Part 12 (1/2)

I frowned. 'I dont think I would be . . .

He didnt answer immediately, just sat staring and rocking. When he did, his voice was low, soft. 'Youre right. You wouldnt be any different and thats what makes you so special. He stopped and frowned. 'But the rest of us? That stuff defines us. It gives us opportunities for good and bad. It gives us freedom though thats not always a great thing, Im learning.

'But could there really be that many big secrets?

He shrugged. 'Everyones got secrets, Willow. Everyones got something they wish they hadnt done. Thats human nature.

'But secrets big enough to want to see someone dead?

'Maybe . . .

I thought of JoJo back up in my room. Yes, she was there, Id checked. She still looked weak did that mean shed be completely gone one day? It was a risk I didnt want to take. It really bothered me that she was hazy on what had happened. I mean, what if she was wrong? Maybe there were two separate issues JoJos death and the threats?

'I still dont know. Like, it doesnt make sense to me. I mean, for starters, why keep the torture going? Its not like anythings being gained other than to send everyone insane and turn them all against each other.

He nodded and swallowed a huge gulp of c.o.ke.

'I think Kristies our best bet. Theres something about her, I continued, pus.h.i.+ng the bowl towards him. If I ate one more thing Id explode, and that was sooo not the look I was going for around Seth.

He nodded. 'Maybe we should call and see her tomorrow.

'On what excuse? Have you, like, ever just dropped in on her before? I mean, come on, Seth!

'Youve got no faith, Willow Cartwright! he answered with a grin which stayed in place the whole time it took to reach into his pocket and pull out something long and sparkly. Very sparkly. 'I found this bracelet on the deck. I was about to start asking around when it hit me that it could be a good way to get into their houses. We just knock on the door and ask if it belongs to them.

Amazing. I wanted to hurl myself at him. 'You are brilliant! But what about me? Whats my excuse for being there? You dont think theyd think it was a bit weird?

He shrugged. 'Yeah well, thats where my idea comes in . . .

There was something about the way he said those words. I felt my heart rate start to pick up. 'And?

He pursed his lips for a moment, his eyes twinkling. 'Not sure how youre going to take this, but . . .

'Come on!

He laughed; a soft, funny growl that made me melt. 'Okay, how would you like to be my girlfriend? Before I could explode with joy, he held up one hand. 'Dont panic I dont mean for real. Just thinking it might give us a better cover if we were together. It came to me today on the boat. He paused again, his eyes unsure. 'So, what do you think? Up for it?

What was I supposed to say? Admit hed just made me the happiest girl alive for one second before crus.h.i.+ng me to a pulp in the next? Swallowing deeply, I tried to weigh it all up. Of course it would be sweet torture. But then again, it could be a good plan and it wasnt like I was all that much closer to any answers the way I was travelling now.

But was I really ready to swallow any pride I had? Ready to take crumbs from Seth Pentecost? Because thats what our pretend romance would be crumbs.

Then again were crumbs better than starving to death?

I hadnt been able to look at him since hed made his announcement, and now finally I lifted my head. It was his eyes that prompted me into speech. Those eyes, so dark, so unsure . . .

Oh h.e.l.l, Id probably regret it but then again, these memories might be the ones that kept me warm in my old age. 'Yeah, why not.

He didnt smile. Just raised both eyebrows, and stared at me for a long minute. Then he sighed and shrugged. 'Okay then. Lets do it.

And yes, Im human; I wanted to know what that look meant, but Macey bounced over, again waving her phone. 'Hey bro! That was Dad on the phone. The prodigal father returneth! She sobered somewhat but her excitement was still pretty obvious. She was totally different around her dad softer somehow. I got it. Their dad spent most of the time away, and they both adored him. It was like their lives changed completely every time he made it back to The Coast.

I always envied them that that even though it wasnt very often, when they had him home, they had a cool dad. 'Hes on his way to Coolangatta airport and hes only here overnight. Im heading over. You coming? You too, Wills you know he loves seeing you.

I smiled at them. 'Nah. Im going to head home. I didnt run today and the bod is feeling stiff. I grinned. 'All this high livin and all . . . Not used to it.

Seth seemed to study me the whole time I spoke, and I started feeling really awkward. When they were dropping me off, Macey called us both on it.

I looked at him. 'I think you should tell her. Its your idea.

His nod was serious. 'Ill call you tomorrow, yeah? Well go out and see Kristie.

I nodded and wished Macey good luck. I went through to the laundry room and grabbed some running gear and my joggers, and headed for the beach.

I couldnt remember a time recently when I needed this more than I did right then. And that was saying something.

An hour later I felt calmer; I even began to feel more positive at least until I began to climb the stairs to my room. Funny, I remembered when this was an ordinary event. Now I dreaded every second, and if I wasnt pretty sure JoJo would follow me, Id have snagged one of the guest rooms.

Of course, she was waiting.

Amazingly, I was getting used to the drop in air temperature that again enveloped me as soon as I stepped through the door it was almost like having my own personal air-conditioner, and would be a b.i.t.c.h in winter.

One glance told me she was back 'in. 'I thought youd be hanging out with Simon.

'And I thought you were going to get me out of here. Why havent you found out anything? I cant believe Im stuck here with someone so clueless!

So, nothing had changed. 'Im the only clueless one? Should I remind you that you were there on the boat with me for some of that time and you arent exactly bursting with revelations? I thought at least youd be able to recognise the person who hates you so much that they wanted you dead. Help me and well get there faster.

I wasnt angry, just tired. I should have kept walking to my closet and let it all roll over me but no, I had to stop and dart one more look her way. And d.a.m.n it, she was looking so, so I dont know miserable? I sighed. I so got that it couldnt be easy being dead and h.e.l.l, it was a gig I didnt want to have to experience for a waaay long time to come. Maybe thats why it got to me. And I caved.

I walked towards where she sat in her usual position on the end of my bed. 'Hey, look . . . Maybe Ive been a bit rough on you. Maybe we should call some kind of truce.

The closer I got to her the wider her eyes opened. I thought it was appreciation. A breakthrough?

Again, I was wrong.

Her lip curled. Really. It curled. A nice mix of fear and disgust. Fear and disgust? So that should have been my clue, right?

One hand came up, giving me the halt signal. 'Oh my G.o.d, youre not going to touch me, are you? Youre wearing off-the-rack . . .

'What? She made it sound like I had some horrid disease. I raised my hands and let them fall in the cla.s.sic symbol of defeat. 'I give up, JoJo. I really give up. And you know? You can just go to h- I stopped as a new thought made an appearance. 'Oh my G.o.d why didnt I think of this before? h.e.l.l. I shook my head, sad and smug all at the same time. 'And thats all Im going to say on the subject.

And you know thats all it took. Part of the black cloud lifted. As for JoJo? She was strangely quiet, and that was one gift I was not going to question.

It was just a pity this good mood couldnt have lasted a bit longer.

An hour later I added 'trying to get my head around the domestic haven my house had become to the rest of the growing stockpile of emotions that I was trying to deal with. Particularly the idea of a meal being prepared and ready at usual meal times, which I hadnt organised. Even Rita hadnt been this good. It was all thanks to Suzy, but hey whatever worked. Even more mind-blowing was the fact that we were to eat in the dining room. Together. Id even forgotten what our table looked like because it was always loaded with piles of paper and boxes of leaflets. To see this sparkling gla.s.s table supported by the carved marble base was almost a shock. The French doors leading onto the deck were open and beyond that, in the dusk, the waves of Mermaid Beach crashed onto the sh.o.r.e. There were candles and flowers on the table and more candles on the tables on the deck. G.o.d, it was like Id fallen into the pages of Vogue Living all made more amazing by the new connection Id felt with Dad this morning. I sooo didnt want this fantasy to end.

Then our other guest wandered in, all showered and sparkly mostly thanks to the sunburn that gave him that special glow, which in a weird way suited his G.o.d-like looks.