Part 36 (1/2)

He looked at her, confusion again returning to his eyes. ”You love me, ja?”

”Yes, ja,” she said.

He grinned at her. His eyes danced. ”Then marry me.”

Her head swam. ”What?”

”Marry me, Skye,” he said.

”Isn't that rus.h.i.+ng things?” she squeaked.

”We've known each other for more than two years. What is rushed about that? We know everything we can about each other, unless we change the things we can tell each other, show each other. The way mates do.”

”Blimey, Holgar. It's just-that's a huge commitment, and we've only had one kiss.”

He tilted his head to the side. ”It's our way.”

Werewolves.

She licked her lips. ”I'm a witch. We do handfasting ceremonies.”

”Is it like marriage?”

”Sort of. Two people promise to stay together as long as love lasts.”

A shadow seemed to pa.s.s across Holgar's face. ”Werewolves mate as long as life lasts.”

She felt like she was in free fall. ”But isn't a relations.h.i.+p about compromise? About giving up things for the other person? So . . . we could promise to try?”

He looked at her with so much sorrow in his eyes that it nearly broke her heart.

”What?” she whispered.

”Skye, loving you, being with you, I'd already be giving up so much.”

”I don't understand.”

”Half of my life, the wolf half, I couldn't share with you. For a werewolf that is huge. The first ceremony, the first kiss, the first everything happens in wolf form. By choosing to be with you, I already give up half of what a werewolf mate expects from their partner.”

”I'm so sorry,” she whispered. ”I didn't think.”

He smiled at her. ”I did,” he said. ”I've thought about this long and hard, even before you went missing. And it would be worth the sacrifice, if that mate were you.”

Skye was nonplussed. ”Holgar, you're asking me to marry you but telling me we can't have a relations.h.i.+p unless I do?”

”Ja.” He gave her a firm nod. ”Mated for life. Would that be so bad?”

His voice was soft, pleading. There was a part of her that responded to it. But she was so young.

But you've lived so much, struggled, seen more than most three times your age, a voice whispered inside her.

But forever?

Forever for one of you might be only a matter of hours.

But it went against all her customs, traditions.

As he will be going against his. Because he loves you.

”I have to think about it,” she said.

And Holgar, wonderful, glorious Holgar, just nodded like it was the most natural thing in the world for her to say.

She stood up, heart still hammering in her chest. She turned and fled out of the room, back up the stairs. She needed fresh air. She needed to think.

Maybe it was because she had chosen so badly in the past that she didn't trust herself to make this decision. But Holgar was different. He was everything she should want in a man, and she did love him. But what if she was wrong? What if there was something deep and dark he was hiding from her?

Not everyone hides things like I do.

Still, she felt like she couldn't breathe. She wished there was someone she could talk to about it. Not Soleil or Lune. They'd be too shocked. And Jenn couldn't even handle her own guy issues; how could she help Skye with hers?

She turned a corner, wiping tears from the corner of her eyes, and nearly collided with Jenn's grandmother.

”Skye, are you okay?” Esther asked, her voice kind.

”No, I'm really not.”

Holgar growled in frustration. That hadn't gone as he would have liked. It had not been his intention to declare himself for Skye so quickly or so forcefully. She had surprised him with her own admission, and he had pushed too hard.

He finished getting dressed and then headed upstairs. He wanted to find her, but he knew he should give her a little time and s.p.a.ce. She was having a problem handling everything that was going on.

”What's wrong, wolfie?” a familiar, mocking voice asked.

”Not now, Jamie,” Holgar said, his voice a low rumble even to his ears. ”Leave me alone.”

”Love to, but the good father has called a meeting. Looks like things are about to start getting lively around here.”

Good. Holgar clenched his fists. He needed to do something while he was giving Skye s.p.a.ce. So he followed Jamie through a maze of corridors until they reached a large room, dimly lit.

He had expected to find a large group there, but it was only Jenn, Noah, and Father Juan waiting for them. A minute later Skye showed up, her eyes puffy. He could still smell the salty tears on her cheeks despite the fact that she'd obviously tried to brush them dry.

He whined deep in his throat, unhappy that she was distressed. And she wasn't the only one. Jenn was also on edge, as was Father Juan. Holgar studied the priest, wondering what was happening.

Father Juan cleared his throat, and they turned to him expectantly.