Part 16 (1/2)

I wrote _this_ piece at Inspiration Point.

The Ballad of the Thoughtless Waiter

I saw him lying cold and dead Who yesterday was whole.

”Why,” I inquired, ”hath he expired?

And why hath fled his soul?”

”But yesterday,” his comrade said, ”All health was his, and strength; And this is why he came to die-- If I may speak at length.

”But yesternight at dinnertime At a not unknown cafe, He had a frugal meal as you Might purchase any day.

”The check for his so simple fare Was only eighty cents, And a dollar bill with a right good will Came from his opulence.

”The waiter brought him twenty cents.

'Twas only yesternight That he softly said who now is dead 'Oh, keep it. 'At's a' right.'

”And the waiter plainly uttered 'Thanks,'

With no hint of scorn or pride; And my comrade's heart gave a sudden start And my comrade up and died.”

Now waiters overthwart this land, In tearooms and in dives, Mute be your lips whatever the tips, And save your customers' lives.

Rus Vs. Urbs

Whene'er the penner of this pome Regards a lovely country home, He sighs, in words not insincere, ”I think I'd like to live out here.”

And when the builder of this ditty Returns to this pulsating city, The perpetrator of this pome Yearns for a lovely country home.

”I'm Out of the Army Now”

When first I doffed my olive drab, I thought, delightedly though mutely, ”Henceforth I shall have pleasure ab- Solutely.”

Dull with the drudgery of war, Sick of the very name of fighting, I yearned, I thought, for something more Exciting.

The rainbow be my guide, quoth I; My suit shall be a brave and proud one Gay-hued my socks; and oh, my tie A loud one!

For me the theatre and the dance; Primrose the path I would be wending; For me the roses of romance Unending.

Those were my inner thoughts that day (And those of many another million) When once again I should be a Civilian.

I would not miss the old o. d.; (Monotony I didn't much like) I would not miss the reveille, And such like.

I don't ... And do I now enjoy My walks along the primrose way so?

Is civil life the life? Oh, boy, I'll say so.