Part 14 (1/2)
THE CHAMBERLAIN: His name is Slarn.
ARCHIE SYLVEST: He's 'a tall man with a grey, matted thatch of hair that [won't] lie neatly however much it [is] combed. His face [is] florid and his waist thick from drinking too much Voxnic', but that's okay, because both girth and Voxnic are very chic this season. He loves his wife, but that doesn't stop him 'drinking too much Voxnic with computer programmer Vestal Smith, a person of deep warmth, deep personal understanding and even deeper blue eyes.' He '[wallows] in the company of his students' and '[revels] in the respect shown by his fellow lecturers'. In fact, the only thing that scares him are his sons! He desperately wants to kill them, which his psychiatrist feels is quite normal. He even goes so far to suggest to Archie that he plan out the perfect murder in his head, which will either allow him to find a calm, positive, non-violent solution to his problem, or give him the means to kill his kids and get away with it.
NIMO SYLVEST: Wife of Archie. Instead of becoming an alcoholic, she covers her fear with 'the acc.u.mulation of academic degrees.' Even she, however, is starting 'to wonder whether embarking on a fifth Ph.D [is] really a worthwhile way for a grown-up person to spend their time.'
THE SYLVEST FAMILY: They live in No. 25 on Lydall Street, as part of 'the only Georgian terrace left standing in the metropolis.' The entire family is composed of mathematical geniuses Professor Archie Sylvest, his wife Nimo, and their twin sons, Romulus and Remus.
THE SECTOMS: This is the particular variant of gastropod Mestor represents. They are legendary on Jaconda as 'slugs the size of men...capable of devouring forests, destroying meadows and reducing to desert once fertile land. Not only [do] they support a ma.s.sive appet.i.te, but also a brain and cunning equal to any intelligence in the universe.
MOSTEN ACID: It 'doesn't burn or corrode, but ages whatever is immersed in it by a unique process of dehydration.' It was discovered by 'Professor Vinny Mosten...when on an expedition to the planet Senile Nine.' Mosten was a chemist 'who was visiting the planet to authenticate a recent priceless discovery of Senilian vases and figurines.' He revealed that the artefacts were really 'modern copies, carefully aged' which, when put on auction as authentic, would have formed part of the Senilians' plan to bring a more steady cash flow into their slowing economy. Mosten went on to find the source of the ageing technique, and called a press conference to publicise the acid, but one of the flasks broke and aged him to death. Fortunately, the other was recovered, and
'declared a breakthrough in the science of chemistry.' A use for Mosten acid was found in the shaping of metals into forms (without drilling, filing or any other mechanical technique), and Senile Nine has thrived on the business ever since.
AZMAEL'S DOME: It has a 'kitchen, complete with adjoining storeroom which [contains] enough food to keep a schoolful of hungry children sated for a millennium', bedrooms, laboratories, a greenhouse, a power plant, workshops, a 'compact cinema equipped to show film, video and many other visual mediums', and a 'library, considered the best this side of Magna Twenty-eight'.
THE REVITALISING MODULATOR: It acts like a matter transporter, but 'instead of...transporting [them] to a pre-set destination, the modulator bombards the atoms of the body with Ferrail rays', which 'induces a feeling of well-being and contentment. Although no subst.i.tute for natural sleep, it does allow a person without time for sleep to continue working at maximum efficiency for a short period of time.'
t.i.tAN THREE: Although it is 'accused of being the bleakest, most miserable planet in the universe', it 'is no bleaker than any other small planet devoid of vegetation.' Instead, 'the real problem...is that its thin atmosphere contains a very rare gas nicknamed t.i.tan Melancholia. It isn't at all poisonous, but prolonged inhalation can cause depression in humanoid life forms.'
A colony was originally established 'to house a research unit and monitoring base for the solar system, Maston Viva.' Although the Mastons detected the gas, 'it wasn't until some time later that it was noticed that people who spent more than six months on the planet became strangely depressed.' Eventually, the Mastons 'started to abandon their work in favour of writing long, introverted, painfully self-critical novels and essays. [...] Such was the all pervading gloom of the place that Mein Kampf and the works of Strindberg were read as light comic relief.' While the colonists calmly ignored their duties, 'an enormous burst of radiation wiped out the population of Maston Viva', which could have been prevented had attention been paid to it. Now, 'there was little left for the [colonists] to do. After each of them had completed a long, soul-searching autobiography, they committed ma.s.s suicide.' Since then, n.o.body has chosen to live on t.i.tan Three, although a daily gla.s.s of Voxnic has been found to counteract the effects of t.i.tan Melancholia.
THE FIFTH DOCTOR: His successor says he had a ”f.e.c.kless charm”. Peri remembers him as being ”almost young.”
TIME LORDS: Regeneration explained! It is made possible 'by a ma.s.sive release of a hormone called lindos lindos, which, at lightning speed, is transported around the body causing [its] cells to reform and realign themselves. Although much work has been done by genetic engineers on Gallifrey, the process still remains a random and, in some cases, rather erratic one. Some Time Lords are able to proceed through their allotted twelve regenerations with enormous grace and dignity, growing older and more handsome with each change of shape. Others leap about to a startling degree, finis.h.i.+ng one regeneration a wise and n.o.ble elder, only to start the next a youthful, boastful braggart.' They obviously have some sort of s.e.xual drive, as demonstrated below.