Part 11 (2/2)

”One day the cook she up and left, She up and left us flat.

She was getting a hundred and ten a mon- Th, but she couldn't work for that.

”And the waitress trim was her bosom friend, And she wouldn't stay no more; And our strong chauffeur eloped with her Who was maid of the second floor.

”And we couldn't get no other help, So I had to cook and wait.

It was quite absurd,” wept the elderly bird.

”I deserve a better fate.

”And I drove the car and I made the beds Till the housekeeper up and quit; And the man at the door found that a bore, Which is why I am, to wit:

”At once a cook and a waitress trim And the maid of the second floor, And a strong chauffeur and a housekeep_er_, And the man who tends the door.”

Abelard and Helose

[”There are so many things I want to talk to you about.”

Abelard probably said to Helose, ”but how can I when I can only think about kissing you?”--KATHARINE LANE in the _Evening Mail_.]

Said Abelard to Helose: ”Your tresses blowing in the breeze Enchant my soul; your cheek allures; I never knew such lips as yours.”

Said Helose to Abelard: ”I know that it is cruel, hard, To make you fold your yearning arms And think of things besides my charms.”

Said Abelard to Helose: ”Pray let's discuss the Portuguese; Their status in the League of Nations.

... Come, slip me seven osculations.”

”The Fourteen Points,” said Helose, ”Are pure Woodrovian fallacies.”

Said Abelard: ”Ten times fourteen The points you have, O beaucoup queen!”

”Lay off,” said Helose, ”all that stuff.

I've heard the same old thing enough.”

”But,” answered Abelard, ”your lips Put all my thoughts into eclipse.”

”O Abelard,” said Helose, ”Don't take so many liberties.”

”O Helose,” said Abelard, ”I do it but to show regard.”

And Helose told her chum that night That Abelard was Awful Bright; And--thus is drawn the cosmic plan-- She _loved_ an Intellectual Man.

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