Volume 3 Chapter 6 (2/2)

I hug that little body, my cute little sister. I can’t let her see my face. I embrace her tightly, with strength.

“Br-brother!?”

“Right. I won’t die…never again…”

Don’t cry. I can’t cry.

“I-I’ll always, always be…by your side…”

I promised her, that I won’t cry, that I’ll continue to live with a smile. I promised.

“Always, always…”

I promised, I already, promised–

“Uuuu–ugh…ku…ahhh…!”

“Brother…”

I just can’t stop crying.

That day, I cried for a long time. I let out a cry in this cruel world, in this world where I’m lonely.

The sandgla.s.s continues to tick on, the flowers wilt, and the sun sets.

The long dream comes to an end.

Time pa.s.ses–

“To Yukiko.

I’ll be going home after college cla.s.ses this Friday. Say hi to mom for me.

I’ll be looking forward to your birthday party.

From brother.”

—-Three years pa.s.sed.

“Ah.”

On that day, I found something nostalgic.

“You found this limited rare Hikari! As to be expected of you, partner! Bonus points! Five hundred sit-ups!”

“At such a place?”

The piece of paper’s in the crease of the gaming console I brought from home. I pick it up, and chuckle to me myself. Hikari Yumesaki left a lot of paper slips for me at the very end. It looks like I’ve still yet to find them all.

“You told me to forget about you, but you clearly don’t want me to forget about you, huh?”

I shake the little piece of paper from Hikari Yumesaki, muttering to myself.

–Now then.

It’s been three years since the life of two personalities in one body I shared with Hikari Yumesaki ended.

I’m now in my third year of college.

As for what happened after then…what I’ve been doing after Hikari Yumesaki vanished, the answer’s that I tried my hardest to study. To put it straight, I was just running away from reality. After losing the girl I love, I felt really lonely, and to alleviate the loneliness in my heart, I got down to studying, with an anguished heart, to maintain my sanity.

And so, a year or so pa.s.sed

I didn’t know if it’s because I spent the time studying hard, but I actually managed to make it to the premier college. Oh great, the power of love really is terrifying. However, it does feel a little inappropriate to say this.

Thus, I’m living alone. I can do whatever I want, but I do feel a little alone. Especially when Yukiko sent me a message saying “It’s time to come home! You never bothered asking Yukiko! It’s too late for you to be acting like a brother! Yukiko’s not lonely!” on that day, I suddenly feel like I missed Yukiko’s pretty face . Looks like my fear of being alone hasn’t changed even at the age of twenty.

“But there are still more of these.”

I mutter, and carefully put the folded piece of paper into my drawer.

I thought that there will be a whole bunch of them, but it looks like I didn’t manage to find them all. Even after years, there are still pieces of paper showing up suddenly from time to time. Oh great, even in death, she’s good at sudden attacks.

And so I think, as I reach for a journal placed on the table.

And then–

“Nothing’s probably written inside.”

These words encapsulate my loneliness.

This is the journal I once used. I know it’s meaningless, but I continue to insist on writing the journal every day.

And only on the left side, the right side blank.

To any bystander, this might be a strange journal. To us however, it’s meaningful. I guess I still have I still have a longing for her.

Will I have a sudden memory loss, and a reply appear on the journal?

Will I suddenly end up dating a girl without knowing it?

Will I again be involved with some ridiculous antics?

Yes, I’m looking forward to it.

So in the end, I didn’t open the journal; i pack my stuff,and prepare to head out to cla.s.s. After cla.s.s, I’ll have to head home immediately. Yukiko already sent more than twenty messages, telling me to “hurry back home”. If I don’t hurry up, my inbox is going to be spammed. I hope Yukiko will like her birthday present though.

“Right, time to head out.”

I say to the journal that’s left alone on the table, and leave the room.

Slowly, I walk down the sunny path leading to school.

I pa.s.s through the residential area, and arrive at the bustling streets with loads of food shops. All I see are young people living the college life. Ah, those people with friends sure have it nice. In the end, I’m back to being alone. I really haven’t grown at all. Life sure is tough.

“Hey, Sakamoto.”

But, it’s not like life never changed at all.

“Yo.”

Hearing this sudden greeting, I have to stop, and turn my head around.

A girl’s running towards me from behind.

“Morning! Looks like you’re in a good mood today too, Sakamoto!”

“Enough already. Drank too much at the seminar two days ago, and I’m having a hungover since yesterday–Miyamoto.”

I retort back at the girl smiling at me.

Even I too find this to be a real coincidence.

I somehow end up miraculously reunited with my childhood friend and penpal Harumi Miyamoto, and we somehow end up attending the same college. I never told her which college I was headed to, so we just so happened to b.u.mp into each other, I was chatted up by her, and was really taken aback. “You got a memorable looking face.” So Miyamoto said, but I’ll just take that as praise.

“Let’s go then! The streets clear up quickly whenever I walk with you. Thanks for the help.”

“Don’t say this as if I’m a snow plower.”

And keep a low profile.

“Ahaha. What’s wrong with that? And you’re my ‘butler’ here. Hurry, gogogo!”

The girl bares her teeth as she laughs out loud. Butler, she remembers that promise, huh?

“Hm? What’s wrong? Why are you looking at me.”

“It-it’s nothing.”

I subconsciously stare at Miyamoto, and she suddenly tilts her head in a cute manner. I don’t really have any thought about it, just that she got prettier. She was cute in my memories, but it just feels like she got prettier ever since she became a college girl. Really, she’s a college girl in her youth. That old headband of hers still fuits her.

“But well, you used to slouch a lot, Sakamoto. You’re tall, you should stand up right. Also, don’t frown all the time.”

“What? This isn’t a bad thing, is it? Not like I want anyone else to look at me.”

“Seriously. I give you a rare tip, you know. I thought you got kinder through our letters, but once we meet again, I see that you never changed. Everyone has a bad opinion of you, you know~”

Shut up. This is good. My philosophy is that I don’t have the need to make friends. Also, I still have contact with my friends in high school, so I don’t feel lonely at all. But really, I was anxious when Kasumi figured out my address before I could tell her.

“Speaking of which, aren’t you the same?”

“Hm? What about me?”

I guess that’s it. You seem like a posh, refined lady through the letters, but it’s like I found that you’re exactly the same as before. What happened to the crazy personality of yours in your letters.

“Ah, that?”

This feisty Miyamoto suddenly lets out a rare falter.

And then, she gives a bashful look, saying,

“…You still remember the first time we met at the campsite, right?”

“Hm? Yeah.”

It’s impossible to forget about that. That day was the first time she and I–

“There’s a girl hugging a panda doll back then, you remember?”

Miyamoto mentions Hikari Yumesaki before I can recall her appearance. This really surprises me.

“You actually like her, don’t you?”

“…!”

The unexpected words come one after another, and I choose silence. I guess my att.i.tude left Miyamoto mistaken about it, and she continues on, her face a little red,

“Back then, I kept looking at you, and when you saw that she couldn’t cross the river, you wanted to help her, and made a fool of yourself. You failed, but back then, when this young me saw that scene, I was thinking that you had such feelings for her. So I tried changing my image in the letter. But this can only be done in the letters.”

“…I see.”

Hikari Yumesaki, looks like you impact in ways we don’t know of. Seriously, there are legends of you everywhere.”

“What happened to that girl?”

“…Who knows.”

Basking in the breeze, I answer in a forlorn manner.

I guess it’s probably a coincidence, but my heart still rattles whenever I find Hikari Yumesaki notes, and then hear people mention her on the day itself. Yep, those days aren’t just dreams. No matter how much time has pa.s.sed, even if they start to fade, she did…live on this world before. As my other half–

“Hm?”

While the atmosphere got silent.

My cellphone rang, notifying me.

“Ah.”

I have a look at the sender, and can’t help but gasp.

“–Chiaki.”

“Hm, what’s the matter? Your girlfriend?”

I evade Miyamoto’s stare, telling her that’s not the case, and then look at the message from the girl–who shared the same tragic fate as us.

“Good morning. Are you still alright? Today is the third anniversary of Hayato’s disappearance. Do you want to come along and clean his grave?”

“…Chiaki.”

Seeing this somewhat lonely message, I can’t help but look up at the sky. Yeah, it’s been so long–

A month after Hikari Yumesaki vanished from my body, Hayato too met his demise, and left this world. He kept smiling until the very end, never complaining at all, continuing to live on as Chiaki’s hero, and vanished. He’s a strong one, so strong that I feel that I’ll never be able to surpa.s.s him in this life.

His life is definitely not meaningless.

Chiaki’s probably motivated by that vigorous lifestyle of Hayato, and ever since then, her growth has been outstanding. After much enthusiastic practice, Chiaki now can move around the vicinity of her house without the a.s.sistance of a wheelchair. Not alone that, but the biggest change that happened to her is–

“Also, have you found any clues as to how to revive Hayato and Miss Hikari?”

Seeing the last bit, I can’t help but smile.

Right–even at this point. Chiaki hasn’t given up on Hayato.

The girl who despaired over the cruel future no longer exists. She swore before Hayato’s grave that she’ll definitely be reunited with him again, and never to give up. She knows that it’s a tough road full of obstacles, and yet she decides to continue on. She wipes her tears, determined as she looks forward. She’s greatly different from this me who cried, a reliable person.

“What’s the matter? You’ve been smiling for a while now.”

“Eh? Ah, sorry. It’s nothing.”

While I lose myself as I look at the message, Miyamoto stares at my face, looking unhappy. Sorry, sorry. So I apologize twice before talking things through.

“Nothing of yet, but I won’t give up. I’ll go over to you this Sunday, until then.” I give Chiaki this reply, and slip the phone into my pocket. Right, I don’t intend to give up either.

As long as we’re still alive, there’s still a possibility. Then, let’s continue to struggle until the very end. This is the job of those still alive. I’m going to fulfill the promise that was yet to be fulfilled.

To meet Madam Hinako–with her.

“Surely–we’ll be together.”

“Hm? Really, what’s with you?”

I chuckle at a mystified Miyamoto, wave it off, and again look at the sky.

The blue, tall sky.

I’m sure that she’ll be at some place under this blue sky, I believe that one day, we’ll reunite under the blue sky.

I silently call out her name, in a voice n.o.body else can hear.

“Seriously! Pull yourself together! Look, we’re going to me late!”

I feel a sense of nostalgia in my heart, and Miyamoto slaps my back hard. Yeah yeah, I’m sorry. Let’s go to college.

With Miyamoto prompting me, we head off to school.

“I’m back!”

It’s after school, and after school, I head back to my apartment before heading for home. Time to clean up my room.

I prepare my bag, change the birthday present I bought for Yukiko last week. Think, there’s–

“Ah?”

While I’m packing up.

There’s a little piece of paper between the gaps of the computer box. Ah, two rare strikes today–I open the box, and take out the piece of paper. It’s what I expected.

“Hikari shows up when you’re feeling lonely, Sakamoto! You’re too careless!”

“They’re really everywhere.”

How many did she hide? She has no restraint, that fellow.”

I have a look at the note from Hikari Yumesaki, smile, and carefully put it into the table. After some silence, I pick up by bag, and is about to leave.

“Right. I closed the window too.”

Just when I opened the door leading to the corridor.

While the dazzling sunlight’s s.h.i.+ning in through the gap, stinging at my eyes.

I–realize something.

“Huh—–“

Eh? That one…

Where did that piece come from? I remember it’s tucked in the computer I brought from home. It’s not strange to have pieces of paper inside there.

Then, the content?

I did say, when I was in high school, that I want to live alone once I get to college. So even if she did predict this before she vanish, it’s not surprising.

But, what if–

“—“

I start to slowly return home.

For some reason, there’s a smile on my face.

But I know why.

Surely there’s something changing. I have this feeling.

I pick up the journal on the table.

My–our exchange diary.

My exchange diary, and hers.

I believe there’s definitely something written on it–

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