Part 4 (1/2)
”No, that's not what this was about.”
My pulse calmed.
”Okay, so why did you and Leah fight, or is it not connected?”
”Yeah, well it's kind of connected.” She was reticent.
”So, talk to me.”
”It's nothing, and I overreacted. It's embarra.s.sing, really.”
”Tell me.”
”Okay, but you have to promise to hear me out. Don't go bat-s.h.i.+t crazy again.”
”Go on, Anna.”
”Leah just asked if I would try and reconcile with Ben now that I'd read the letter. And I got really mad that she could ever think that, knowing how I feel about you. She knows how different it is between us compared to other boyfriends I've had. I mean, if she feels for Daniel even a tenth of what I feel for you, she would never say that. I just lost it. Totally lost it and I feel bad. I apologized and it will be fine, but I was so irritated.”
I think my heart stopped. Literally, stopped dead. I didn't think it was possible to love someone more than I knew I loved Anna but apparently it was.
”Ethan?”
”Yeah, I'm here, beautiful. I'm sorry you had that fight with Leah-no, scratch that. I'm not sorry at all. I needed to hear that from you today.”
”You did?”
”It's all good. But we need a plan. We can't live three thousand miles away from each other for long. I think it might just ruin me.”
”I was thinking the same thing.”
”So, let's think of what we can do over these next few weeks, and then discuss the possibilities face to face when you're in New York.”
”I was hoping there was going to be a little less conversation and little more action when we see each other face to face.”
”You're quoting Elvis at me?”
”I am.” She laughed.
”Girls aren't allowed to quote Elvis. It's the law.”
”Yes, sir.”
”Really? And now you're deliberately trying to make me hard?”
”Maybe.” The smile pushed through her voice.
”There's going to be plenty of action, you don't need to worry about that.”
”I can't wait. Can I make a request?”
”A s.e.xual request? Of course. Anything.”
”Hardy har-har, Mr. Scott. You know I love Andrew and Mandy . . .”
”I take it back, no requests involving swinging or foursomes.”
”Once again, you're killing me with the funny. Can't stop laughing.” She was probably the most sarcastic person I'd ever met, and I loved it. ”I'd like to see them, but I want it to be you and me as much as possible.”
And my heart stopped again.
Anna The next few weeks became a gigantic countdown. Ethan and I settled into a routine of sorts. We spoke to each other when he got up and then sometimes just before I went to sleep. He'd worked every weekend since being back in New York. It was selfish of me, but I liked that his life seemed to be about work. When he went out it was always business related. He'd only seen Andrew and Mandy once since he got back.
Work was less and less interesting to me. It was difficult to know whether that was because Ethan was the ultimate distraction, or whether it was the job, the clients and the politics. Maybe it was all of the above. I just didn't see my future at the firm any more. Once I realized that, it made it difficult to get up in the morning. I needed to be working toward an alternative, but I wanted Ethan as part of that. I didn't want to be the girl whose future depended on a guy, but that s.h.i.+p had sailed. My future without him was unthinkable. I would never choose a job over him, it was as simple as that. Especially a job I felt, at best, ambivalent about. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to resign.
The weekend before Christmas, Leah invited me to have her dinner with her and Daniel at their place. I was pleased to have the distraction. It was dark, wet and cold as I arrived at their place.
”It smells delicious, Leah,” I said as I followed her into the kitchen. ”Did you cook?”
”I did. I hope it's all right.”
”I'm not sure I'd ever bother cooking if I had a housekeeper.”
”I know, but I feel really guilty about her doing everything for us all the time. And anyway, I quite like cooking. Daniel's been in the study all day working, and I've been cooking. It's been like something from the fifties. Wine?”
”Of course wine. So where's Daniel now?”
”Behind you,” Daniel said as he came into the kitchen. ”My spidey sense told me you were about to open some s.h.i.+tty wine, so I've come to save you and find the good stuff.”
Leah grinned. ”So how's Ethan?”
”Good. He's still not asked me to go to New York. But we're going to talk about it when I go over for New Year, so it's all good.”
”Have you offered to go?” Daniel asked.
”I want him to ask me. I don't want to feel I've backed him into a corner.”
”He loves you. He's not going to feel backed into a corner,” Leah said.
”Then why doesn't he ask me?”
”Have you asked him to move to London?” Leah asked.
I shook my head. ”It's difficult for him.”
Daniel started laughing. ”You know how ridiculous you sound, right?” Was it ridiculous to want Ethan to show me he was sure about us? ”He's in an impossible situation. He can't ask you to move to New York without running the risk of looking like a d.i.c.k because he's asked a girl to give up a life and career for him.”