Part 12 (1/2)

”Good?” He smiles, gesturing to the drink.

”Amazing,” I admit, taking another long sip.

”Val makes the best mixed drinks,” Decklan interjects, pulling my attention to where he has slid in next to Kimber and now has her small frame tucked against him.

”I think I have to agree,” I admit, taking another drink.

I honestly don't know if the drink is really that good or if I'm just so desperate to numb the storm brewing inside of me that I'm not even really registering what it tastes like. Either way, I can tell almost immediately that it's doing the trick.

Slowly- over the course of the next few minutes- I feel the warmth start to spread across my face, the amount of liquor in the drink clearly more than I originally thought. I relish in the feeling, loving how little by little my fear and uneasiness start to fall into the background, and I find myself rather enjoying the casual conversation that floats among the four of us.

Watching Decklan and Gavin is like watching an old married couple. They bicker back and forth, disagree about everything, and never seem to see eye to eye, but the bond between them is undeniable.

By my second drink I am an active partic.i.p.ant at the table, retelling the story of how when we were seventeen, Angel and I were forced to walk two miles home completely naked. It was late one summer night after her brother's friend had stolen our clothes when we decided to take them off and jump into the local swimming pond.

First and last time I've ever been skinny dipping. Having to walk two miles in the middle of the night, ducking behind trees to avoid being seen was enough to teach me my lesson there. My feet hurt for days afterward considering along with no clothes, I also had no shoes.

I swear I think Kimber laughed harder than I've ever seen her laugh before. Probably because she knows me and Angel both very well and picturing this little adventure is not that hard for her to do.

The guys spend the next hour retelling their own stories from childhood. Decklan jumping an old dirt bike over two derby cars and nearly breaking his neck. Gavin getting so high that he spent two hours laying in the gra.s.s, watching the stars as he sung himself lullabies.

Drink after drink, hour after hour, time just seems to slip away. I'm completely captivated by Gavin; watching him speak, watching his reaction when Decklan tells us something funny from their past.

I swear I fall harder and harder with each second that ticks by until I can no longer even remember why I was hesitant to begin with. His eyes, his smile, the way he looks at me when he catches me staring; I swear I could spend the rest of my life just staring at this beautiful man.

We end up staying at the bar well past close. Paxton joins us after his last set and the stories continue well into the early morning hours. By the time Gavin finally leads me to the truck, the sun has already started to peek out over the horizon.

Stopping just feet from his truck, I look over to find him watching me curiously.

”What?” I ask, suddenly self-conscious.

”You're f.u.c.king beautiful, you know that?” His crooked smile is enough to send my heart galloping inside my chest.

”I'm also very hungry.” I crinkle my nose, reaching for his hand.

The second his fingers close around mine, I tug, pulling him toward me.

”What's a girl gotta do to get some pancakes around here?” I tease, pus.h.i.+ng up to lay a gentle kiss to his mouth before pulling back.

”I can think of a few things,” he teases, tightening his grip on me.

”After pancakes.” I kiss him again, loving how at ease I suddenly feel with him.

”Fine. After pancakes.” He smiles, laying his lips to mine once more.

Chapter Fourteen.

Harlee Returning to my dorm room after spending the weekend with Gavin feels more like entering an alternate universe rather than stepping back into my normal life. I spend most of the afternoon cat napping, considering I never actually went to bed Sunday night.

By five o'clock, I am up and as determined as ever to set this whole mess straight once and for all. Kimber's right. I need to make a decision and stick with it.

Holding my cell phone in my hand, I stare at it for a long moment before finally pressing Bryan's number. I feel like my heart is beating out of my chest as it rings; once, twice, his voice finally sounding on the line before it can ring a third time.

”Hey.” I can hear the usual smile in his voice.

”Hey.”

”How was Portland?” he asks.

”It was fun. I enjoyed myself.” Guilt floods through me all over again.

”Good. I'm glad. But I missed the h.e.l.l out of you.”

”I missed you, too.”

I wish I could say my statement is the truth, but honestly, I thought very little about him for most of the weekend. I was too caught up in Gavin to really see anything past that incredible smile of his.

”Do you think you can come over?” I ask, silently praying that he says no.

I know I need to get this over with, but I really don't know how I'm going to. Just talking to him reminds me what an amazing guy he is. When I close my eyes I can see his messy hair and laid back smile.

He has this incredible way of making me feel so comfortable, no matter what's going on around us. He makes me laugh. He's dependable. He gets along with everyone. And most importantly, he doesn't play games, which is more than I can say for Gavin.

My heart knows what it wants... Gavin. But my head is still battling back and forth between the sensible, smart choice and the choice that lights my soul on fire.

”Oh, babe. I wish I could.” Bryan's voice pulls me from my inner battle and back to the present conversation. ”I have my Ethics cla.s.s in ten minutes. Monday night remember?” he reminds me.

”Oh, that's right. I forgot you have two evening cla.s.ses this semester.”

”How about dinner tomorrow night?” he suggests.

”Yeah okay, that sounds good,” I agree, for the first time realizing that meeting him in public might be easier.

At least that way he will be less likely to cause a scene when I drop the bomb on him that I've fallen in love with another man. Oh G.o.d, he has no idea this is even coming and here I'm just going to walk in there and crush him.

Panic tightens my chest, making it almost impossible to suck in a good breath.

”Harlee, did you hear me?” Bryan's voice washes over me.

”What?” The word comes out breathless.

”Are you okay?” He seems genuinely concerned which only adds to the guilt.

”I'm fine. Sorry, I didn't get much sleep this weekend.” I try to reel myself back in.