Part 7 (1/2)
”There's a free spay-neuter clinic today,” Shoumatoff said. ”So just let me take him and save you the trouble. I'll keep him until you get home later.”
Jasper glanced over Anica's shoulder and there was Lily, smirking. Oh yeah, this was hilarious. A real laugh riot. He struggled to get away, but Anica held him tight.
”Thank you, Miss Shoumatoff,” she said, ”but I plan to take him to my personal vet.”
Jasper had to believe that was a lie.
Shoumatoff frowned. ”He'll charge a fee, won't he?”
”Yes, but my vet should get to know him if this cat is going to be part of my household.”
Surely Anica was making this up as she went along. Jasper prayed that was the case. The thought of becoming part of Anica's household, eating from a dish on the counter every day-he might have to drown himself in the toilet bowl if it came to that.
Then he had another horrible thought. If Anica couldn't change him back, she would feel obliged to keep him, and she really would take him to her personal vet. Jasper began to tremble as that potential eventuality played in his mind in excruciating detail.
”It's a ridiculous waste of money,” Shoumatoff said. ”But if you want to throw your money away, that's up to you.”
”I appreciate the thought, Miss Shoumatoff.”
Jasper didn't.
”Just trying to help.” Shoumatoff stomped back to her apartment.
”Thanks,” Anica called after her. She closed and locked the door.
”Bossy b.i.t.c.h, isn't she?” Lily said.
”She's the kind of wild-eyed zealot who gives a good cause a bad name. Now, where were we?”
”I believe we were trying to revert Jasper to his original self before your neighbor has him castrated. That could really ruin a guy's day.”
”Right. But she's never getting her hands on you, Jasper.”
Jasper certainly hoped not. He shuddered every time he thought about that woman. If he wasn't keen on the potion before, he was all over it now. He'd drink sludge from an oil pan if it would keep him out of Shoumatoff's clutches.
Lily and Anica stood hovering nearby as he crept toward the bowl, his whiskers twitching. The closer he came, the worse it smelled. He'd had a pair of gym shoes years ago that would have qualified for the toxic waste Superfund. Even they hadn't smelled this bad.
Of course, his sense of smell was ten times better than it had been as a guy. Plus if he'd been a guy, he could have held his nose while he drank this swill. As a cat he had no option except to take it like . . . like a cat.
Slowly he lowered his face toward the shallow bowl. He estimated it contained about two ounces of this hideous brew. He couldn't gulp it, either. He had to lap it, one tongue full at a time.
He took a taste and backed away, sputtering. Dear G.o.d, that was noxious stuff!
”Remember the goal, Jasper,” Anica said softly.
Exactly. The goal of becoming a man again so he could avoid castration and so he could make that witchy blonde pay for what she'd done to him. He forced himself back to the bowl and began lapping. Every time he started to gag, every time he wanted to quit, he pictured Anica homeless and living in a piano box down by the Chicago River.
No court would hear this case but that didn't matter. She might have magic on her side, but he'd have justice on his. With every swallow of this evil-tasting brew he vowed to find a way to bring her down.
Chapter 7.
Anica watched in amazement as Jasper powered through the potion. ”He drank it all.”
”He even licked the bowl,” Lily said. ”Maybe it tastes better to a cat.”
”More likely he's motivated to change after Miss Shoumatoff's visit. You should have felt how he tensed up when she proposed the spay-neuter clinic.” She gazed at Jasper.
”He looks like every other cat in the world,” Lily said. ”No one would ever know.”
”I would.”
”And you wouldn't be able to live with yourself, would you?”
”Nope.”
”He's lucky that you have a conscience as big as the John Hanc.o.c.k building. What if you hadn't s.n.a.t.c.hed him up right away and brought him home? What if you'd let him get away?”
”I don't even want to think about it.” With a sigh, Anica turned toward her sister. ”Now I guess we wait.”
”I wait. You go to work. Get your b.u.t.t dressed. The sooner you organize the troops at Wicked Brew, the sooner I can go home and hit the hay.”
Anica started toward the bedroom and then turned back to her sister. ”You could sleep here while I'm gone. My bed's comfy.”
”Thanks, but no, thanks. The recipe said that depending on the potency of the ingredients, it could be longer or shorter than eight hours. I don't relish waking up to find a very enraged, very naked man standing over me. When I meet a naked man, I like him to be smiling.”
”All right, then. I'll-” Anica paused again as Jasper bounded over to her, meowing as he ran. ”What?”
He charged back to her desk, leaped on the chair, and moved the mouse with his paw. Then he batted at it and his original message from early this morning filled the screen.
”Oh, right. I'm supposed to call his work and say he's sick.” She crossed to the bundle of clothes that still lay where she'd tossed them the night before. She needed to gather them up, anyway, so she could take them to the cleaner's on her way to work. His wallet was still in his pants pocket.
She pulled it out. ”I should leave this with you. I mean, in case he transforms really fast and needs it.”
”I'm hoping that doesn't happen, to be honest.” Lily peered over at her sister. ”What's in his wallet?”
”I'm not going to snoop through it, Lily. I found his business card and that's all I-”
”You're insufferable.” Lily grabbed the wallet away from her.
”Lily. Give it back.” She checked out Jasper's reaction, but he seemed intent on typing another message on the screen.
”Come on, don't you have any curiosity?”
”Sure, but I-”
”I doubt he can get any madder than he is already.” Lily thumbed through the bills. ”A hundred and twenty-six bucks.”