Chapter 96 (2/2)
”En?” Ning Errong became interested. She hurriedly poured a cup of tea and pushed into Nie Sangyu's hand. ”Tell me, tell me.”
Ji Man spread out a fine writing paper and drew three circles on it. In a serious tone, she said, ”From the time you marry, your family will be like a tripod. One leg is you, another leg is your mother-in-law, and the last leg is your husband.”
Errong nodded. Her face showed a little bit of a young woman's bashfulness.
”First of all, you can't always go along with what your husband wants. Although the rules say obedience to your husband after marriage and you should listen to him about the important matters, you should still have your own viewpoint about the minor things. You should handle matters properly and skillfully. Moreover, sometimes you should refuse his s.e.xual advances. No matter how good a piece of meat is, if you just put it into his mouth of your own initiative, he won't cherish it. Do you understand? This is what's meant by the saying, you need loosen the reins in order to grasp them better.”
Ji Man drew a squiggly line between two circles to indicate the relations.h.i.+p between a wife and a husband.
Errong's face was thoroughly red from embarra.s.sment. She tried stammering something twice, but wasn't able to say anything. In the end, she hesitantly nodded.
Ji Man explained with a smile, ”As long as a family has a mother-in-law, you'll have to work hard to get good results. Do you know why Old Madame doesn't like Wen Wan?”
”She's not the person that Old Madame selected to be her daughter-in-law,” Errong said.
”That's one of the reasons. The other reason is that she had committed too many taboos.”
Ji Man pushed up her nonexistent gla.s.ses on her nose. With her back straight, she said, ”Old Madame had suffered bitter hards.h.i.+ps in order to raise the marquis into adulthood. If Wen Wan wants to be a good daughter-in-law, then she can't let Old Madame feel as if she's stealing her son from her. The way she treats Old Madame has to be better than the way she treats the marquis. Moreover, she absolutely can't act intimate in front of Old Madame. A woman's jealous heart doesn't distinguish between age, especially the feelings a mother feels towards a son that she had raised from childhood. The moment that Old Madame feels abandoned because the the love between them is strong, Wen Wan, as her daughter-in-law, can't expect to have any good days.”
Errong suddenly understood. ”So, it was like that. But, there are aspects where Wen Wan is doing a good job. Isn't Old Madame still deliberately making life difficult for her?”
”She's making life difficult for her because she's committed taboos at the beginning. Since Wen Wan already had to swallow down her anger, she should just tolerate it and stay silent for a while longer. You can't argue right or wrong with someone that's in older generation than you. Even if you win the argument, nothing good will come of it.” Ji Man continued, ”If Wen Wan truly loves the marquis, she should treat Old Madame as if she's her own biological mother. She should treat it as if she's paying off a debt of grat.i.tude. How difficult could it be to just endure it for a while?”
Errong tilted her chin as she looked up and thought of Nie Clan's matriarch. She had heard that she also wasn't an easy woman to get along with. She should spend more time learning how to deal with her future mother-in-law.
”There's also another very important point that's the essence of getting along well with your mother-in-law. You have to let her feel that you're treating her son very well,” Ji Man said. ”Sang… I used to do a very good job in this aspect. Other than causing a disturbance over significant issues, I would send the marquis soups and other drinks every day and personally embroidered all of his clothes. But, the marquis never appreciated my efforts. Old Madame was especially fond of me because I wa.s.so caring towards the marquis, but he never acknowledged my efforts. Do you understand?”
Errong's eyes brightened and she forcefully nodded, ”I understand!”
After a pause, she added, ”Can you write this out for me?”
Ji Man shook her head, ”You have to understand this type of thing thoroughly and intuitively. If I write this down and someone else sees it, it'll only be a source of catastrophe.”
”Oh.” Errong reached her hand out and took the rice paper that was on the table. Her mouth began to mumble the words that Nie Sangyu had recently said.
Translator Ramblings: What do you guys think of Ji Man's advice? If you want to read a spoiler of whether or not her advice will be helpful for Errong, I put one in the comments below.