Part 43 (2/2)

And that's called?

[Pause.] s.h.i.+t... Rationalization....

There isn't any vague ”somebody” out there that you can put this off on. You're the one that's responsible for your own behavior. n.o.body else.

It smelled so d.a.m.n good. You can always smell the difference between human brains and cow brains. So d.a.m.n good.

This is a slip, Michael, not a relapse. The Colonel is going to have somebody keeping a close eye on you. First time you look like you're even thinking about biting somebody, it's a bullet in the head.

I gotta tell you, your brains smell great, Mr. Harper.

This isn't about me, Michael.

I mean, sometimes I wake up dreaming about eating your brains. Like they would taste better than any other brains in the whole world. I would soooo love to eat your brains.

That's called ”transference.” It happens in therapy sometimes. If you spend time obsessing about my brains, you don't have to face your own issues.

I bet I could just jump over the desk, and-

But you won't. [Sound of sh.e.l.l being jacked into twelve-gauge pump shotgun.] Michael... you're a slow zombie. I'd blow your head off before you got completely out of the chair. You know that you wouldn't be the first.

f.u.c.k. Sometimes I wish I was a fast zombie.

They're all gone. They were an evolutionary dead end. Every human still alive has killed hundreds of zombies, fast and slow, Michael. Being slow is what saved you.

c.r.a.p. Yeah, I know. You need guys like me.

You're a great plumber, even if you are undead. Please open your bucket. Now.

[Pause.]

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