Part 11 (1/2)
”Of course the poor fellow suffers frightfully,” explained Mrs. Effie, ”shut off there away from all he'd been brought up to, but good has come of it, for his presence has simply done wonders for us. Before he came our social life was too awful for words--oh, a _mixture_!
Practically every one in town attended our dances; no one had ever told us any better. The Bohemian set mingled freely with the very oldest families--oh, in a way that would never be tolerated in London society, I'm sure. And everything so crude! Why, I can remember when no one thought of putting doilies under the finger-bowls. No tone to it at all. For years we had no country club, if you can believe that.
And even now, in spite of the efforts of Charles and a few of us, there are still some of the older families that are simply sloppy in their entertaining. And promiscuous. The trouble I've had with the Senator and Cousin Egbert!”
”The Flouds are an old family?” I suggested, wis.h.i.+ng to understand these matters deeply.
”The Flouds,” she answered impressively, ”were living in Red Gap before the spur track was ever run out to the canning factory--and I guess you know what that means!”
”Quite so, Madam,” I suggested; and, indeed, though it puzzled me a bit, it sounded rather tremendous, as meaning with us something like since the battle of Hastings.
”But, as I say, Charles at once gave us a glimpse of the better things. Thanks to him, the Bohemian set and the North Side set are now fairly distinct. The sc.r.a.ps we've had with that Bohemian set! He has a real genius for leaders.h.i.+p, Charles has, but I know he often finds it so discouraging, getting people to know their places. Even his own mother-in-law, Mrs. Lysander John Pettengill--but you'll see to-morrow how impossible she is, poor old soul! I shouldn't talk about her, I really shouldn't. Awfully good heart the poor old dear has, but--well, I don't see why I shouldn't tell you the exact truth in plain words--you'd find it out soon enough. She is simply a confirmed _mixer_. The trial she's been and is to poor Charles! Almost no respect for any of the higher things he stands for--and temper? Well, I've heard her swear at him till you'd have thought it was Jeff Tuttle packing a green cayuse for the first time. Words? Talk about words!
And Cousin Egbert always standing in with her. He's been another awful trial, refusing to play tennis at the country club, or to take up golf, or do any of those smart things, though I got him a beautiful lot of sticks. But no: when he isn't out in the hills, he'd rather sit down in that back room at the Silver Dollar saloon, playing cribbage all day with a lot of drunken loafers. But I'm so hoping that will be changed, now that I've made him see there are better things in life.
Don't you really think he's another man?”
”To an extent, Madam, I dare say,” I replied cautiously.
”It's chiefly what I got you for,” she went on. ”And then, in a general way you will give tone to our establishment. The moment I saw you I knew you could be an influence for good among us. No one there has ever had anything like you. Not even Charles. He's tried to have American valets, but you never can get them to understand their place.
Charles finds them so offensively familiar. They don't seem to realize. But of course you realize.”
I inclined my head in sympathetic understanding.
”I'm looking forward to Charles meeting you. I guess he'll be a little put out at our having you, but there's no harm letting him see I'm to be reckoned with. Naturally his wife, Millie, is more or less mentioned as a social leader, but I never could see that she is really any more prominent than I am. In fact, last year after our Bazaar of All Nations our pictures in costume were in the Spokane paper as 'Red Gap's Rival Society Queens,' and I suppose that's what we are, though we work together pretty well as a rule. Still, I must say, having you puts me a couple of notches ahead of her. Only, for heaven's sake, keep your eye on Cousin Egbert!”
”I shall do my duty, Madam,” I returned, thinking it all rather morbidly interesting, these weird details about their county families.
”I'm sure you will,” she said at parting. ”I feel that we shall do things right this year. Last year the Sunday Spokane paper used to have nearly a column under the heading 'Social Doings of Red Gap's Smart Set.' This year we'll have a good two columns, if I don't miss my guess.”
In the smoking-compartment I found Cousin Egbert staring gloomily into vacancy, as one might say, the reason I knew being that he had vainly pleaded with Mrs. Effie to be allowed to spend this time at their Coney Island, which is a sort of Brighton. He transferred his stare to me, but it lost none of its gloom.
”h.e.l.l begins to pop!” said he.
”Referring to what, sir?” I rejoined with some severity, for I have never held with profanity.
”Referring to Charles Belknap Hyphen Jackson of Boston, Ma.s.s.,” said he, ”the greatest little trouble-maker that ever crossed the hills--with a bracelet on one wrist and a watch on the other and a one-shot eyegla.s.s and a gold cigareet case and key chains, rings, bangles, and jewellery till he'd sink like lead if he ever fell into the crick with all that metal on.”
”You are speaking, sir, about a person who matters enormously,” I rebuked him.
”If I hadn't been afraid of getting arrested I'd have shot him long ago.”
”It's not done, sir,” I said, quite horrified by his rash words.
”It's liable to be,” he insisted. ”I bet Ma Pettengill will go in with me on it any time I give her the word. Say, listen! there's one good mixer.”
”The confirmed Mixer, sir?” For I remembered the term.
”The best ever. Any one can set into her game that's got a stack of chips.” He uttered this with deep feeling, whatever it might exactly mean.
”I can be pushed just so far,” he insisted sullenly. It struck me then that he should perhaps have been kept longer in one of the European capitals. I feared his brief contact with those refining influences had left him less polished than Mrs. Effie seemed to hope. I wondered uneasily if he might not cause her to miss her guess. Yet I saw he was in no mood to be reasoned with, and I retired to my bed which the blackamoor guard had done out. Here I meditated profoundly for some time before I slept.
Morning found our coach shunted to a siding at a backwoods settlement on the borders of an inland sea. The scene was wild beyond description, where quite almost anything might be expected to happen, though I was a bit rea.s.sured by the presence of a number of persons of both s.e.xes who appeared to make little of the dangers by which we were surrounded. I mean to say since they thus took their women into the wilds so freely, I would still be a dead sportsman.