Part 15 (1/2)

CCLXX.--NATURAL TRANs.m.u.tATION.

THE house of Mr. Dundas, late President of the Court of Session in Scotland, having after his death been converted into a blacksmith's shop, a gentleman wrote upon its door the following impromptu:--

”The house a lawyer once enjoy'd, Now to a smith doth pa.s.s; How naturally the _iron age_ Succeeds the _age of bra.s.s_!”

CCLXXI.--CRITICS.

LORD BACON, speaking of commentators, critics, &c., said, ”With all their pretensions, they were only _brushers_ of n.o.blemen's clothes.”

CCLXXII.--QUESTION AND ANSWER.

A QUAKER was examined before the Board of Excise, respecting certain duties; the commissioners thinking themselves disrespectfully treated by his _theeing_ and _thouing_, one of them with a stern countenance asked him, ”Pray, sir, do you know what _we sit here for_?”--”Yea,” replied Nathan, ”I do; some of thee for a thousand, and others for seventeen hundred and fifty pounds a year.”

CCLXXIII.--A TRUE JOKE.

A MAN having been capitally convicted at the Old Bailey, was, as usual, asked what he had to say why judgment of death should not pa.s.s against him? ”Say!” replied he, ”why, I think the joke has been carried far enough already, and the less that is said about it the better: if you please, my lord, _we'll drop the subject_.”

CCLXXIV.--THE CART BEFORE THE HORSE.

A JUDGE asked a man what age he was. ”I am eight and fourscore, my lord,” says he. ”And why not fourscore and eight?” says the judge.

”Because,” replied he, ”I was _eight_ before I was fourscore.”

CCLXXV.--A CITY VARNISH.

IT being remarked of a picture of ”The Lord Mayor and Court of Aldermen,” in the Shakespeare Gallery, that the varnish was chilled and the figures rather sunk, the proprietors directed one of their a.s.sistants to give it a fresh coat of varnish. ”Must I use copal or mastic?” said the young man. ”Neither one nor the other,” said a gentleman present; ”if you wish to _bring the figures out_, varnish it with _turtle soup_.”

CCLXXVI.--A RUB AT A RASCAL.

GEORGE COLMAN being once told that a man whose character was not very immaculate had grossly abused him, pointedly remarked, that ”the scandal and ill report of some persons that might be mentioned was like fuller's earth, it _daubs your coat_ a little for a time, but when it is _rubbed off_ your coat is so much the cleaner.”

CCLXXVII.--A SAGE SIMILE.

MR. THACKERAY once designated a certain noisy tragedian ”Macready and _onions_.”

CCLXXVIII.--AN ARCHITECTURAL PUN.

_On the Statue of George I. being placed on the top of Bloomsbury Church._

The King of Great Britain was reckoned before The _head of the Church_ by all Protestant people; His Bloomsbury subjects have made him still more, For with them he is now made the _head of the steeple_.

CCLXXIX.--THE MAJESTY OF MUD.