Chapter 94 (1/2)
Chapter 94. Miscalculation
The coffee shop's door opened, and a youth walked in. After looking around the place carefully, he spotted a young woman sitting by the window. She was in a semiformal attire rather than her usual grey business suit, but her neatly tied ponytail was a definite trademark of Kim Hannah.
The youth walked up to her stiffly, but Kim Hannah showed zero reactions. She had her arms folded and her legs crossed, staring in front of her with an expressionless face.
Like a criminal with clear evidence against him, Seol Jihu hesitantly sat down on the seat across from her.
“Kim Hannah….”
He called her quietly, but Kim Hannah wasn't even staring at him. He couldn't be sure whether she was zoned out or just ignoring him, but her eyes were staring at the empty air.
A heavy silence filled the atmosphere. Seol Jihu looked down somewhat in shame. The awkward atmosphere was hard to bear. He would have much preferred Kim Hannah to spit out curses as he expected her to, but she had a different air about her.
'This can't be good.'
He schemed to look for the right opportunity to gloss over the subject, but that thought vanished completely. No matter how mischievous and immature he was, he knew when and when not to joke with someone.
Just as he was starting to get worried that his pounding heart might pop out of his chest…
“I've thought a lot about it.”
Kim Hannah finally began.
“You might have thought… that I was being overprotective of you. Of course, I don't agree with that at all, but I understand if that's what you thought.”
She continued in a quiet voice.
“I thought doing so was best for you, but I guess what's important in the end is how you perceived it. And putting it that way, giving you the communication crystal was careless of me. Using my status as your protector to interfere in your life or to get you to do what I want, you might have thought about me that way.”
Kim Hannah sounded serious. Seol Jihu was just about to say, “No, I've never about you that way,” but when he saw Kim Hannah taking out a white envelope from her purse, he flinched.
“So.”
She put the envelope on the table and placed her hand on top of it. Her hand trembled as if she was about to push it forward.
“If you really want….”
“No.”
Seol Jihu replied as his instincts told him to.
“What?”
Kim Hannah sounded like a well-sharpened blade.
“I don't think of you that way. Not now.”
Seol Jihu shook his head. When he activated Nine Eyes, the envelope changed color. Kim Hannah was gold just like before, but the envelope had a murky yellow color.
This was the first time Seol Jihu was seeing the Golden Commandment with the Attention Required.
“I'm being honest.”
Seol Jihu quickly added. He didn't know what was inside the envelope, but he had a strong feeling he must never receive it. The moment he did, he felt like Kim Hannah would disappear from his life.
“You don't think of me that way, yet….”
Kim Hannah's eyebrows perked up. For the first time since Seol Jihu entered the coffee shop, she met his eyes.
“You acted that way?”
When he saw her icy gaze, he shrunk back like a frog in front of a snake. One thing he could be glad about was that her hand holding the yellow envelope went loose. However, she still had her hand on it.
Tap, tap, tap- Kim Hannah rapidly tapped on the envelope with her index finger before opening her mouth.
“How was it?”
“Hm?”
“Those eight days. It couldn't have been just once or twice that your life was at risk…. It was fun, right? Hovering over the boundary of life and death, weren't those moments electrifying? Ah, you even had a beautiful princess by your side, so it must have been exhilarating.”
“Don't say it like that.”
Seol Jihu smiled bitterly.
“Am I wrong? If it looked like it wouldn't work out, it would have been as simple as committing suicide before getting caught.”
“Kim Hannah, I know you're angry and I can understand why. Since I didn't keep the promise I made, it's my fault 100 percent. But… I'm not the type to enjoy trouble. No, it's not even right to call that incident 'trouble'. I'm not a psychopath who enjoys death.”
Seol Jihu's serious tone put a frown on Kim Hannah's face.
“That experience… was a nightmare. It was like I was standing before a huge wall with nowhere to go. I was starving, my throat was parched, my body screamed in pain, and I couldn't even sleep properly because of the constant pursuit from the enemies…. What happened was my fault, but it wasn't just once or twice that I wanted to kill myself in despair. Right, those eight days were a nightmare, one that I never want to experience again.”
Tap, tap- Kim Hannah's index finger became slower. She furrowed her brows.
“So you weren't enjoying yourself? Think about it carefully. Of course, it might have been hard for you at the time, but now that everything's gone and pa.s.sed, don't you think about it this way?”
“What way?”
“You know, content, satisfying, even something along the lines of, 'I knew I could do it' or 'It was a good experience'.”
“That makes no sense.”
Seol Jihu chuckled as if he waved his hand around.
“I don't even think that way about my time in the military. Plus, I already told you how I felt. I won't think about it that way even in ten years.”
“Really? You really don't think this way?”
“You probably don't understand. Returning alive, eating, drinking, sleeping on a bed, and even talking with you here, everything feels like a dream to me. I'm happy, but sometimes, I'm worried I would close my eyes and open them, only to find myself in that situation again.”
Tap, tap- Kim Hannah's tapping sped down noticeably. She studied Seol Jihu as if she was trying to sniff out a secret. Her expression was clearly one of confusion. Her eyes narrowed, and as if to give up, she bit down on her lips.
“Then what is it?”
“If it's not that, then why did you go? Money? No, if you cared about money so much, you wouldn't have rejected me previously. Is it honor, then? No, the Seol Jihu I know isn't someone who's obsessed about honor.”
“So if it's not money or honor, what is it? I just can't understand. Whatever, fine, if you're telling me the truth, prove it to me, right now.”
Thunk. Kim Hannah kicked the table and asked in a forceful tone.
“If something similar happens in the future, what will you do? Since you know it's tough enough to make you want to kill yourself, you won't go again, right?”
“No, that might not be the case.”
“What?”
“I'm saying it depends on the people involved.”
Seol Jihu replied firmly.
“If it's for a complete stranger, I won't go. It's not like I'm some altruistic saint. But….”
He paused momentarily and stared at Kim Hannah.
“If it's you who I need to save, then I'll go. No matter what I have to do.”
“Ha.”
Kim Hannah looked as if she had just heard the most absurd pickup line.
“Am I supposed to be touched?”
“I didn't mean it that way.”
“Then tell me. I've been asking you for a while now. Why?”
“I'm not your family member or your girlfriend. I'm just one of your acquaintances.”
It was clear to anyone listening in that Kim Hannah still couldn't understand.
“So why are you saying you'd save me? What's the reason?”
“The Golden Rule.”
Tap. The tapping stopped. Seeing Kim Hannah's frozen index finger, Seol Jihu smiled gently.
“Because you are my Golden Commandment.”
Kim Hannah stared at him in a daze.
“I, I don't understand what that means.”
She shook her head as she muttered in a raspy voice. Seol Jihu suddenly opened his mouth.
“Do you remember the first time we met?”
“What are you on about now?”
“You told me to reveal my secrets in exchange for the Invitation.”
Kim Hannah's eyes widened and her mouth opened slightly.
“You.”
“Let's say it's a part of that.”
“Hey, you better not be trying to gloss over this with some random bulls.h.i.+t. You're saying you can't tell me because you don't trust me.”
“Don't say it like that. In the first place, you're the one who approached me to use me.”
Seol Jihu said curtly.
“I had no intention of revealing my secrets. Not to you or anyone else.”
Since you're the one who made me fall into a pit of despair in my dream. He swallowed this line down.
“But after seeing how you were treating me, I changed my mind. It's still changing. I'm debating whether to tell you everything or not. I feel like I can trust you, but I can't be sure. I'm in a constant struggle.”
Kim Hannah tilted her head. She looked up at the ceiling with a puzzled look.
“I'm not sure what…. Haa.”