Part 47 (2/2)
”Don't!” he cried, miserably. ”I didn't think you'd ever find it out.”
”I seem to be the only one who doesn't know all about it.” Myra Nell shuddered.
”I simply couldn't help it,” he told her. ”I'm human and I've been in love for years.”
”But think what people are saying.”
He pa.s.sed a shaking hand over his forehead, which had grown damp. ”One never realizes the outcome of these things until too late. I hoped you'd never discover it. I've done everything I could to conceal it.”
”That's the terrible part--your double life. Don't you know it's wrong, wicked, vile? I can't really believe it of you. Why, you're my own brother! The honor of our name rests upon you. The--the idea that you should fall a victim to the wiles of a low, vulgar--”
Bernie stiffened his back and his colorless eyes flashed.
”Myra Nell, she's nothing like that!” he declared. ”You don't know her.”
”Perhaps. But didn't you think of me?” He nodded his head. ”Didn't you realize it meant my social ruin?” Again he nodded, his mind in a whirl of doubts and fears and furious regrets. ”n.o.body'll care to marry me now. What do you think Lecompte will say?”
”What the devil has Lecompte to do with it? You're engaged to Norvin Blake.”
”Oh, yes, among the others.”
Bernie was too miserable to voice the indignation which such flippancy evoked in him. He merely said:
”Norvin isn't like the others. It's different with him; he compromised you,”
”Yes. It was rather nice of him, but do you think he'll care to continue our engagement after this?”
”Oh, he's known about Felicite for a long time. Most of the fellows know. That's what makes it so hard.”
This intelligence entirely robbed Myra Nell of words; she stared at her half-brother as if trying to realize that the man who had made this shocking admission was he.
”Do you mean to tell me that your friends have known of this disgrace?” she asked at length.
Bernie nodded. ”Of course it seems terrible to you, Myra Nell, for you're innocent and unworldly, and I'm rather a dissipated old chap.
But I'm awfully lonely. The men of my own age are successful and busy and they've all left me behind; the young ones don't find me interesting. You see, I don't know anything, I can't do anything, I'm a failure. n.o.body cares anything about me, except you and Felicite I found a haven in her society; her faith in me is splendid. To her I'm all that's heroic and fine and manly, so when I'm with her I begin to feel that I'm really all she believes, all that I hoped to be once upon a time. She shares my dreams and I allow myself to believe in her beliefs.”
”And yet you must realize that your conduct is shocking?”
”I suppose I do.”
”You must know that you're an utterly immoral person?” He nodded.
”You're my protector, Bernie; you're all I have. I'm a poor motherless girl and I lean upon you. But you must appreciate now that you're quite unfit to act as my guardian.”
The little man wailed his miserable a.s.sent. His half-sister's reproachful eyes distracted him; the mention of her defenseless position before the world touched his sorest feeling. It was almost more than he could stand, He was upon the verge of hysterical breakdown, when her manner suddenly changed.
Her eyes brightened, and, rising swiftly, she flung herself down beside him upon the sofa, where he still sat clutching it as if it were a bucking horse. Then, curling one foot under her, she bent toward him, all eagerness, all impulsiveness. With breathless intensity she inquired:
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