”Turn off the heaters,” Dylan yelled. ”They're melting the igloo.”
”And blow out the candles,” Claire added.
Streams of water were pouring down all around them.
”Ehmagawd,” Ma.s.sie shouted. ”Abort, abort!” She blew out her candles. ”Everyone grab a beanbag and a rug and get out!”
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