Part 83 (1/2)
”I must speak,” he said hoa.r.s.ely. ”It is not cruelty at a time like this; it is the desire to help, to console, to be near you in distress, Miss Vine--Louise--you--forgive me for saying it--you must have known that for months past I have loved you.”
She looked up at him wistfully, and there was a look of such pain and sorrow in her eyes that he paused, and took the hand which she resigned to him without shrinking, but only to send a thrill of pain through him, for the act was not that of one accepting the offer of his love.
”Yes,” she said after a painful pause, ”I did think that you must care for me.”
”As I do,” he whispered earnestly, ”and is this my excuse for speaking now? No; don't shrink from me. I only ask you to think of me as one whose sole thought is of you, and of how he may help and serve you.”
”You have helped us in every way,” she said sadly.
”I have tried so hard,” he said huskily; ”but everything has seemed little compared to what I wished; and now--it is all I ask: you will let this formal barrier between us be cast away, so that in everything I may be your help and counsellor. Louise, it is no time to talk of love,” he cried earnestly, ”and my wooing is that of a rough, blunt man; and-- don't shrink from me--only tell me that some day, when all this pain and suffering has been softened by time, I may ask you to listen to me; and now that I may go away feeling you believe in my love and sympathy. You will tell me this?”
She softly drew away her hand, giving him a look so full of pity and sorrow that a feeling akin to despair made his heart swell within his breast. He had read of those who resigned the world with all its hopes and pleasures from a feeling that their time was short here, and of death bed farewells, and there was so much of this in Louise's manner that he became stricken and chilled.
It was only by a tremendous effort over self that he was able to summon up the strength to speak; and, in place of the halting, hesitating words of a few minutes before, he now spoke out earnestly and well.
”Forgive me,” he said; and she trembled as she shrank away to cover her eyes with her hand. ”It was folly on my part to speak to you at such a time, but my love is stronger than worldly forms, and though I grieve to have given you pain, I cannot feel sorry that I have spoken the simple, honest truth. You are too sweet and true to deal lightly with a man's frank, earnest love. Forgive me--say good-bye. I am going away patiently--to wait.”
His manner changed as he took her disengaged hand and kissed it tenderly and respectfully.
”I will not ask to see your father to-day. He is, I know, suffering and ill; but tell him from me he has only to send a messenger to bring me here at once. I want to help him in every way. Good-bye.”
”Stop!”
He was half way to the door when that one word arrested him, and with a sense of delicious joy flooding his breast, he turned quickly to listen to the words which would give him a life's happiness. The flash of joy died out as quickly as that of lightning, and in the same way seemed to have the hope that had arisen scathed and dead. For here was no mistaking that look, nor the tone of the voice which spoke what seemed to him the death warrant of his love.
”I could not speak,” she said in a strange low voice full of the pain she suffered. ”I tried to check you, but the words would not come.
What you ask is impossible; I could not promise. It would be cruel to you--unjust, and it would raise hopes that could never be fulfilled.”
”No, no. Don't say that,” he cried appealingly. ”I have been premature. I should have waited patiently.”
”It would have been the same. Mr Leslie, you should not have asked this. You should not have exposed yourself to the pain of a refusal, me to the agony of being forced to speak.”
”I grant much of what you say,” he pleaded. ”Forgive me.”
”Do not misunderstand me,” she continued, after a brave effort to master her emotion. ”After what has pa.s.sed it would be impossible. I have but one duty now: that of devoting myself to my father.”
”You feel this,” he pleaded; ”and you are speaking sincerely; but wait.
Pray say no more--now. There: let me say good-bye.”
”No,” she said sternly; ”you shall not leave me under a misapprehension.
It has been a struggle that has been almost too great; but I have won the strength to speak. No; Mr Leslie, it is impossible.”
”No, Mr Leslie, it is impossible!” The words were like a thin, sharp echo of those spoken by Louise, and they both started and turned, to see that Aunt Marguerite had entered the room, and had not only heard her niece's refusal of Leslie, but gathered the full import of the sentence.
She stood drawn up half way between them and the door, looking very handsome and impressive in her deep mourning; but there was the suggestion of a faint sneering smile upon her lip, and her eyes were half-closed, as with hands crossed over her breast, she seemed to point over her shoulder with her closed black fan.
”Aunt!” exclaimed Louise. ”How could--”
Her strength was spent. She could say no more. Her senses seemed to reel, and with the impression upon her that if she stayed she would swoon away, she hurried from the room, leaving Leslie and the old woman face to face.