Part 7 (1/2)
I sat on the stairs listening to the roar of London and the clock in the library The doctor--Matthews Duncan--patted my head whenever he passed entle Scotch accent:
”'Poor little girl! Poor, poor little girl!'
”I was glad he did not say that 'while there was life there was hope,' or any of the medical platitudes, or I would have replied that he LIED There was no hope--none!
”One afternoon I ith Lucy to St George's, Hanover Square
The oldout the church; and we knelt and prayed
Laura and I have often knelt side by side at that altar and I never feel alone when I am in front of the mysterious Christ- picture, with its bars of violet and bunches of grapes
”On my return I went upstairs and lay on the floor of Laura's bedroo by her side with his arle candle behind her head transfigured her lovely hair into a halo Suddenly Laura opened her eyes and, turning them slowly on Charty, said:
”'You are HEAVENLY! '
”A long pause, and then while ere all three drawing near her bed we heard her say:
”'I think God has forgotten ; every shadow see with pity on the silence of that roo silence that has never been broken
”I did not go hoone to the early Communion, but I had not acco I must have fallen into a heavy sleep, when suddenly I felt sobeside me She said in a calm voice:
”'My dear, you must come Don't look like that; you won't be able to walk'
”Able to walk! Of course I was! I was in own and downstairs in a flash and on to the bed The room was full of people I lay with my arm under Laura, as I did in the old Glen days, when after our quarrels we crept into each other's beds to'ainst his forehead; and Charty was kneeling at her feet
”She looked much the same, but a deeper shadow ran under her brow and her ainst her shoulder and felt the sharpness of her spine For a minute we lay close to each other, while the sun, fresh from the dawn, played upon the -blindsThen her breathing stopped; she gave a shi+ver and diedThe silence was so great that I heard the flight of Death and thesalute her soul
”I went downstairs and took her will out of the drahere she had put it and told Alfred what she had asked aunt and fervid, was standing up saying a prayer When he had finished I read the will through:
My Will [Footnote: The only part of the will I have left out is a few names with blank spaces which she intended to fill up], made by me, Laura Mary Octavia Lyttelton, February, 1886
”I have notmy treasure deep in my heart where no one can reach it, and where even Death cannot enter But there are soates of my Joy House that in some hts of love, belong to those who have entered there I should like Alfred to give these things to my friends, not because my friends will care sowhere I loved to be
”I want, first of all, to tell Alfred that all I have in the world and all I as to him, and to hi that speaks to him of a joy unknown to me, or that he holds dear for any reason wise or unwise, it is his, and ive him and me
”So feomen have been as happy as I have been every hour since I married--so few have had such a wonderful sky of love for their coe when I write down that the sadness of Death and Parting is greatly lessened to me by the fact of my consciousness of the eternal, indivisible oneness of Alfred andas he is down here Ibeside hi noever much my soul is the other side, and that if Alfred were to die, ould be as ere on earth, love as we did this year, only fuller, quicker, deeper than ever, with a purer passion and a wiser worshi+p Only in the meantime, whilst my body is hid from him and my eyes cannot see hi co will matter because all is spirit
”If my baby lives I should like it to have my pearls I do not love my diamond necklace, so I won't leave it to any one
”I would like Alfred to have my Bible It has always rather worried his; but if I know I a, I will clean it out, because, I suppose, he won't like to after I think I am fonder of it--not, I mean, because it's the Bible--but because it's such a friend, and has been alith me, chiefly underI possess, and I used to read it a great deal when I was much better than I am now I love it very much, so, Alfred, you must keep it for me
”Then the prayer book Francie [Footnote: Lady Horner, of Mells]
gave me is what I love next, and I love it so ot wants a prayer book, so I leave it to her It is so dirty outside, but perhaps it would be a pity to bind it Margot is to have ht, too
”Then Charty is to have my paste necklace she likes, and any two prints she cares to have, and my little trefeuille diamond brooch --oh! and the Hope she painted for me I love it very much, and my amethyst beads
”Little Barbara is to have my blue watch, and Tommy my watch-- there is no chain
”Then Lucy is to have o the happiest days of ot to know Francie, and she wore that belt in the blue days at St Moritz e met her at church and I became her lover; and I want Lucy to have aun Madonna and Baby--dear little potbellied baby, sucking his little sacred thueon-house turret I bought it myself, and do rather think it was clever of me--all for a pound