Part 19 (1/2)
It may have been thus with the girl, for her face deepened as she listened. For the first time for many long days tears welled up into her eyes, and rolled between her fingers unheeded.
”I came through the streets to-night baffled in life,--a mean man that might have been n.o.ble,--all the years wasted that had gone before,--disappointed,--with nothing to hope for but time to work humbly and atone for the wrongs I had done. When I lay yonder, my soul on the coast of eternity, I resolved to atone for every selfish deed.
I had no thought of happiness; G.o.d knows I had no hope of it. I had wronged you most: I could not die with that wrong unforgiven.”
”Unforgiven, Stephen?” she sobbed; ”I forgave it long ago.”
He looked at her a moment, then by some effort choked down the word he would have spoken, and went on with his bitter confession.
”I came through the crowded town, a homeless, solitary man, on the Christmas eve when love comes to every man. If ever I had grown sick for a word or touch from the one soul to whom alone mine was open, I thirsted for it then. The better part of my nature was crushed out, and flung away with you, Margret. I cried for it,--I wanted help to be a better, purer man. I need it now. And so,” he said, with a smile that hurt her more than tears, ”I came to my good angel, to tell her I had sinned and repented, that I had made humble plans for the future, and ask her---- G.o.d knows what I would have asked her then! She had forgotten me,--she had another work to do!”
She wrung her hands with a helpless cry. Holmes went to the window: the dull waste of snow looked to him as hopeless and vague as his own life.
”I have deserved it,” he muttered to himself. ”It is too late to amend.”
Some light touch thrilled his arm.
”Is it too late, Stephen?” whispered a childish voice.
The strong man trembled, looking at the little dark figure standing near him.
”We were both wrong: I have been untrue, selfish. More than you.
Stephen, help me to be a better girl; let us be friends again.”
She went back unconsciously to the old words of their quarrels long ago. He drew back.
”Do not mock me,” he gasped. ”I suffer, Margret. Do not mock me with more courtesy.”
”I do not; let us be friends again.”
She was crying like a penitent child; her face was turned away; love, pure and deep, was in her eyes.
The red fire-light grew stronger; the clock hushed its noisy ticking to hear the story. Holmes's pale lip worked: what was this coming to him?
His breast heaved, a dry heat panted in his veins, his deep eyes flashed fire.
”If my little friend comes to me,” he said, in a smothered voice, ”there is but one place for her,--her soul with my soul, her heart on my heart.”--He opened his arms.--”She must rest her head here. My little friend must be--my wife.”
She looked into the strong, haggard face,--a smile crept out on her own, arch and debonair like that of old time.
”I am tired, Stephen,” she whispered, and softly laid her head down on his breast.
The red fire-light flashed into a glory of crimson through the room, about the two figures standing motionless there,--s.h.i.+mmered down into awe-struck shadow: who heeded it? The old clock ticked away furiously, as if rejoicing that weary days were over for the pet and darling of the house: nothing else broke the silence. Without, the deep night paused, gray, impenetrable. Did it hope that far angel-voices would break its breathless hush, as once on the fields of Judea, to usher in Christmas morn? A hush, in air, and earth, and sky, of waiting hope, of a promised joy. Down there in the farm-window two human hearts had given the joy a name; the hope throbbed into being; the hearts touching each other beat in a slow, full chord of love as pure in G.o.d's eyes as the song the angels sang, and as sure a promise of the Christ that is to come. Forever,--not even death would part them; he knew that, holding her closer, looking down into her face.
What a pale little face it was! Through the intensest heat of his pa.s.sion the sting touched him. Some instinct made her glance up at him, with a keen insight, seeing the morbid gloom that was the man's sin, in his face. She lifted her head from his breast, and when he stooped to touch her lips, shook herself free, laughing carelessly.
Alas, Stephen Holmes! you will have little time for morbid questionings in those years to come: her cheerful work has begun: no more self-devouring reveries: your very pauses of silent content and love will be rare and well-earned. No more tranced raptures for to-night,--let to-morrow bring what it would.
”You do not seem to find your purer self altogether perfect?” she demanded. ”I think the pale skin hurts your artistic eye, or the frozen eyes,--which is it?”
”They have thawed into brilliant fire,--something looks at me half-yielding and half-defiant,--you know that, you vain child! But, Margret, nothing can atone”----
He stopped.
”Yes, stop. That is right, Stephen. Remorse grows maudlin when it goes into words,” laughing again at his astounded look.