Part 14 (1/2)

Now Carpenter Smith was young, steady and still, And wherever he went, worked and played with a will: To bed he went early, and early did rise; So, of course, he was healthy, and wealthy, and wise.

But John he grew tired of a bachelor's life, So he looked all around him in search of a wife; And his eyes, as they wandered, again and again Returned to Eliza and Emily Jane.

And whenever those maidens encountered his eye, Their pulses beat quickly (perhaps you know _why_); They each of them thought him a wonderful Don, And wished to be married to Carpenter John.

But John, as you've heard, was a prudent young man; And determined their faults and their merits to scan; Says he, ”If I marry, I'm tied for my life; ”So it's well to be cautious in choosing a wife.”

Now I'm sorry to say that young Emily Jane Was disposed to be rather conceited and vain; In fact, for the truth I'm obliged to confess, Was decidedly fond of extravagant dress.

So she thought the best way to the Carpenter's heart Was to purchase gay dresses and finery smart; In the carrier's van off to Bedford she went, And many weeks' wages in finery spent.

Her dress it was blue, and her ribbons were green, And her chignon the highest that ever was seen, And perched on the top, heavy-laden with flowers, Was a bonnet, embosomed in beautiful bowers.

So red, as she walked to the Church, was her shawl That the bull in the farm-yard did bellow and bawl; And so high were her heels that on entering the door She slipped, and she stumbled, and fell on the floor.

Says Carpenter Smith, ”It's decidedly plain ”That I'd better keep clear of that Emily Jane:”

So from Emily Jane he averted his eye, And just at that moment Eliza pa.s.sed by.

Now Eliza had thought, ”If his heart I subdue, ”It shall not be by dresses and finery new: ”For a lover who's taken by ornaments gay ”Will love some one else ere a week pa.s.s away.”

So her ribbons were lilac; white straw was her bonnet; Her dress was light grey, with dark braiding upon it; Her jacket was black; and her boots of stout leather Were fitted for walking in all sorts of weather.

She was not very pretty, and yet in her smile There was something that charmed by its freedom from guile: And tho' lowly her lot, yet her natural grace Made her look like a lady in figure and face.

A rose from the garden she wore on her breast, And John, as her fingers he tenderly press'd, Seemed to feel a sharp arrow ('twas Cupid's first dart) Come straight from the rosebud and enter his heart.

Now John and Eliza are husband and wife; Their quarrels are few, and contented their life; They eat and they drink and they dress in good taste, For their money they spend on their wants, not in waste.

But I'm sorry to say that Miss Emily Jane Has still an aversion to dress that is plain; And the consequence is that she always has stayed, And is likely to stay, a disconsolate maid.

MORAL.

Young ladies, I hope you'll attend to my moral, When you hear it, I'm sure you and I shall not quarrel: If you're pretty, fine dress is not needed to show it; If you're ugly, fine dress will make all the world know it.

Young men, if you wish, as I trust you all do, A partner for worse or for better to woo, Don't marry a _peac.o.c.k_ dressed out in gay feathers, But a _wife_ guaranteed to wear well in all weathers.

BEDFORDs.h.i.+RE BALLAD.--II.

”ONE GLa.s.s OF BEER.”

Ne quid nimis.

Tom Smith was the son of a Bedfords.h.i.+re man; (The Smiths, we all know, are a numerous clan) He was happy and healthy and handsome and strong, And could sing on occasion a capital song.

His father had once been a labourer poor, But had always contrived to keep want from the door; And by work and by thrift had enough in his pocket To rent a small farm from his landlord, and stock it.

He died: Tom succeeded: the ladies all said It was high time he went to the Church to be wed; And Sarah and Clara, and f.a.n.n.y and Bess, Confessed if he ”offer'd” perhaps they'd say ”Yes.”