Part 24 (2/2)
”I don't deserve it, sir. Since you left me, I have been thinking of my past life. I dare not tell you how bad I have been.”
”You need not tell me. It is not necessary that you should confess your errors to me. There is One who knows them, and if you are sincerely repentant He will pity and forgive you.”
”I think I should feel better if I told some one of my misdeeds.”
”Perhaps you would; that is for you to judge. I will speak to Mr.
Lowington about you to-night. What shall I say to him?”
”I hardly know. I deserve to be punished. I have done wrong, and am willing to suffer for it.”
The tender-hearted chaplain thought that Shuffles was in a beautiful state of mind, and he desired to have him released at once, that he might converse with him on great themes under more favorable circ.u.mstances; but Shuffles still detained him.
”I'm afraid I have ruined myself on board this s.h.i.+p,” continued Shuffles, persisting in his self-humiliation.
”If you manfully acknowledge your fault, you will be freely and generously forgiven.”
”Mr. Lowington hates me now, after what I have done.”
”O, far from it!” exclaimed the chaplain. ”It will be a greater satisfaction to him than to you to forgive you. You are no longer of the opinion that you were unfairly used in the distribution of the offices, I suppose.”
”Mr. Agneau, I was beside myself when I resisted the princ.i.p.al. I should not have done it if I had been in my right mind.”
”You were very angry.”
”I was--I was not myself.”
”Anger often makes men crazy.”
”You don't understand me, Mr. Agneau.”
”Indeed, I do. You mean that you deluded yourself into the belief that you had been wronged, and that you ought not to obey the orders of your officers, and of the princ.i.p.al. The force that was used made you so angry that you did not know what you were about,” added the sympathizing chaplain.
”In one word, Mr. Agneau, I had been drinking,” said Shuffles, with something like desperation in his manner, as he bent his head, and covered his face with his hands.
”Drinking!” gasped the chaplain, filled with horror at the confession.
”I told you I was worse than you thought I was,” moaned Shuffles.
”Is it possible!”
”It is true, sir; I say it with shame.”
”Are you in the habit of taking intoxicating drinks?” asked the chaplain, confounded beyond measure at this complication of the difficulty.
”I am not in the habit of it, because I can't get liquor all the time.
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