Chapter 136: Lunatic Guan (2/2)

”Magnefique! This is gorgeous!” Shang exclaimed. ”Ye, do you know what it is? It’s known as the Twirling Tongue Tease! According to a research on women, ladies who spoke in such tease hold an alluring arousing appearance - a God’s gift! I never knew, never knew the slightest, that in a filthy place like this, a beauty, a beauty of such otherworldliness stood, just stood right there!” No one seemed to get what Shang was saying anymore… his tone was intensely passionate that it felt like some gibberish generated from dictionary.

No doubt, Ye Chong did not understand a single sentence uttered by this lunatic indulgence. He probably only got the part where Shang emphasized on how good Lunatic Guan was. She’s… good? His eyes were rolled into the realm of his head, wondering how Hei Zi would be jumping around and seeing the dinner he had last night returning if he heard what Shang had said.

Ye Chong took a careful look at Lunatic Guan, still, he did not identify anything good on her… other than her hands. They were a nice pair of hands, which they were fair, with great proportion. Ye Chong’s eyes could even discern the fine distribution of muscles on the arms. Slender yet agile hands! The downside though… Ye Chong was sighing, the skin was too fair. Fragile, feeble, torn upon touch, the defense would be poor.

But thinking of how she was actually a chemist who fought in a laboratory with chemicals, rather than a real hand-to-hand fighting, Ye Chong was confused of his judgment once again.

Lunatic Guan had gotten used to Ye Chong’s silence, just like how Ye Chong had gotten used to her drunk lunatic self. Most of his visits happened to spot her alcoholic self slurring and rolling around while twitching in some insanity sometimes, which were the reasons why Hei Zi showed reluctance of paying her a visit and also why her name being ”Lunatic” Guan.

”Oh… Gulp. Don’t tell… Don’t tell me, you had finished your… your… strengthening liquid… che-chemical again…” She swung her cup, ”Wait… no. You had taken tons before this… You-You can’t have used all up already…” Lunatic Guan was shocked and she giggled as she teased, ”So… you did miss the good old me, eh? Ye my boy. Hahahaha, hmm? Why don’t, why don’t, I accompany our poor, poor, poor lonely Ye boy tonight? Only tonight!”

”Holy!” Shang sounded mesmerized, ”Gorgeous!” He sounded impatient, ”Ye, say yes to that statement, go green light! Please make sure you accept the world’s greatest offer!”

Of course Ye Chong directly showed ignorance towards the unwanted cheerleading counseling service.

”It’s not about the strengthening chemical, ma’am.” Ye Chong spoke on, ”Master called me here to learn about alchemy from Aunt Guan.”

Lunatic Guan flinched… and then she began making glances over Ye Chong, ”Well, I can’t tell at first sight. Looks like your master had some expectations on you… for he actually asked you here to learn alchemy from me. How could I miss such hint? Tsk, tsk, they say you shouldn’t judge a wine by its bottle and I guess it’s true. The good old me had seen it wrong!” She probably meant ”judge a book by its cover”…

”Well,” Ye Chong asked abruptly. ”What does Aunt Guan think about this?”

”Kekekekekekekeke… Jajajajajaja…” Lunatic Guan went lunatic for a moment, ”Ay, Ye my little boy, how many times must I remind you? Call me Sister! ‘Aunt Guan, this.’ and ‘Aunt Guan, that’, you and your naming are making me old!” She might had gone lunatic, but Ye Chong saw her hand holding the cup, her fingers twirling the handle, justifying the fact that she was considering it.

So Ye Chong stayed quiet as he waited for a clear, conscious reply from her.

…

… …

It was a moment of silence between both of them.

The fingers stopped twirling. ”So, what do you think?” Ye Chong quickly spoke, in his usual monotonous tone.

Lunatic Guan looked quite surprised. Apparently she did not expect Ye Chong to grasp the timing so accurately.

The cheeky smile on her face vaporized somehow. Her expression was stern out of sudden, which Ye Chong saw it the first time ever on her. Her bottomless pupils rolled over Ye Chong and rolled back to the center, as she looked into the cup, her words fell slow, ”If it’s an order by your master, if you really wanted to come here and learn alchemy, I wouldn’t mind…” Her voice trailed off.

”Mhm. Conditions? What about the conditions?” asked Ye Chong with his still face.

”Well, conditions, there's none…” Lunatic Guan’s eyes looked greatly impressed, ”If you want to learn alchemy from me, there are indeed a few rules and regulations from me. If you could not obey them, I won’t be teaching you at all, even if your master came and tried convincing me,” the last sentence went grim.

”Ok,” Ye Chong was not horrified. ”State it,” his tone fell flatly.

”First, what your master intended was probably for you to master the formula of a few kinds of strengthening liquid. But, since you came for me, I’ll decide what I want to teach and you can leave only after I admitted your expertise in this! You cannot simply leave on a whim anytime before this. Of course, you are allowed to get back to your master occasionally,” she spoke serenely.

”No problem,” Ye Chong replied after a moment of pondering,

”Second, you are my student and you will do as what I have instructed, no doubt, no bargain and most importantly, no slacking!”

”Okay.”

”Third, whatever place I forbid you to go and whatever item I disallow you to touch, do not, ever, go, and do not, ever, touch it! If I caught you, you better be able to face the consequences.” Though the regulation came nonchalantly, Ye Chong could smell the danger between the words for some reason.

”I am not a curious person to begin with,” Ye Chong was confident of this side of his personality.

”Think it through,” stated Lunatic Guan.

”Done it,” replied Ye Chong. ”I agree.”

”Are you sure?”

”Sure.”

”Hm, alright. For starters, clean this room, organize everything.” The first instruction was tossed over Ye Chong as Lunatic Guan burped, turned and walked away in grace.

”Ye.”

”Regarding those words…”

”Ye, I’m taking every word that I’ve said!” No cure for regrets, Shang… Horrified Shang upon seeing the piling junks in the room. His mechanical heart ran colder than ever.