Part 40 (1/2)

”When I looked at dad I was surprised. He seemed cool and bright, with the self-contained force usual for him when something critical is about to happen.

”'Ahuh! So you come back,' he said.

”'Yes, I'm home,' replied Jack.

”'Wal, it took you quite a spell to get hyar.'

”'Do you want me to stay?'

”This question from Jack seemed to stump dad. He stared. Jack had appeared suddenly, and his manner was different from that with which he used to face dad. He had something up his sleeve, as the cowboys say. He wore an air of defiance and indifference.

”'I reckon I do,' replied dad, deliberately. 'What do you mean by askin'

me thet?'

”'I'm of age, long ago. You can't make me stay home. I can do as I like.'

”'Ahuh! I reckon you think you can. But not hyar at White Slides. If you ever expect to get this property you'll not do as you like.'

”'To h.e.l.l with that. I don't care whether I ever get it or not.'

”Dad's face went as white as a sheet. He seemed shocked. After a moment he told me I'd better go to my room. I was about to go when Jack said: 'No, let her stay. She'd best hear now what I've got to say. It concerns her.'

”'So ho! Then you've got a heap to say?' exclaimed dad, queerly. 'All right, you have your say first.'

”Jack then began to talk in a level and monotonous voice, so unlike him that I sat there amazed. He told how early in the winter, before he left the ranch, he had found out that he was honestly in love with me. That it had changed him--made him see he had never been any good--and inflamed him with the resolve to be better. He had tried. He had succeeded. For six weeks he had been all that could have been asked of any young man. I am bound to confess that he was!... Well, he went on to say how he had fought it out with himself until he absolutely _knew_ he could control himself. The courage and inspiration had come from his love for me. That was the only good thing he'd ever felt. He wanted dad and he wanted me to understand absolutely, without any doubt, that he had found a way to hold on to his good intentions and good feelings. And that was for _me!_... I was struck all a-tremble at the truth. It was true! Well, then he forced me to a decision. Forced me, without ever hinting of this change, this possibility in him. I had told him I _couldn't_ love him. Never! Then he said I could go to h.e.l.l and he gave up. Failing to get money from dad he stole it, without compunction and without regret! He had gone to Kremmling, then to Elgeria.

”'I let myself go,' he said, without shame, 'and I drank and gambled.

When I was drunk I didn't remember Collie. But when I was sober I did.

And she haunted me. That grew worse all the time. So I drank to forget her.... The money lasted a great deal longer than I expected. But that was because I won as much as I lost, until lately. Then I borrowed a good deal from those men I gambled with, but mostly from ranchers who knew my father would be responsible.... I had a shooting-sc.r.a.pe with a man named Elbert, in Smith's place at Elgeria. We quarreled over cards.

He cheated. And when I hit him he drew on me. But he missed. Then I shot him.... He lived three days--and died. That sobered me. And once more there came to me truth of what I might have been. I went back to Kremmling. And I tried myself out again. I worked awhile for Judson, who was the rancher I had borrowed most from. At night I went into town and to the saloons, where I met my gambling cronies. I put myself in the atmosphere of drink and cards. And I resisted both. I could make myself indifferent to both. As soon as I was sure of myself I decided to come home. And here I am.'

”This long speech of Jack's had a terrible effect upon me. I was stunned and sick. But if it did that to me _what_ did it do to dad? Heaven knows, I can't tell you. Dad gave a lurch, and a great heave, as if at the removal of a rope that had all but strangled him.

”Ahuh-huh!' he groaned. 'An' now you're hyar--what's thet mean?'

”It means that it's not yet too late,' replied Jack. 'Don't misunderstand me. I'm not repenting with that side of me which is bad.

But I've sobered up. I've had a shock. I see my ruin. I still love you, dad, despite--the cruel thing you did to me. I'm your son and I'd like to make up to you for all my shortcomings. And so help me Heaven! I can do that, and will do it, if Collie will marry me. Not only marry me--that'd not be enough--but love me--I'm crazy for her love. It's terrible.'

”You spoiled weaklin'!' thundered dad. 'How 'n h.e.l.l can I believe you?'

”Because I know it,' declared Jack, standing right up to his father, white and unflinching.

”Then dad broke out in such a rage that I sat there scared so stiff I could not move. My heart beat thick and heavy. Dad got livid of face, his hair stood up, his eyes rolled. He called Jack every name I ever heard any one call him, and then a thousand more. Then he cursed him.

Such dreadful curses! Oh, how sad and terrible to hear dad!