Part 10 (1/2)
”But I need a little more time,” I finally add to my previous statement after several long moments. ”Can you give me that?” I ask, knowing the last thing I need is to just jump in head first without really thinking this through.
”I'll give you anything you want if it means at the end of the day that I get to call you mine.” He nuzzles against my chest.
”Thank you.”
I don't know if he hears my weak statement. It's more of a whisper that barely breaks the surface, but I don't make any attempt to say it again. Instead, I tighten my arms around Gavin and take a deep inhale of his incredible scent.
I may not know what the future holds. This may end up being the best thing I've ever done or my biggest mistake. All I know is right now he's all I want.
I want to commit every inch of his body to memory. I want to memorize his scent, the sound of his voice, the way his silky hair feels between my fingers. I want to remember every single detail of the moments I have with him.
Because with a man like Gavin Porter, you never know how long they'll last...
Chapter Twelve.
Harlee ”So you have two sisters?” I ask, my fingers tracing lazy circles across Gavin's stomach as I lay curled into him with my head resting on his chest. ”But no brothers?” I continue.
”I have two brothers,” he corrects. ”Decklan and Paxton.”
”You know what I mean,” I interject.
”I do and I answered.” He chuckles lightly, his chest vibrating against my ear.
”So Mia is how old again?” I ask, just trying to make sure I have all my facts straight about him.
I'm desperate to know every detail about this man's life. I don't know why, but in a way the more I learn the closer I feel to him. And I want, no I need, to feel that closeness right now. I'm grasping at anything and everything that will calm the quake inside of me that's raging below the surface.
Fear. Love. Guilt. It all bleeds together, leaving me with a thick knot in the pit of my stomach.
”She's thirty-two,” he answers on a yawn, resting his cheek against the top of my head. ”And Charlie is twenty-one. While I'm at it, my mom is fifty-eight. Anything else?” He fakes annoyance.
”Shut up.” I lightly smack his stomach with my hand. ”Was it hard growing up with two sisters I mean?”
”Not really. I mean, Deck and I were inseparable as kids. h.e.l.l, he practically lived at my house years before he actually moved in with us, so it always felt like I had a brother, too. What about you?”
”Only child.” I try to play off the spike in my voice by quickly continuing. ”I liked it better that way. No one to compete with.” I laugh lightly, doing my best to mask how completely uncomfortable I am talking about my childhood.
While I'm dying to know everything about him, there are parts of myself I'm not ready to share. There are things that I haven't even told Kimber despite the fact that one of the reasons we bonded so quickly was because of our mutual dislike for our parents.
Only Angel knows everything. My mom. The way I found her. I shake away the thought, determined to not let the demons of my past ruin the otherwise perfect moment Gavin and I are sharing.
”What about your parents? Do they still live around here?” he asks, already knowing that I graduated from the same high school as him and Decklan. Of course, that was six years later so we never crossed paths.
”My mom died when I was ten,” I admit, knowing that he probably already knows this or will eventually find out. It's not like it's some big secret.
”I'm so sorry.” His arms tighten around me and for a moment I take comfort in his embrace, letting myself feel a small sliver of sadness for the mother I never got to have, for the one I had to bury nearly ten years ago.
”It was a long time ago.” I shrug.
”And your father?” He speaks against the top of my head, his grip on me not lessening.
”He lives about an hour south of here,” I answer truthfully. I just leave out the part where his residence is Oregon State Penitentiary.
”Do you see him often?” he asks, clearly not realizing that his questions are digging into a very sore subject for me.
”Not really. We aren't close,” I admit.
Now that I think about it, it's been close to two years since the last time I visited my father. I hate seeing him in there. Despite the fact that he was a lowlife, deadbeat father to me and deserves to be exactly where he is, he's still my family. Seeing him in there was too hard for me, so eventually I just stopped visiting.
”Enough about me.” I prop my chin up on his chest so I can peer up at him, the sight of him causing my chest to constrict.
My G.o.d, this man is beautiful.
”I want to know more about you,” I add.
”I'm pretty simple.” He tucks a strand of hair behind my ears. ”What you see is what you get, baby.” His mouth turns up in a crooked smile.
”Somehow I find that hard to believe.” I roll my eyes, pus.h.i.+ng myself up into a sitting position. ”I do have a question, though.”
”Shoot.”
”Well, more of an observation really. You haven't smoked since I've been here.”
”I quit,” he replies casually.
”Seriously?” I blurt.
”Yeah, this girl I'm into kinda hates it.” He shrugs, sending my heart pounding all over again.
He quit for me? The thought sends a rush of emotion flooding through me.
”Is that so?” I question playfully.
”Yeah, apparently it's really bad for me.” He gives me a wide grin.
”So I've heard.” I laugh, shaking my head at him before s.h.i.+fting toward the edge of the bed.
”Hey! Where are you going?” He grabs for me just seconds after I slide out of his reach, sitting up in bed with a playful scowl on his face.
”You can't expect to keep me prisoner here all weekend and not feed me,” I whine, grabbing his vintage looking Seattle Mariners t-s.h.i.+rt from the floor.
I smile and take a deep inhale the moment I slide the material over my head. His scent instantly engulfs me, and I love the way it smells against my skin.
”Oh, I'll feed you alright.” He gives me a wicked smile before throwing the covers back, revealing his still very naked torso.
I can't stop my eyes from trailing down the length of him. I swear there is not one inch of this man that is not complete perfection.