Part 6 (1/2)
2 At parties and social gatherings, I do not attes that others will like
3 I can only argue for ideas which I already believe in
4 I can make impromptu speeches even on topics about which I have aluess I put on a show to iood actor
7 In a group of people I am rarely the centre of attention
8 In different situations and with different people, I often act like a very different person
9 I a other people like me
10 I'm not always the person I appear to be
11 I would not change s) in order to please so an entertainer
13 I have never been good at ga
14 I have trouble changing my behavior to suit different people and different situations
15 At a party I let others keep the jokes and stories going
16 I feel a bit aard in a company and do not show up quite as well as I should
17 I can look anyone in the eye and tell a lie with a straight face (if for a the right end)
18 Ifriendly when I really dislike theh self-monitors and 9 statements which are true of low self-monitors Thus, if you indicated T for Q 46, 8, 10, 12, 1718 and F for Q 13, 7, 9, 11, 1316, you are a very high- individual You are likely to be extree
On contrary, if you marked T for Q 13, 7, 9, 11, 1316 and F for Q 46, 8, 10, 12, 1718, you are a true low self-monitor You do not pay much attention to either your own or others nonverbal behaviors in social interactions
Aand disagreeing with both high and low self-e score would represent a person who is adept at reading soree of control over their own nonverbal behavior, but does not take too e in their social life
There is a skill in being a sender and a skill in being a receiver of nonverbal communication Those who are interested in, and skilled at, people-watching need to know certain facts to understand how and why people behave as they do towards one another:Who the people are and what is their relationshi+p their position, status, relationshi+p, social class, education
The physical and social setting for the behavior the social rules and expectations governing that setting
The real and hidden purpose of the interaction why the people are
The frequency, duration and etiquette associated with the com for a particular purpose, though the latter may not always be clear to the coether with verbal content, enrich the understanding of what is really going on That is why NVC pundits are asked to watch politicians so closely; and why politicians take advice froe This is of particular interest when fa
COMMUNICATING ATtitUDES
We also coe There are clear signals for friendliness and hostility Watching two people talk, even without hearing the content of their speech, it is possible to understand who is or at least feels do, and affiliation, is sent as a her incidence of body contact such as touching or stroking;Closer proxi;An orientation to each other that is often side-by-side;Moreforward, s; andA softer, quieter tone of voice
Equally, hunals look remarkably like those of ani and a tense posture
There is evidence off all sorts of sex differences, but these are also related to particular personality types and particular cultures Thus, compared toposture to her status Males, coilance in relation to physical threat aze and a eneral, people with psychotic disorders are very poor readers of body language, while neurotic people are particularly good, being highly sensitive to signals of rejection Overall, women seem more sensitive than men, particularly where the latter are in technical professions Most often we disclose our ened to cope with anxiety, aggression or boredoh excessive preening/groo, drinking or snizable behaviors such as foot-tapping, fiddling with objects and pretending to read (flicking throughin)
Crowding at concerts or cinemas, in elevators and on trains or buses results in unavoidable intrusion into other people's inti to observe There is a list of unwritten rules that people in Western cultures follow rigidly when faced with a crowded situation such as a packed lift or public transport These rules include the following:You are not per a person you know
You must avoid eye contact with others at all times
You are to maintain a ”poker face” no emotion must be displayed
If you have a book or newspaper, you rossed in it
In elevators, you are compelled to watch the floor numbers above your head
We often hear words like ”miserable”, ”unhappy” and ”despondent” used to describe people who travel to work in the rush hour on public transport These labels are used because of the blank, expressionless look on the faces of travellers, but they are ments on the part of the observer What the observer sees, in fact, is a group of people adhering to the rules that apply to the unavoidable invasion of their intimate zones in the crowded public space
Source: Pease (1990), p 22
Sons in everyday conversation are shown in Table 42
Our ability to attribute other people's states and attitudes relies on reading the body language A surprised person looks so because their initial body expression has changed to a ”new look” The effect quickly passes and the nonverbal behavior typical to the person resumes
Attitudes (like/dislike; approve/disapprove) are judgs, objects, people and so on These are not stable, but rely on immediately available information, most of which is provided via the nonverbal systements or attitudes can be, and constantly are, altered
TABLE 42 Nonverbal signs in everyday conversation
INTUITION
To describe sohtfulparticularly nonverbally literate So bodily cues so that they can understand their clients better Psychologists and GPs, waiters and coreat deal if they are able to understand the motives, reactions and emotional states of their ”clients”