Part 16 (1/2)

He stood slowly, his eyes drifting over her jogging suit in obvious distaste. ”You were out jogging.”

”Very astute of you. What gave me away? The suit itself or the fact that I just returned, still huffing?” She was trembling inside and her stomach was tied in knots, but she hid it well, knowing she'd rather die than have him know how badly he'd hurt her.

Tyler tilted his head, studying her warily. ”I thought we should talk.”

Carlie bent over, placing her hands on her thighs. It looked as though she was trying to catch her breath, but in truth she needed a moment to regain her emotional balance. She hadn't expected to see him again this soon. She wasn't ready. The fact that Tyler was here, so near and looking so handsome made the ch.o.r.e of feigning nonchalance that much more difficult. She drew one last deep breath and straightened.

”I'm sorry, I really can't right now. It's a bad time for me. Papers to grade, lessons to plan. And I have a few phone calls to make.” She smiled politely.

”Carlie...”

”Yes?”

He rubbed the bridge of his nose. ”Things didn't go exactly as I planned the other day. It took me by surprise-”

”That's putting a pretty face on it, Tyler. It shocked the h.e.l.l out of you. And enraged you. And I understand completely. I probably would have felt the same. But I've already apologized. There's nothing more I can do. I can't change what's already been done. Believe me, I wish I could.”

”What would you change, honey?”

Oh, that tone, so sweet and gentle. Carlie forced herself to stand just a little straighter. ”All of it, of course. From the day Brenda invited me to that stupid party, to yesterday. I'd erase it all.” She smiled at him serenely, hoping to put him at ease with her declaration. But it cost her. Her stomach felt so tight now, she feared she might throw up.

Tyler had probably come over with some vague notion that she might pursue him. She'd die first.

He touched her cheek briefly. ”Then I'll be eternally grateful you don't possess magic powers. Because I wouldn't trade the time I've spent with you for anything.” He waited a moment, then added softly, ”I don't really believe you would, either, Carlie.”

CHAPTER TEN.

Oh, G.o.d, oh, G.o.d. He couldn't know that. Carlie summoned a smile, but her serenity had about run out. ”You're wrong.”

”I've been wrong about a lot of things.”

Her eyes widened behind the lenses of her gla.s.ses, and she pressed a hand dramatically to her heart. ”No! Not you, Tyler! Say it isn't so, or all my grand delusions will blow away in the wind.”

”Dammit, Carlie...”

She chuckled. The sound was just a bit rusty, but convincing, all the same. ”Go home, Tyler. It's cold out here, too cold to stand around trading recriminations.” She went up the steps, fis.h.i.+ng her key out of her pocket.

Carlie went inside and then turned to tell Tyler goodbye. He didn't give her the chance. Pus.h.i.+ng his way through, he was over the threshold before Carlie could voice a complaint.

He didn't smile. He closed the door and leaned against it, watching her.

Warily, she faced him. ”What are you doing?”

Tyler hesitated, then shrugged. ”I can help you grade your papers. I still owe you, don't I?”

”I don't remember. But I'd rather you didn't. I don't have time to be distracted.”

He came away from the door. ”Do I distract you, Carlie?”

She blinked at him, then laughed. ”Turn your hormones off, Tyler. I was referring to your inane chatter.”

”You can't be that indifferent to me, Carlie. I was there that night, too, you know. I recall perfectly everything that happened between us.”

Carlie moved away from the heat of his gaze. It was almost tangible, covering her in waves, penetrating her flesh. She sauntered as casually as possible to the kitchen, Tyler following.

She pulled out a chair and lowered herself into it, while all the time her mind was working furiously. This time, it wasn't as easy to affect a carefree air. Her feelings were even more deeply involved now than when she'd first got divorced. She wasn't a kid who had been disillusioned. And her feelings for Tyler surpa.s.sed infatuation.

When Tyler automatically sat opposite her, she regarded him seriously. ”Maybe we should talk.”

He seemed relieved. ”Yes. I want to explain-”

”Let me go first, Tyler.” Her heart was racing, her breath was shallow, but she knew she had to have her say and get it over with as cleanly as possible. Even though it cost her, she leaned forward and placed her hand over his. He couldn't know how hurt she was. Pride was all she had left.

Tyler turned his palm upward, clasping her fingers. ”Tyler,” she started uncertainly, ”what happened between us was nice. I'll grant you that.” His eyes narrowed, and she released his hand. ”Don't interrupt, please. I want you to understand. It was nice, and I believe I already thanked you. But it won't happen again. Ever.”

”I don't believe you.”

”Then once again, I'm sorry. But it's true. If you're determined for us to remain friends, that's fine with me. I like you. You're a good person and you're a lot of fun. But I won't sleep with you again. s.e.x isn't on my agenda. It was an aberration that we got together at all. Call it temporary insanity, and the key word there is 'temporary.'”

”People can't just turn off their emotions, Carlie. You were with me every step of the way that night, and it was a d.a.m.ned sight more than 'nice.' h.e.l.l, it was more than s.e.x, more than anything I've ever known before. It won't go away.”

”There's where you're wrong, Tyler. I can make it go away. I can turn off my feelings with a snap of my fingers. I can do anything I put my mind to. And right now, I'm sending you home.” She stood, but Tyler didn't budge. Carlie couldn't believe he'd thought she would abide a casual affair. Without mutual caring between them, it was impossible. But obviously, Tyler didn't realize that. It was just as obvious he didn't know her at all.

He eyed her speculatively. ”Is that what you're trying to do now? Turn off your feelings, close off your heart. That's no way to live, honey.”

Carlie definitely didn't want Tyler Ramsey rummaging around in her head, trying to decipher what made her click. She gave him a sardonic smile, reminiscent of the Carlie he met so long ago. ”Wait, I think I can unearth some violin music around here somewhere to go with all this melodrama.” She shook her head, ”It's the only way to live, Tyler. At least, for me.”

Tyler looked down at his clasped hands resting on the tabletop. ”I don't think you can do it, Carlie. I think we shared something very special. It may not have been what either of us is used to, but it was still wonderful, almost explosive. And erotic.” He slowly raised his gaze, locking it with hers. ”Someday, I'd like to see you in that harem costume again. I swear, I get aroused just thinking about it.”

Carlie's head snapped back as if he'd slapped her. She tried to compose herself, but vivid, humiliating images were suddenly whirling through her mind. Her voice was a croak as she tried to regain control. ”I want you to leave now, Tyler. I mean it.”

He came slowly to his feet, his eyes on her pale face. ”Before I screwed things up, I think you would have laughed if I suggested that. I'll get you to laugh again, Carlie. I'm not going to let you run away from me like this.”

Carlie snorted, recovering slightly with his calm, arrogant statement. ”I don't run from anyone. Not anymore. But I'll be up-front with you. If you persist in making s.e.xual innuendos, I won't a.s.sociate with you. I mean it.”

Tyler tried that word out on his tongue. ”a.s.sociate? Hmm. Sounds suspiciously like a business relations.h.i.+p.”

”Or a casual friends.h.i.+p. The choice is yours.” It took all Carlie's resolve to maintain eye contact. His eyes appeared almost black with emotion. He looked very tired.

Tyler gave her a gentle, sincere smile. ”If the choice was mine, we'd be back in bed right now, everything else forgotten.”

Carlie went rigid. ”You were wrong, Tyler. I detest your outrageousness. Now please leave.”

He scrutinized her. ”Talk to me about your divorce.”