Part 24 (1/2)

”There's nothing that could make you even start to believe, huh?”

”It's like something out of a comic book. I think we landed on the moon. I don't think Kennedy was killed by the Mafia. I don't believe little green men buzz the planet and borrow some of us for experiments. I think there's a rational explanation for why s.h.i.+ps and planes disappear over the Bermuda Triangle. And sorry, I don't believe in a nine-hundred-pound book that has recorded the past, present, and future of every soul on earth.” Sorry, Jessie. Sorry, Jessie.

”Nice speech.”

”Thanks, I've been practicing.”

Ann turned and climbed higher. She had been practicing. If she could rip the idea of searching for the book out of Cameron's head, she would do it. The whole search for the book brought up her own regrets. Jason was right. Jessie had told her about the book in more detail than she'd ever told Cameron.

How Jessie knew the year and season she would die but nothing specific enough to prevent it.

How Jessie had seen Cameron after she died, standing in silhouette holding another woman and laughing.

How she knew for certain Ann would find her Wesley someday and her Princess Bride Princess Bride poster would come to life. poster would come to life.

All through their teens and early twenties, Ann teased Jessie about believing in a magical book that revealed all these things when she was ten. Ann had done it so frequently Jessie stopped talking about it, even when Ann asked for forgiveness and to hear more of what Jessie had seen.

”The last part is too precious to tell you when I know you don't believe me,” Jessie had said.

”I do believe!” Ann protested.

Jessie smiled. ”No you don't, but I'll still love you when the sun buries itself in the sea forever.”

Jessie was right. Ann didn't believe.

She still didn't.

The Book of Days couldn't be real.

She stretched her leg to its limit to reach a k.n.o.b that jutted out from the wall a quarter inch and pushed herself another two feet up the sheer cliff.

”So, what if it turns out this book exists on Earth? Will you believe in G.o.d then?”

Cameron burst out laughing. ”Welcome to the climb, Ms. Conundrum! You crack me up. Twenty seconds ago you're telling me to pull my head out of my proverbial sandbox, and now you're saying the book could be real.”

”I'm not saying it's real or even could could be real; I'm just asking if it would change what you believe.” Ann reached into her climbing bag for more chalk. ”And I'm finding this intellectual banter helps me climb better.” She swung her right leg up to a ninety-degree angle and shoved her foot into a crack just wide enough for her big toe to slide into. be real; I'm just asking if it would change what you believe.” Ann reached into her climbing bag for more chalk. ”And I'm finding this intellectual banter helps me climb better.” She swung her right leg up to a ninety-degree angle and shoved her foot into a crack just wide enough for her big toe to slide into.

”Nice move,” Cameron said.

”I'm serious. If the book is real, is G.o.d real? Or is life still arbitrary?”

”No, if the book is real, then G.o.d has to be real.”

”So you're like Thomas, wanting to see the nail marks in Jesus' hand before he believed.”

”You're right. I do.”

”His love is an ocean, Cameron. It's so vast you can't take it all in.”

He didn't respond. From the frown on his face it was apparent her question needled him.

Cameron scowled, more at himself than Ann; although he didn't care if she saw it. Talk about going for the soft underbelly. Deep down he'd always envied Jessie's and his dad's faith. It gave them meaning. It gave them purpose. It was probably why Jessie had that inexplicable look of peace on her face when she died.

Part of him had always wanted to believe. Ever since he could remember, his dad had loved him fiercely. The idea that the supreme being of the universe felt the same way about him was almost overpowering. The being that made all the stars in the universe loved him?

But there was no proof. Take it on faith, take it on faith, G.o.d is real. Take it on faith, take it on faith, G.o.d is real. Sorry, faith wasn't enough. Sorry, faith wasn't enough.

If the book was real, he'd get back his memories of Jessie. He might be healed of the rampage taking place in his brain. And it would mean G.o.d and heaven exist, and Cameron would see her and his dad again.

But what if his path ended with a much more realistic outcome? The book being just an idea, a spiritual state of consciousness like all the other religions of the world? What would he do then? Comfort himself with the fact that neither Jessie nor his dad was anything more than dust, just a few years ahead of him?

Deep in his gut he knew the book couldn't be genuine. When would he admit it enough to go home and slowly watch his mind fade into nothingness?

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Ann's weight s.h.i.+ft, and he focused on the small outcropping her left foot now rested on.

Oh no.

”Cameron!”

The crack that started the moment Ann put her full weight on the tiny nub, snapped a second later and she fell. As she careened past him, her weight wrenched him backward and his anchor slipped from its crack in the rock.

He reacted without thought and lunged up to where he could grab a handhold. If he didn't make the jump, Ann's weight would yank him off the tiny ledge his toes were on and they would fall at least thirty feet-if his other anchors held. Thirty feet was enough to badly injure them.

If the anchors failed, the fall could be enough to kill them.

Come on! If he couldn't get a hold before the rope snapped taut... If he couldn't get a hold before the rope snapped taut...

Got it! Yes.

The rope went stiff an instant later and the pressure ripped Cameron's right hand off the ledge. ”Arrrgh!” Pain sliced through the fingers of his left hand like a knife but he held on, then lunged with his hand and caught hold again. ”Ann!”

No answer. Not good. She could have slammed into the wall and been knocked unconscious. He couldn't keep this hold much longer.

”Ann!”

Time slowed to a crawl, the strain on his fingers faded into the background as an epiphany washed over him in a moment brilliant of clarity. In seconds the weight of Ann's body would force his fingers from their cling to life, and slipping off the clothes of mortality would become a distinct possibility.

He would join Jessie at last. It would finally be over, and his question of whether she was waiting for him would be answered.

But in that moment a revelation coursed through him-he didn't want to die. It wasn't time. It wasn't right. Not yet. No matter what was happening inside his brain, he would fight for life.

Time stopped as a feeling appeared as if a ma.s.sive red theater curtain had been drawn back. An emotion he buried at the moment of Jessie's death. Hope.

Hope for life, hope he could feel joy again.

That he could love someone and be loved by someone.

That he could live a life that would make Jessie and his dad proud.

”Ann!”