Part 17 (2/2)
”Is that the welcome? Why, there are a thousand greetings for this time of love and good words you might have chosen. Besides, I have come back ill and poor,--a beggar perhaps. How do women receive such,--generous women? Is there no etiquette? no hand-shaking? nothing more? remembering that I was once--not indifferent to you.”
He laughed. She stood still and grave as before.
”Why, Margret, I have been down near death since that night.”
He thought her lips grew gray, but she looked up clear and steady.
”I am glad you did not die. Yes, I can say that. As for hand-shaking, my ideas may be peculiar as your own.”
”She measures her words,” he said, as to himself; ”her very eye-light is ruled by decorum; she is a machine, for work. She has swept her child's heart clean of anger and revenge, even scorn for the wretch that sold himself for money. There was nothing else to sweep out, was there?”--bitterly,--”no friends.h.i.+ps, such as weak women nurse and coddle into being,--or love, that they live in, and die for sometimes, in a silly way?”
”Unmanly!”
”No, not unmanly. Margret, let us be serious and calm. It is no time to trifle or wear masks. That has pa.s.sed between us which leaves no room for sham courtesies.”
”There needs none,”--meeting his eye unflinchingly. ”I am ready to meet you and hear your good-bye. Dr. Knowles told me your marriage was near at hand. I knew you would come, Stephen. You did before.”
He winced,--the more that her voice was so clear of pain.
”Why should I come? To show you what sort of a heart I have sold for money? Why, you think you know, little Margret. You can reckon up its deformity, its worthlessness, on your cool fingers. You could tell the serene and gracious lady who is chaffering for it what a bargain she has made,--that there is not in it one spark of manly honour or true love. Don't venture too near it in your coldness and prudence. It has tiger pa.s.sions I will not answer for. Give me your hand, and feel how it pants like a hungry fiend. It will have food, Margret.”
She drew away the hand he grasped, and stood back in the shadow.
”What is it to me?”--in the same measured voice.
Holmes wiped the cold drops from his forehead, a sort of shudder in his powerful frame. He stood a moment looking into the fire, his head dropped on his arm.
”Let it be so,” he said at last, quietly. ”The worn old heart can gnaw on itself a little longer. I have no mind to whimper over pain.”
Something that she saw on the dark sardonic face, as the red gleams lighted it, made her start convulsively, as if she would go to him; then controlling herself, she stood silent. He had not seen the movement,--or, if he saw, did not heed it. He did not care to tame her now. The firelight flashed and darkened, the crackling wood breaking the dead silence of the room.
”It does not matter,” he said, raising his head, laying his arm over his strong chest unconsciously, as if to shut in all complaint. ”I had an idle fancy that it would be good on this Christmas night to bare the secrets hidden in here to you,--to suffer your pure eyes to probe the sorest depths: I thought perhaps they would have a blessing power. It was an idle fancy. What is my want or crime to you?”
The answer came slowly, but it did come.
”Nothing to me.”
She tried to meet the gaunt face looking down on her with its proud sadness,--did meet it at last with her meek eyes.
”No, nothing to you. There is no need that I should stay longer, is there? You made ready to meet me, and have gone through your part well.”
”It is no part. I speak G.o.d's truth to you as I can.”
”I know. There is nothing more for us to say to each other in this world, then, except good-night. Words--polite words--are bitterer than death, sometimes. If ever we happen to meet, that courteous smile on your face will be enough to speak--G.o.d's truth for you. Shall we say good-night now?”
”If you will.”
She drew farther into the shadow, leaning on a chair.
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