Part 38 (1/2)
He shook his head. ”I used to think that, but I know better now.”
She squeezed the wood to hide the trembling of her hands. ”You know nothing.” She'd never been able to hide her feelings well, but d.a.m.ned if she'd let him see how his words shook her. This wasn't supposed to happen. ”You're a fool if you trust me.”
He wandered across the room, the darkness swallowing him. Fayth was uneasy with him out of sight, though she heard him moving around, rummaging through the room's contents. A moment later he reappeared, carrying a silver casket.
”I pretended to be a wh.o.r.e,” Fayth insisted, ”and let a horde of Grahams into your brother's home. They murdered your people and stole Lord Annan's wife.” She lifted her chin a notch. She'd refused to contemplate what she'd done for so long, buried it because the shame and regret were too much to bear. But she must take responsibility and what better time than now, when Alex stood there proclaiming her to be something she wasn't.
”That was my doing,” she said, holding his gaze. ”I am responsible for your people's misery. I am responsible for Lord Annan's unhappiness-for my own sister's grief.” She swallowed hard and stiffened her spine. ”I nearly ruined her life. And I did it all willingly.”
He said nothing for a long time. He opened the casket and began sifting though it. Her jaw clenched tighter and tighter until she thought it would snap. Why didn't he speak? Did he not hear her? Did he not understand what a mistake it was to put his trust in her?
He glanced up at her. ”You say you did it all willingly? You kissed me... willingly?”
She rolled her eyes. Trust a man to hear nothing but what pertained to his s.e.xual prowess. ”Yes, after a fas.h.i.+on. I did what I had to. I needed to let in Wesley and his men. You stood between me and the door.”
He nodded absently. ”I'm confused... You kidnapped Caroline, but then almost immediately released her to a convent. A Scottish convent, where she could easily get word to my brother.”
”That's what she wanted.”
His brow furrowed. ”All that, just to take her to a nearby convent? No one had to die. Rob would have let her visit it.”
Fayth sighed. ”That's not what I meant. All her life she wanted to be a nun. Papa had promised us both some say in our future. He granted Caroline her wish to take the veil, and me, my wish to marry whom I chose. But then Papa died and Ridley forced Caroline to marry your brother.” Fayth tried to find the words to explain Caroline to him, how very exceptional and different she was. ”She's not like us... she would never run from what she sees as her duty.”
”And so you set out to rescue her.”
”Yes... at least that's what I thought I was doing.”
”But it turned out Caroline was quite happy married to my brother.”
Fayth raised her brows censoriously. ”What I saw of their marriage looked far from blissful... but what do I know? He was a beast and she was crying.” Of course, Alex couldn't understand the significance of Caroline shedding tears, but it had been a shock and a horror to Fayth, who had never seen her sister weep, or rage, or even laugh. ”But you're right. She later claimed to love him. I didn't understand... I wouldn't listen-after all, he's a Maxwell. And there was Jack...” Her gaze dropped to her hands, now folded in her lap. She didn't want to think of Jack. Didn't know why she was telling these things to Alex, things she'd never spoken of to anyone, but it felt good to finally let it out. She didn't want to stop. ”And now she hates me. Being Caroline, she'll probably forgive me, but she'll never trust me. Will never look on me in the same manner.”
Alex held an ivory-handled mirror in his hand. ”Was it your idea, to come to Annancreag and rescue Caroline?”
Fayth nodded, then shook her head. ”Well, Ridley sent me for the Clachan Fala. He believed it would be delivered to Annancreag after Caroline and Lord Annan wed. I was to take it if I could and escape. Or let Wesley and his men in to subdue the Maxwells and steal the Blood Stone. But that's not why I went... well, not completely. He said, if I did that for him, I wouldn't have to wed Carlisle. But taking Caroline was my idea.”
”He didn't want Caroline to be rescued?”
”He didn't care... but if I found the Blood Stone, he said we could bring her along.”
”Ah...” Alex said, rifling through the casket again. He stood just outside the candelabra's light, his expression hidden from her.
”What does that mean?”
”You didn't find the Blood Stone.”
”No.”
”And you took your sister anyway.”
She felt as if she were standing before Ridley again, being interrogated. The same anger and impatience bubbled to the surface. ”Exactly! I failed because I'm such a thoughtless fool! I condemned myself to Carlisle.”