Part 49 (1/1)
”I did not ave me time to read; and I collected nearly a thousand books of my own before I married If I had had real application--as all the Asquiths have-- I should by now be a well-educated woman; but this I never had I am not at all dull, and never stale, but I don't seeood memory for books and conversations, but bad for poetry and dates; wonderful for faces and pitiful for names
”Physically I have done pretty well for myself I ride better than most people and have spent or wasted ht to I have broken both collar-bones, all my ribs and ashed h my horses are to be sold next week [Footnote: My horses were sold at Tattersalls, June 11th, 1906]--I have not lost my nerve I dance, drive and skate well; I don't skate very well, but I dance really well I have a talent for drawing and a the piano with a touch of the real thing, but have neglected both these accoe and five babies, five step-children and a husband in high politics have all contributed to this neglect, but the root of the , what I have enjoyed doing reat deal, but do not fancy publishi+ng my exercises I have always kept a diary and commonplace books and forI read It is rather difficult for
Arthur Balfour once said that I was the best letter-writer he knew; Henry tells me I write well; and Sy of the kind that I like reading I cannot do: it is a long apprenticeshi+p Possibly, if I had had this apprenticeshi+p forced upon me by circu else I am a careful critic of all I read and I do not take ot 'a lending-library mind' as Henry well described that of a friend of ours I do not takefroh one--I inal
”When I read Arthur Balfour's books and essays, I realised before I had heard them discussed what a beautiful style he wrote
Raymond, whose intellectual taste is as fine as his father's, wrote in a paper for his All Souls Fellowshi+p that Arthur had the finest style of any living writer; and Raymond and Henry often justify e I have been a collector: not of anything particularly valuable, but of letters, old photographs of the fas Our cigarette ash-trays are plates froot china, books, whips, knives, iven me since I was a small child I have kept our early copy-books, with all the fa landmarks of nursery life I a indecision, change of plans and the egotism that they involve I am a little stern and severe except with children: for these I have endless elasticity and patience Many of my faults are physical If I could have chosen my own life-- more in the hills and less in the traffic--I should have slept better and ht and disturbable But after all I may improve, for I am on a man-of-war, as a friend once said toon a pirate-shi+p and is a profession in itself
”Well, I have finished; I have tried to relate of my manners, morals, talents, defects, temptations, and appearance as faithfully as I can; and I think there is nothing more to be said
If I had to confess and expose one opinon of ht differentiate me a little from other people, I should say it was my power of love coupled with my power of criticism, but what I lack most is what Henry possesses above all men: equanimity, moderation, self-control and the authority that comes from a perfect sense of proportion I can only pray that I am not too old or too stationary to acquire these
MARGOT ASQUITH
”PS This is my second attempt to write about myself and I am not at all sure that my old character-sketch of 1888 is not the better of the two--it is more external--but, after all, what can one say of one's inner self that corresponds hat one really is or what one's friends think one is? Just now I am within a feeeks of loomy view I am inclined to sum up my life in this way:
”'An unfettered childhood and triu and a little abuse; a little fareat happiness; the love of children and seventh heaven; an early death and a crowded memorial service'
”But perhaps I shall not die, but live to write another volume of this diary and a better description of an improved self”
THE END OF BOOK TWO