Part 22 (1/2)

I understood the appeal of boys like Austin. I'd been in her shoes, and although I had no regrets about my life with Royal, I knew we'd been the exception. Not everyone falls in love forever at sixteen, and not all boys stuck around when a girl got pregnant.

She had dreams, different dreams than I had at her age. She had a future ahead of her and the direction my life took was not the right one for her. It'd destroy her.

And her father.

”Baby, take deep breaths,” I whispered, kneeling in front of him between his knees.

I looked down at his knuckles and shook my head. ”You're bleeding.”

”I know,” he said slowly. ”I didn't hit him. I knew if I hit him, I wouldn't stop. I wanted to-I wanted to f.u.c.k him up.”

”I know,” I sighed. ”Royal, you can't flip out like that. Your relations.h.i.+p with Macy depends on it. She thinks she loves him.”

His eyes were gla.s.sy and red. ”What the f.u.c.k does she know about love? That kid is going to use her up. You've seen him. He could give a s.h.i.+t about her. He was going to f.u.c.k her in his van. I swear, if he f.u.c.king even as much as...” He trailed off and started hyperventilating again.

”Come on, I'm taking you upstairs,” I sighed and knew I'd regret saying the words as soon as they were out of my mouth. ”You should stay here tonight. I don't want you to drive.”

He smirked. ”Maybe I should've put a hole in the wall a week ago.”

I couldn't help but laugh. ”A week ago you would've spent the night in jail, smart a.s.s. Just come in so I can get you cleaned up. You can take a shower while I get the kids to bed.”

He leaned forward without warning and pressed his lips to mine, hard and persistent. I held onto his shoulders and braced myself for the kiss. I wasn't sure if it was the stress, the moment, or what, but it felt right. At that moment, I needed him, too.

I pulled away first, not wanting him to get the wrong idea. I wanted us to stay on track, and we weren't going to communicate if we were distracted by s.e.x.

”I'll see you upstairs.”

I got up, wiped the soot off my knees, and walked to the door.

”I'm sleeping in the guest room, aren't I?” he asked.

”Yup.”

Chapter 15.

The next morning, I found Royal asleep on the couch with Benji scrunched up on his chest, his teddy in his arms. They looked content-a little uncomfortable-but sweet.

I let them be and worked in the garden a bit before everyone woke up. Once I picked Teddy's flowers to take to the cemetery, I went back inside to start some breakfast.

”Is Daddy still here?” Laney asked from behind me.

”Yeah, he's in the family room with your brother.” I sat down next to her at the table, hoping she'd open up to me a little.

”I used to be so jealous of Benji when he was born.” She smiled at the memory. ”He was my Daddy first, and I liked being the baby.”

I patted her knee. ”He loves you all, you know that. I think Benji just needs him a lot right now.”

”No, I know, Mom. They're boys,” she giggled.

”Yeah,” I agreed.

Laney's relations.h.i.+p with Royal was, in my opinion, unique. He related to her on such a special level, something none of us understood. They had very little in common other than their free spirit. They used to go off on their own, exploring, talking, and thinking. She didn't play ball like the other girls; in fact, she disliked sports altogether, but she loved the ocean, and nature in general-something he held dear to his heart. He always felt more alive when he was outdoors.

She was definitely Daddy's girl, though. Even though I'd never say it aloud, she was special to him, his little Laney.

”Mommy,” she said quietly.

”What's up, angel?”

”Do you think you and Daddy will get back together?”

”I love Daddy very much, but we have to learn to be nice to each other again. This is a time-out, like I told you before. We'll work through this, and we'll be even better. That's what I want for all of us.”

Nodding, she looked up at me. ”I noticed you guys don't kiss and stuff as much. You guys are always mad now.”

”It's not because I don't want to kiss Daddy, I think we just forgot how important it is to kiss and hug each other. Just like I never forget to kiss you guys goodnight and in the morning before you go to school, I can't forget how important it is to kiss Daddy, too.”

She smiled. ”I know you guys love each other because my friend's parents aren't like you guys. I sometimes used to get embarra.s.sed when you guys flirt and stuff,” she giggled.

I leaned in and pressed my forehead to hers. ”Daddy thinks it's funny to tease you guys. He can be a brat.”

”He's cute, though, huh Mom?” she sighed. ”I have a cute Daddy.”

She had a way of making my heart melt. Everything ugly disappeared and suns.h.i.+ne pushed through. I wished I could tape record conversations we'd have, so one day she could see how beautiful she made my life. I really wished at that moment Royal had heard the sweet words from his daughter. I wasn't sure he really, truly understood his place in our family-how important he was to us.

”Well, don't tell him that he's cute. He'll get a big head.”

I winked and gave her a kiss on the cheek. ”Come on. Let's go dig for a little. Your pumpkins are getting huge.”

She'd been working in the garden with me since she was old enough to walk. When she was in Kindergarten, her cla.s.s project was a garden, and she'd insisted on growing vegetables. I'd always had flowers-thanks to Royal, but our little farmer always ensured we had fresh vegetables.

We worked in the garden for a little over an hour and then went inside to get cleaned up. Inside, Royal, Skylar, and Benji were sitting together in the family room, eating Frosted Flakes and watching cartoons.

”Good morning,” I said, leaning against the door jamb. ”I was going to make breakfast, but I wanted to wait for you guys to get up.”

Royal, charming as ever, replied with a mouthful or cereal. ”Skywur fix burfust.”

”Cute,” I said, rolling my eyes.

He swallowed down the bite and stood. ”We need to talk to Macy,” he said, walking toward the kitchen.

”I know we do.” I followed behind him and sat down at the counter. ”Are you calm enough to talk, or are the two of you going to kill each other again?”

He turned around, pointed a finger in my direction, and narrowed his eyes. ”Things need to be handled around here. You've obviously given them way too much freedom and now look at the s.h.i.+t she's gotten herself into.”

”How dare you say this is my fault? She's a teenage girl, not a dog! I can't make her heal, Royal. She was upset yesterday, and yes, what she did was horribly stupid, but you have to talk to her calmly.”