Part 25 (1/2)
”I see! I think I quite understand!” said Morgana--”And it is just what I have always imagined--there is no great happiness in marriage. If it is only a matter of 'rubbing along pleasantly together' two friends can always do that without any 's.e.x' attraction, or tying themselves up together for life. And it's not much joy to bring children into the world and waste treasures of love on them, if after you have done all you can, they leave you without a regret,--like the birds that fly from a nest when once they know how to use their wings.”
Lady Kingswood's eyes were sorrowful.
”My daughter was a very pretty girl,”--she said--”Her father and I were proud of her looks and her charm of manner. We spared every s.h.i.+lling we could to give her the best and most careful education--and we surrounded her with as much pleasure and comfort at home as possible,--but at the first experience of 'society,' and the flattery of strangers, she left us. Her choice of a husband was most unfortunate--but she would not listen to our advice, though we had loved her so much--she thought 'he' loved her more.”
Morgana lifted her eyes. The ”fey” light was glittering in them.
”Yes! She thought he loved her! That's what many a woman thinks--that 'he'--the particular 'he' loves her! But how seldom he does! How much more often he loves himself!”
”You must not be cynical, my dear!” said Lady Kingswood, gently--”Life is certainly full of disappointments, especially in love and marriage--but we must endure our sorrows patiently and believe that G.o.d does everything for the best.”
This was the usual panacea which the excellent lady offered for all troubles, and Morgana smiled.
”Yes!--it must be hard work for G.o.d!” she said--”Cruel work! To do everything for the best and to find it being turned into the worst by the very creatures one seeks to benefit, must be positive torture!
Well, dear 'd.u.c.h.ess,' I asked you all these questions about love and marriage just to know if you could say anything that might alter my views--but you have confirmed them. I feel that there is no such thing in the world as the love _I_ want--and marriage without it would be worse than any imagined h.e.l.l. So I shall not marry.”
Lady Kingswood's face expressed a mild tolerance.
”You say that just now”--she said--”But I think you will alter your mind some day! You would not like to be quite alone always--not even in the Palazzo d'Oro.”
”YOU are quite alone?”
”Ah, but I am an old woman, my dear! I have lived my day!”
”That's not true,” said Morgana, decisively--”You have not 'lived your day' since you are living NOW! And if you are old, that is just a reason why you should NOT be alone. But you ARE. Your husband is dead, and your daughter has other ties. So even marriage left you high and dry on the rocks as it were till my little boat came along and took you off them!”
”A very welcome little boat!” said Lady Kingswood, with feeling--”A rescue in the nick of time!”
”Never mind that!” and Morgan waved her pretty hand expressively--”My point is that marriage--just marriage--has not done much for you. It is what women clamour for, and scheme for,--and nine out of ten regret the whole business when they have had their way. There are so many more things in life worth winning!”
Lady Kingswood looked at her interestedly. She made a pretty picture just then in her white morning gown, seated in a low basket chair with pale blue silk cus.h.i.+ons behind her on which her golden head rested with the brightness of a daffodil.
”So many more things!” she repeated--”My air-s.h.i.+p for instance!--it's worth all the men and all the marriages I've ever heard of! My beloved 'White Eagle!'--my own creation--my baby--SUCH a baby!” She laughed.
”But I must learn to fly with it alone!”
”I hope you will do nothing ras.h.!.+”--said Lady Kingswood, mildly; she was very ignorant of modern discovery and invention, and all attempt to explain anything of the kind to her would have been a hope less business--”I understand that it is always necessary to take a pilot and an observer in these terrible sky-machines--”
She was interrupted by a gay little peal of laughter from Morgana.
”Terrible?--Oh, dear 'd.u.c.h.ess,' you are too funny! There's nothing 'terrible' about MY 'sky-machine!' Do you ever read poetry? No?--Well then you don't know that lovely and prophetic line of Keats--”
'Beautiful things made new For the surprise of the sky-children.'
”Poets are always prophetic,--that is, REAL poets, not modern verse mongers; and I fancy Keats must have imagined something in the far distant future like my 'White Eagle!' For it really IS 'a beautiful thing made new'--a beautiful natural force put to new uses--and who knows?--I may yet surprise those 'sky-children!'”
Lady Kingswood's mind floundered helplessly in this flood of what, to her, was incomprehensibility. Morgana went on in the sweet fluting voice which was one of her special charms.
”If you haven't read Keats, you must have read at some time or other the 'Arabian Nights' and the story of 'Sindbad the Sailor'? Yes? You think you have? Well, you know how poor Sindbad got into the Valley of Diamonds and waited for an eagle to fly down and carry him off! That's just like me! I've been dropped into a Valley of Diamonds and often wondered how I should escape--but the Eagle has arrived!”
”I'm afraid I don't quite follow you”--said Lady Kingswood--”I'm rather dense, you know! Surely your Valley of Diamonds--if you mean wealth--has made your 'Eagle' possible?”