Vol 1 Chapter 5 (2/2)

“Don’t make me worry too much. You’re the one who always does stupid things from time to time.”

I mutter to no one in particular, and prepare to go to school.

However, I’m naive.

No, I guess I already realized this, that she’s just bluffing after all. She’s just doing this because she’s concerned about me.

But I want to avert my eyes and run away from the matter, even though I knew this is something I will regret over.

On this night, I realize how foolish I was to think of that. She really likes this kind of thing.

“Hm?”

It’s night. The middle of a usual, ordinary night.

I’m sleeping in the room with my indirect lighting switched on (sleeping in a pitch dark room is something Hikari Yumesaki hates and selfishly insisted against.) At that moment, a certain person sneaked into my room without warning, waking me up.

“Hm…who’s that?”

“Ha, waah!”

Once I flip my futon over, I found a figure squirming in the dim room.

And the ident.i.ty of that person is considerably surprising to me.

“Yukiko…?”

“…Ah, about that…”

What the? the one invading my room was my little sister, Yukiko.

“What are you doing? Hm? That’s–”

“Ah! No! Th-this is, that…”

I stare at the thing Yukiko’s holding so preciously with both hands.

In her panic, she tries to hide it behind her. Ehh seriously, just let me see already. Why are you hiding it?

I tug at her hands, and the thing she’s holding with both hands is–

“What? ‘A luxury tour complimentary ticket, enjoy the j.a.panese summer with your all! Bring the person you like!’…this is?”

“Th-that’s why, I say…about that…”

That’s a complimentary tour ticket .

And on a closer look, beside the words ‘Bring the person you like!’ I saw the words written, ‘Bit’s good to bring your little sister along too!’. Erm…

“Are you planning to give this to me?”

“Uu…I wanted to slip it to you quietly…an-anyway, just accept this happily! Thank me right now!”

Yukiko’s face is blus.h.i.+ng a little as lifted her head proudly. No, while I’m grateful for this, why a tour ticket? Isn’t it expensive?

I-I’m a little concerned here

“Are you giving this to me?”

“Uu…I wanted to sneak in and hand this to you quietly…anyway, just accept this graciously! Hurry up and thank me already!”

With her face blus.h.i.+ng, Yukiko puffs her chest as she says to this me. Well, I’m grateful for this, but why a tour ticket? It’s expensive, right?

“Do-don’t worry about it. This isn’t anything much as long as you’re feeling better, brother! That’s why, that’s why–stop being so downhearted!”

“Downhearted?”

Just when I’m about to ask, when was I being downhearted? I suddenly realize.

I understood what those words meant.

“G-goodness. Recently, you have been looking very nervous, brother, always loitering around at home alone. You don’t have any appet.i.te when you eat, and you end up sleeping very late at night. sometimes even hugging your knees, giving that thinking look. I can’t watch this any longer! I don’t know what you’re thinking, but cheer up immediately! If you go on a tour, you’ll definitely be able to relieve your stress.”

“…”

Yukiko, looking furious, folded her arms as she said those words.

And I realized how naive I was.

I thought I understood Hikari Yumesaki more than anyone else.

But I was unable to see that she was forcing herself here.

Before my little sister told me about this, I didn’t know she held all her thoughts within herself alone.

I see. There’s no way she can be alright after all.

She’s trying to act tough. Just trying to look tough here.

“…Yukiko.”

I mutter to my little sister, who’s being quiet in the darkness,

“You’re right. I did have some frustrations yesterday, and the me tomorrow will be suffering as well.”

My little sister continues to stare at me intently.

“The me tomorrow will definitely wake up feeling all broody. I have a very huge problem right now. However, I’ll continue to suffer. It’s too much suffering to keep it all to myself after all.”

“Then just say it all out tomorrow. You’ll feel a little better.”

“Sorry, I won’t do that. The me tomorrow has decided to fight on alone.”

“……But that’s.”

An anguished voice was eked out. Don’t give such a face. It’ll ruin your cute face.

“However, I guess it’s too much suffering fighting alone. It’s too much suffering waking up with a gloomy feeling. That’s why, Yukiko–”

I stare at my little sister’s eyes, and say with conviction,

“Tomorrow, when I wake up, do you mind saying ‘good morning, I love you’?”

“–Woah!?”

…….

…

The silence of the night is echoing.

All emotions have vanished from my sister’s face like a haniwa, and I continue on.

“Please. The me tomorrow really loves you. If you can wake up the me tomorrow, the me tomorrow will definitely be happy about it.”

“B-but–”

“And if possible, can you please be together with the me tomorrow? When eating together, bathing together…anyway, just don’t let me be alone.”

“A–”

“And also, sleep with the me tomorrow. You might get teased by me here, but I really hope to rely on you at that moment. Using your b.r.e.a.s.t.s.”

“–”

“That’s why, for the me tomorrow……Yukiko?”

Huh? What now?

The kaniwa face is becoming redder. Eh, what? Is she evolving?

“It-it…it finally came…”

“Eh?”

“This moment finally arrive…showing my courage here finally paid off…my hand can reach the moon! Apollo!”

A-Apollo?

“E-erm, can I leave this to you?”

“Of course! I’ll definitely wake up earlier than you and say good morning to you, brother! I might not sleep at all!”

And Yukiko handed me the tour ticket with delight, wiping the drool off her lips as she exited the room. She’s angry at one moment and smiling at the next. Well whatever, this isn’t the only problem here.

“I have also a.s.sume the worse case scenario here…”

I don’t know what that girl’s so angsty about, but I can’t just leave her alone like this.

She’s currently suffering at the moment, and there’s no doubt about that. I can’t just leave her alone like this. I have to know about Hikari Yumesaki.

But what do I do here? How do I go about understanding her?

I know nothing about Hikari Yumesaki. I don’t know how she looked, her voice, her skin color, her hair color. I don’t know her family, and I don’t know about her friends. All I know here is Kazes.h.i.+ro, and the fact that they attended the same school together…

“Ah–”

Thinking about this, I can’t help but exclaim,

“Maybe–”

The memories of early April awoke in my mind.

Yeah, this is it.

I finally realize this, and at this moment, I will myself.

I never tried searching into Hikari Yumesaki’s secret, and right now, I have to step into it.

I don’t want to do this, but I’m left with no other choice.

“Wait for me here, Hikari Yumesaki…Kazes.h.i.+ro.”

Determination filling my heart, I lift my head at the warm night sky.

Two days later, after school.

Some light shone through the cloudy sky, and below it, I arrive at the watermelon fields.

When our strange cohabitation life began, before we were exchanging diary entries.

I ended up waking up here twice in a row, and I thought it was really strange.

That person definitely came here for a reason. This is her place of refuge.

And thus, this is why she wouldn’t leave this place even in the middle of the night.

“Sorry for being later.”

I open the crumpled student handbook to check the address. It’s a piece of land located at a footpath between the rice fields, near Takiou High School.

There’s no doubt about it. Amongst the vinyl houses, I can see a little house.

This is the place where Hikari Yumesaki was born and lived in.

Using my body, which she was unfamiliar with, she tried asking her family for help.

She’s probably terrified, trembling, crying, fighting alone in this lonely world.

That girl’s not mentally strong in any way, just continuing to endure it all.

“If there’s a chance, a chance for me to know anything about that girl…”

Come on, let’s step in–

Though I thought of this before, there is a following issue at hand.

I already woke up twice here.

In other words, during the short time after her death, that girl came here twice using my body.

“Did she mess up…?”

Looks like she did.

At that time, I had yet to comprehend the situation probably. That was also the time when I was suspected to have split personalities, causing me to end up wailing.

Do I really want to meet with her family?

If I do end up meeting them, how am I supposed to face them? I don’t think it’s a good thing either way though.

Not good, what do I do now? I can’t think of anything.

Speaking of which, I don’t know anything about how that girl’s family is like. What do I do…?

“Ah.”

“Hm?”

A voice rang amidst the silence, and I carelessly turn over to look.

Over there is one heck of a beauty.

Her hair and eyes are black, and it’s probably because of this that her skin looked extremely white. Her pet.i.te body looks a little slender, or maybe it’s just me.

She has the look of a housewife, pus.h.i.+ng a trolley filled with shopping bags leisurely. She she…

“Ah, erm, are you Miss Yumesaki’s–”

The moment I was about to continue.

“Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!”

She yelled.

Ah dratz….I messed up after all, didn’t I?

“W-wa, that’s a misunderstanding! Erm, I.”

“Somebody save me! It’s the kiddy transvest.i.te from before–! Somebody save me–!”

Kiddy transvest.i.te? What in the world is that?

Fl.u.s.tered, I’m unable to do anything, at my wits end.

And then, the pa.s.sers-by uncles and the uncles nearby all gathered around, ostensibly gathering around this shocked aunty. They’re all uncles.

And then, they grabbed my shoulder firmly–

“Ah, wait, please let go of me! I’m not a weird–”

“Are you that kiddy transvest.i.te?”

“And you dare attack Mdm Hinako while she’s hurting!”

“And you even yelled ‘save me, mama!’. We never settled the debt with you!”

“Yeah yeah. You’re so presumptuous when you’re talking!”

I’m being questioned by all sorts of people for reasons I don’t understand. That madam’s covering her face with both hands, looking extremely terrified. Argh, enough already.

“Listen to me already! I got some things I have to say no matter what! Leave aside what happened in the past and just listen to me already!”

I tried my best to yell, but the uncles continued to interrogate me.

And the uncles yell back in displeasure, saying things like ‘You’re kidding here!’, ‘we’re protecting Mdm Hinako!’

d.a.m.n it, in that case…

“I want to talk about ‘Miss Hikari’! Please!”

I inadvertently call out her name.

And then, I regretted.

The surrounding atmosphere changed at that instance.

n.o.body was growling at me this time, just coldness.

And the proof of that was the sudden punch sent flying at me from a blind spot.

It’s a firm fist. If not for my ma.s.sive body, I would surely collapse at that instant.

Behind the utterly infuriated uncles was the madam, who’s obviously looking extremely pale, collapsing onto the ground weakly. This is bad.

“Enough already, you s.h.i.+tty brat…”

“Do you know how much Mdm Hinako’s suffering here?”

Their rage continued to fault me.

I know that. Of course I know about that. However, she’s the only one I can rely on here.

I don’t know anything about Hikari Yumesaki.

I can’t understand her at all. With regards to this, I’m completely different from her mother. All I can do now basically amounts to groveling around on the dirt.

I gulp down the rustic saliva and grit, and p.r.o.ne myself onto the floor.

I guess this is what it means by getting on my knees to beg. And so, with all my might, I yell,

“One of the Yumesaki’s teachings! ③ can only done after 18 years old!”

My words caused everyone around me to be stumped.

What are you saying here? That seemed to be what they were wondering.

However, Mdm Hinako’s reaction is different from theirs, and the proof is that she’s staring at me with a strange look.

“Please! Just listen to me once! I beg of you!”

“Pardon my intrusion…”

Released from the surrounding uncles, I pa.s.sed through the watermelon fields, and was called to the Yumesakis house.

The uncles were still rather wary of me, but Mdm Hinako suddenly shouted,

“Sorry, it’s a misunderstanding! Isn’t this Hikari’s friend, Mr Frightening? Ah, that expression’s as scary as usual~”

And it’s takes to this questionable reply that I was released. Anyway, according to what was said, I can truly say “Ah, this is really Hikari Yumesaki’s mother”. I guess the naming sense really pa.s.sed on well to her daughter.

“Oh.”

We pa.s.sed the hard-packed dirt, and while walking on the creaking corridor that had aged, I found a cat. It’s a black cat. The grey eyes are staring right at me. Speaking of which, I do remember that girl saying that she did rear a cat before.

“Please come in. I shall brew some tea.”

I bow politely to Mdm Hinako, who hurried off, and duck in through the short lintel.

While the weak sunlight s.h.i.+nes in through the room, I proceed to sit in a seiza. I can hear my heart thumping in this quiet room. Ahh, I’m feeling tense.

After a well, Mdm Hinako came over with a tray in hand.

She brewed green tea, and it’s very fragrant.

“You really shocked me there. I never thought anyone would know about the Yumesakis’ teachings. Did you hear this from Hikari?”

“Yeah, sorry.”

I meekly lower my head as I accept the tea. “Don’t be nervous”, she told me, and so I relaxed my feet. Calm down now.

She, after taking a little sip of tea, smiled at me with a gentle face.

Feeling a little embarra.s.sed, I lower my head, and then, I hear her giggle.

“Hey, can you tell me your name?”

“Ah, it’s Akitsuki Sakamoto. Well, I used to get on well with Hikari, back then.”

She nod away delightedly in response to my voice. I hope it’s just me when I see her happy looking face being a little worn out.

“Well, I’m really sorry about before. I came over uninvited, and caused confusion…”

I guess I better apologize first.

I can somewhat guess that she used my body and caused quite a ma.s.sive commotion. Anyway, Mdm Hinako’s confused over Hikari Yumesaki’s death, I think. Things got complicated because of that.

“Ohoho, don’t mind about that. I should be the one apologizing for stomping on that important place of yours back then. I’m really sorry about that. Are you alright now? Can you still use it?”

“Huh? Eh, what?”

Wh-what now?

“Is it still swollen? Shall I have a look at it?”

“N-no, I’m fine here! It’s okay even if it’s a little swollen.”

I don’t know what she’s infering, but it looks like it’s something really shocking. Anyway, let’s not talk about this now.

“Is that so? So you’re Hikari’s friend…”

“Yes…”

“Hmmmm.”

“…?”

Wh-what now?

“That kid’s really quite capable herself.”

“Huh?”

“Oh hoh. Friends? So, in other words…”

Mdm Hinako mutters this softly as she hugged her own body. And then, she pointed the index finger–

“It’s that kind of relations.h.i.+p you mustn’t do, right?”

“Whhaattt!!?”

I choked hard here. Wait, wh-what the!

“It-it’s a misunderstanding!”

“You’re lying. That kid’s cute, right? She’s adorable, isn’t she?”

“No, that’s–!”

“But that kid has some strange interests. You sure she didn’t do anything weird to you?”

“No, wait, that’s–”

“Really? That kid’s been reading some strange novels. I thought she was reading a novel about love between girls, but when I read it, I found that it was a novel about 5 little girls playing basketball. Also, there’s the recent trend of novels with those handsome guys appearing on it. I was intending to bury them along with her too~”

“Argh, don’t say it already!”

What’s with this person!? Sh-she actually read those things! And said it with such calmness to boot.

Pressured by her as she pointed her index finger, I could only smile back wryly. I guess this is to be expected of Yumesaki’s mother; her interests really differ from the norm.

“Ahem.”

I clear my throat and return back to my usual pace. No, this isn’t it, I’m not here to hear you talk about these things.

“I’m here to return this.”

Trying my best not to look at her in the eyes, I hand over the student handbook.

The student handbook’s all tattered, but it’s still something that girl left behind, and it’s not something I should have.

However, I was unable to return this before this moment.

Because I didn’t have the courage to accept what was written inside that student notebook.

“…Oh. Thank you, Akitsuki.”

Mdm Hinako slowly received the student handbook, and flipped through the pages tenderly, ostensibly stroking it, seemingly scared of hurting herself.

“It probably took you lots of courage to bring this over, I guess?”

“Th-that’s not the case…”

“If that kid told you about our teachings, I suppose she really likes you, Akitsuki.”

The gloomy voice enters my ears comfortably.

It’s a gentle, mellow voice, ostensibly not knowing if it could hurt others. Surely, that girl’s voice is the same too.

“Hey, Akitsuki, what do you think about that girl?”

“Eh? Ah, well…”

I’m suddenly faced with an unexpected question. E-erm, how do I answer this…

“She’s cheerful, energetic… and I got into all sorts of troubles because of her… anyway, it’s never boring whenever I’m with her, and…”

Though I’ve some words I want to say, I find myself unable to say them due to embarra.s.sment.

I also realize this is the only chance to talk about some things. This is the only thing I can say however.

“That kid’s actually quite fragile.”

“Huh?”

“She’s just putting on a front. She is quite the mischievous kid, but she really cried a lot when she was younger. She was p.r.o.ne to being dejected, timid.”

“…”

“She always said that she wanted to change herself because of who she was. It’s like a mantra, whether it was the beginning of Middle School, or the next day after something bad happened to her, she says that she’ll become a hero who can save others. However, people simply can’t change that easily. Whenever things don’t go her way, or she fails, she ends up crying. Whenever she says she’ll get stronger, she’ll end up crying the next day. She’s really a useless kid.”

Mdm Hinako open a certain page of the student handbook, her eyes staring at it as she continues on,

“She looked like she did change a little when she entered High School. Oh ho ho, ever since she became a High School student, she was sneaking around, doing some things. And then, when I had a look, I found a bunch of weird light novels and mangas. She really is an extremely curious girl after all, I suppose; she was collecting those anime shows with many girls appearing and novels with only boys in them, and she looked really happy, like she finally found something she liked. She played together with her friends who had similar interests, and started smiling more. When she was young, she was very reactive to others, so she had a mischievous personality, always looking to tease others and enjoy herself. She’s still the crybaby from before, but she’ll revert back to being an energetic kid with a smile the next day. It’s just a little bit, but she was certainly becoming stronger by the moment, and it really made me relieved. As long as she’s being all energetic, I would feel really happy. That’s why I always wanted to take care of her, to support her quietly; even if she ended up suffering, she had to continue working hard, and not feel defeated. I really, really love that kid, but on that day–”

Mdm Hinako opened that page.

I don’t know whether it was out of coincidence, or whether it was deliberate.

Thanks to the plastic cover protecting the book, the last page of the student handbook wasn’t drenched, and managed to survive. That’s the reason why I couldn’t hand this student handbook back. Written on it is her last message.

“I can’t live on alone in this world anymore. The ones connecting my life to this world are the cold, yet gentle eyes.”

This was the final message to the world that was without her.

Yes, this was her will.

She definitely did not die of an accident.

She–committed suicide.

Those were the last words written on the student handbook. I saw Hikari Yumesaki in her final moments.

That girl has always been trying to hide her secret.

And it’s a fact that I can’t accept.

However, I can’t just allow myself to watch by the sidelines.

If I want to continue on, I will have no choice but to accept everythig here.

“…Did you already know. That…Miss Hikari, her life…”

Mdm Hinako accepted this fact more readily than what I could expect. That smiling face looked ever so painful to me.

“I’m not sure, I guess. Maybe I did have a feeling after all. That girl wasn’t doing too well at school.”

“…”

“I’m an idiot, am I not? I know about it, but I didn’t do anything about it. I fail as a mother.”

“But that’s…”

Not. I stopped myself from saying those words.

I know nothing about Hikari Yumesaki, and of course, I don’t know anything about her mother.

Being like that, what can I say at this point? Do I have the right to talk about others? I’m ultimately just an outsider, just someone that appears on the staff roll at the epilogue after the customers have after left, a person who only appeared after there is no one left to watch. What do I know here?

However, it’s still a fact that she needed you. It’s because she couldn’t rely on you for help that she ended up shut in me like a coffin. She’s only able to cry.

“Sorry, but I’m fine here. I’ve always accepted the fact that she’s no longer here.”

“…Is that so?”

“Seriously. There was this friend of hers from Middle School who once came over here. He’s really a handsome boy, and was doing his best to encourage this dejected me. At that moment, I decided that for that girl’s sake, I will continue to live on. I will definitely continue to live on.”

She continued to repeat herself, either for me, or for herself to hear.

Don’t say it. Stop saying such things already.

Because I’m not that strong either.

“…”

In the midst of the silence, I recalled the words Mdm Hinako said.

–That kid’s actually quite fragile.

I was completely wrong all along.

I thought she was always always an idiot before she appeared in my life, always doing stupid things. I thought she was that kind of wilful person, that she was Hikari Yumesaki.

But this wasn’t the case.

She would have times when she’s depressed over her own death.

She would have times when she regretted over what happened with Kasumi.

And she’s having her own worries about the vengeance Kazes.h.i.+ro had.

And she wished to meet her mother, but is unable to continue on, and end up spending the night alone.

She’s harboring all the tears within herself, unable to like a spoilt child, and could only act tough so clumsily.

“…”

–I finally obtained a delinquent’s body I always wanted! I now fear nothing!

I recall her words.

I guess she wasn’t joking back then.

She wanted to be stronger. That’s why she felt incompetent when she’s reborn in my body, and wanted to try living on again, not as Hikari Yumesaki, but as Akituki Sakamoto, as my other half.

That girl never said anything about herself when she was alive. Perhaps she was trying to abandon her past, and it’s because of this that she remained at the watermelon fields, unwilling to continue on. She doesn’t want this most important person, the one she’s living with, to get involved, but because of fate, she met Kazes.h.i.+ro, who wanted revenge.

“I’ll hand this to you.””

A solemn sound slid across the top of the student handbook placed on the tale.

“That girl’s really fragile, always wanting to be stronger, and cried several times due to numerous setbacks. But she’s kinder than anyone else.”

Yeah, I know that.

“When there’s a kid crying, she’ll cry with him, and she’ll protect those weaker than her. She’s really a kind girl who’s kinder than anyone else, the kindest person in the world.”

I know that. I know that very well.

“So I hope that you won’t forget about that kid’s kindness. When you look at that student handbook, I hope that you’ll think about her, even if it’s just a little.

“…”

A kind girl.

A girl who’s kinder than anyone else.

And that’s why she got hurt as a result.

Suffering alone, being lonely in a place I don’t know of.

“…Can I come back again?”

My trembling voice is corroded by tears.

“I’ve a friend who’s always suffering, going through hards.h.i.+ps. That girl’s really kind, but also very fragile. However, I can’t even comfort her. I guess it’s because I’m too weak–. Thus, until I become stronger, until I become strong enough to support that girl, please allow me to come back, to this place where Hikari Yumesaki slept so peacefully–”

My eyes were staring at the world with the sun’s eye sifting through the thick clouds.

The tears blurred my vision, and her beautiful face is faltering.

“Akitsuki.”

That clear voice permeated through my heart.

“Please come back. I shall always be waiting for you.”

Definitely.

No matter whether I’m crying or sad, I’ll always make sure this girl’s by her mother’s side.

I’ll let her mother wipe her tears in my place, because I can’t do that.

And I whimpered in this dim, dazzling world.

“Please enter.”

I stepped inside.

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