Part 10 (2/2)

Said the wholesale grocer, in righteous mood, As he went to adulterate salable food.

Spake as follows the merchant king: ”Isn't this war a disgraceful thing?

Heartless, cruel, and useless, too; It doesn't seem that it _can_ be true.

Think of the misery, want, and fear!

We ought to be grateful we've no war here.

”Six a week”--to a girl--”That's flat!

I can get a thousand to work for that.”

Fifty-Fifty

For something like eleven summers I've written things that aimed to teach Our careless mealy-mouthed mummers To be more sedulous of speech.

So sloppy of articulation So limping and so careless they About distinct enunciation, Often I don't know what they say.

The other night an able actor, Declaiming of some lines I heard, I hailed a public benefactor, As I distinguished every word.

But, oh! the subtle disappointment!

Thorn on the celebrated rose And fly within the well-known ointment!

(Allusions everybody knows.)

Came forth the words exact and snappy.

And as I sat there, that P.M., I mused, ”Was I not just as happy When I could not distinguish them?”

”So s.h.i.+nes a Good Deed in a Naughty World”

There was a man in our town, and he was wondrous rich; He gave away his millions to the colleges and sich; And people cried: ”The hypocrite! He ought to understand The ones who really need him are the children of this land.”

When Andrew Croesus built a home for children who were sick, The people said they rather thought he did it as a trick, And writers said: ”He thinks about the drooping girls and boys, But what about conditions with the men whom he employs?”

There was a man in our town who said that he would share His profits with his laborers, for that was only fair, And people said: ”Oh, isn't he the shrewd and foxy gent?

It cost him next to nothing for that free advertis.e.m.e.nt.”

There was a man in our town who had the perfect plan To do away with poverty and other ills of man, But he feared the public jeering, and the folks who would defame him, So he never told the plan he had, and I can hardly blame him.

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