Part 9 (1/2)

Manage your energy. Don't sacrifice your health by trying to take on too much. Your body is an amazing machine, but it doesn't come with a warranty, you can't trade it in, and repairs can be costly. It's important to manage your energy so you can do what you must do, achieve what you want to achieve, and live the life you want to live.

Take owners.h.i.+p of your environment. Make sure that the people around you and your physical surroundings support your goals. The right people in your life and the right physical environment on your daily path will support your efforts to get to your ONE Thing. When both are in alignment with your ONE Thing, they will supply the optimism and physical lift you need to make your ONE Thing happen.

Screenwriter Leo Rosten pulled everything together for us when he said, ”I cannot believe that the purpose of life is to be happy. I think the purpose of life is to be useful, to be responsible, to be compa.s.sionate. It is, above all, to matter, to count, to stand for something, to have made some difference that you lived at all.” Live with Purpose, Live by Priority, and Live for Productivity. Follow these three for the same reason you make the three commitments and avoid the four thieves-because you want to leave your mark. You want your life to matter.

18 THE JOURNEY.

”To get through the hardest journey we need take only one step at a time, but we must keep on stepping.”

-Chinese Proverb ”One step at a time” may be trite, but it's still true. No matter the objective, no matter the destination, the journey to anything you want always starts with a single step.

That step is called the ONE Thing.

I want you to do something. I want you to close your eyes and imagine your life as big as it can possibly be. As big as you have ever dared to dream, and then some. Can you see it?

Now, open your eyes and listen to me. Whatever you can see, you have the capacity to move toward. And when what you go for is as vast as you can possibly envision, you'll be living the biggest life you can possibly live.

Living large is that simple.

Let me share a way you can do this. Write down your current income. Then multiply it by a number: 2, 4, 10, 20-it doesn't matter. Just pick one, multiply your income by it, and write down the new number. Looking at it and ignoring whether you're frightened or excited, ask yourself, ”Will my current actions get me to this number in the next five years?” If they will, then keep doubling the number until they won't. If you then make your actions match your answer, you'll be living large.

Now, I use personal earnings only as an example. This thinking can apply to your spiritual life, your physical conditioning, your personal relations.h.i.+ps, your career achievement, your business success, or anything else that matters to you. When you lift the limits of your thinking, you expand the limits of your life. It's only when you can imagine a bigger life that you can ever hope to have one.

The challenge is that living the largest life possible requires you not only to think big, but also to take the necessary actions to get there.

Extraordinary results require you to go small.

Getting your focus as small as possible simplifies your thinking and crystallizes what you must do. No matter how big you can think, when you know where you're going and work backwards to what you need to do to get there, you'll always discover it begins with going small. Years ago, I wanted an apple tree on our property. Turns out you can't buy a fully mature one. The only option I had was to buy a small one and grow it. I could think big, but I had no choice but to start small. So I did, and five years later we had apples. But because I thought as big as I could, guess what? You got it. I didn't just plant one. Today-we have an orchard.

Your life is like this. You don't get a fully mature one. You get a small one and the opportunity to grow it-if you want to. Think small and your life's likely to stay small. Think big and your life has a chance to grow big. The choice is yours. When you choose a big life, by default, you'll have to go small to get there. You must survey your choices, narrow your options, line up your priorities, and do what matters most. You must go small. You must find your ONE Thing.

There is no surefire thing, but there's always something, ONE Thing, that out of everything matters more than anything. I'm not saying there will only be one thing, or even the same thing, forever. I'm saying that at any moment in time there can be only ONE Thing, and when that ONE Thing is in line with your purpose and sits atop your priorities, it will be the most productive thing you can do to launch you toward the best you can be.

Actions build on action. Habits build on habit. Success builds on success. The right domino knocks down another and another and another. So whenever you want extraordinary results, look for the levered action that will start a domino run for you. Big lives ride the powerful wave of chain reactions and are built sequentially, which means when you're aiming for success you can't just skip to the end. Extraordinary doesn't work like that. The knowledge and momentum that build as you live the ONE Thing each day, each week, each month, and each year are what give you the ability to build an extraordinary life.

”Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.”

- T. S. Eliot But this doesn't just happen. You have to make it happen.

One evening an elder Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside all people. He said, ”My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us. One is Fear. It carries anxiety, concern, uncertainty, hesitancy, indecision and inaction. The other is Faith. It brings calm, conviction, confidence, enthusiasm, decisiveness, excitement and action.” The grandson thought about it for a moment and then meekly asked his grandfather: ”Which wolf wins?” The old Cherokee replied, ”The one you feed.”

Your journey toward extraordinary results will be built above all else on faith. It's only when you have faith in your purpose and priorities that you'll seek out your ONE Thing. And once certain you know it, you'll have the personal power necessary to push you through any hesitancy to do it. Faith ultimately leads to action, and when we take action we avoid the very thing that could undermine or undo everything we've worked for-regret.

ADVICE FROM A FRIEND.

As satisfying as succeeding is, as fulfilling as journeying feels, there is actually an even better reason to get up every day and take action on your ONE Thing. On your way to living a life worth living, doing your best to succeed at what matters most to you not only rewards you with success and happiness but with something even more precious.

No regrets.

”Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

-Mark Twain If you could go back in time and talk to the 18-year-young you or leap forward and visit with the 80-year-old you, who would you want to take advice from? It's an interesting proposition. For me, it would be my older self. The view from the stern comes with the wisdom gathered from a longer and wider lens.

So what would an older, wiser you say? ”Go live your life. Live it fully, without fear. Live with purpose, give it your all, and never give up.” Effort is important, for without it you will never succeed at your highest level. Achievement is important, for without it you will never experience your true potential. Pursuing purpose is important, for unless you do, you may never find lasting happiness. Step out on faith that these things are true. Go live a life worth living where, in the end, you'll be able to say, ”I'm glad I did,” not ”I wish I had.”

Why do I think this? Because many years ago I began trying to understand what a life worth living would look like. I decided to go out and discover what this might be. It was a trip worth taking. I visited with people older than me, wiser than me, more successful than me. I researched, I read, I sought advice. From every credible source imaginable, I looked for clues and signs. Ultimately I stumbled on a simple point of view: A life worth living might be measured in many ways, but the one way that stands above all others is living a life of no regrets.

Life is too short to pile up woulda, coulda, shouldas.

What clinched this for me was when I asked myself who might be the people with the greatest clarity about life. I decided it was those who were nearing the end of theirs. If starting with the end in mind is a good idea, then there's no end further than the very end of life to look for clues about how to live. I wondered what people with nothing left to do but look back might tell me about how to move forward. Their collective voice was overwhelming, the answer clear: live your life to minimize the regrets you might have at the end.

What kind of regrets? For me, very few books cause tears, much less require a handkerchief, but Bronnie Ware's 2012 book The Top Five Regrets of the Dying did both. Ware spent many years caring for those facing their own mortality. When she questioned the dying about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, Bronnie found that common themes surfaced again and again. In descending order, the five most common were these: I wish that I'd let myself be happier-too late they realized happiness is a choice; I wish I'd stayed in touch with my friends-too often they failed to give them the time and effort they deserved; I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings-too frequently shut mouths and shuttered feelings weighed too heavy to handle; I wish I hadn't worked so hard-too much time spent making a living over building a life caused too much remorse.

As tough as these were, one stood out above them all. The most common regret was this: I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself not the life others expected of me. Half-filled dreams and unfulfilled hopes: this was the number-one regret expressed by the dying. As Ware put it, ”Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.”

Bronnie Ware's observations aren't hers alone. At the conclusion of their exhaustive research, Gilovich and Medvec in 1994 wrote, ”When people look back on their lives, it is the things they have not done that generate the greatest regret.... People's actions may be troublesome initially; it is their inactions that plague them most with long-term feelings of regret.”

Honoring our hopes and pursuing productive lives through faith in our purpose and priorities is the message from our elders. From the wisest position they'll ever have comes their clearest message.

No regrets.

So make sure every day you do what matters most. When you know what matters most, everything makes sense. When you don't know what matters most, anything makes sense. The best lives aren't led this way.

SUCCESS IS AN INSIDE JOB.

So, how do you live a life of no regrets? The same way your journey to extraordinary results begins. With purpose, priority, and productivity; with the knowledge that regret must be avoided, and can be; with your ONE Thing at the top of your mind and the top of your schedule; with a single first step we can all take.

I believe the best way to share this is in a story.

One evening, a young boy hopped up on his father's lap and whispered, ”Dad, we don't spend enough time together.” The father, who dearly loved his son, knew in his heart this was true and replied, ”You're right and I'm so sorry. But I promise I'll make it up to you. Since tomorrow is Sat.u.r.day, why don't we spend the entire day together? Just you and me!” It was a plan, and the boy went to bed that night with a smile on his face, envisioning the day, excited about the adventurous possibilities with his Pops.

The next morning the father rose earlier than usual. He wanted to make sure he could still enjoy his ritual cup of coffee with the morning paper before his son awoke, wound up and ready to go. Lost in thought reading the business section, he was caught by surprise when suddenly his son pulled the newspaper down and enthusiastically shouted, ”Dad, I'm up. Let's play!”

The father, although thrilled to see his son and eager to start the day together, found himself guiltily craving just a little more time to finish his morning routine. Quickly racking his brain, he hit upon a promising idea. He grabbed his son, gave him a huge hug, and announced that their first game would be to put a puzzle together, and when that was done, ”we'll head outside to play for the rest of the day.”

Earlier in his reading, he had seen a full-page ad with a picture of the world. He quickly found it, tore it into little pieces, and spread them out on the table. He found some tape for his son and said, ”I want to see how fast you can put this puzzle together.” The boy enthusiastically dove right in, while his father, confident that he had now bought some extra time, buried himself back in his paper.

Within minutes, the boy once again yanked down his father's newspaper and proudly announced, ”Dad, I'm done!” The father was astonished. For what lay in front of him-whole, intact, and complete-was the picture of the world, back together as it was in the ad and not one piece out of place. In a voice mixed with parental pride and wonder, the father asked, ”How on earth did you do that so fast?”

The young boy beamed. ”It was easy, Dad! I couldn't do it at first and I started to give up, it was so hard. But then I dropped a piece on the floor, and because it's a gla.s.s-top table, when I looked up I saw that there was a picture of a man on the other side. That gave me an idea!

”When I put the man together, the world just fell into place.”